The Labtest Contest is Here- So Win Something!
March 11, 2010
When I first started blogging about being HIV positive (those blogs are somewhere, I think) in 1996, one of the ideas I had was The Labtest Contest. I wanted to make getting my routine rounds of blood drawing fun for my new friends in the AIDS community.
At the time, I didn’t realize my counts were low- they’d been low for so long that was just normal for me. I was so happy when my friends participated. Either they too thought it was an innocently goofy idea, or they were enticed by my grand prize- which was a signed picture of myself with a random celebrity. I do believe that Stephen Gendin (RIP) once won a signed polaroid of me and Danny Bonaduce.
Why the stroll down memory lane? Well, I’m bringing the contest back!
Why? Well, I got better swag now. In the fourteen years since the first and last Contest I’ve written a book, released a pretty cool synthpop CD and have made some killer safe sex t-shirts, pictured here. Plus, I have more t-cells than I had back then, so the element of danger has been removed from the Contest.
If you want a chance to win some of my cool crap, just leave a Comment with your guess as to what my latest t-cell count was. If you’re the closest, then you get to choose which gift you want: a copy of My Pet Virus, a CD of my band Synthetic Division or a Screw Smarter t-shirt. Need a clue? Okay: the t-cell count is somewhere between 450 and 600.
Which means act fast! There’s a limited number of guesses. (ha ha)
Official Rules
1. You have to post your guess on my Poz blog Comments section
2. Relatives are disqualified (only because that makes this seem official)
3. Closest wins- no Price is Right logic applied.
4. One vote per person.
5. If no one votes I reserve the right to delete this blog entry and pretend this never happened..
6. Deadline is Monday, March 15.
Positively Yours,
Shawn
Yesterday was the fifth annual Women and Girls HIV/AIDS Awareness Day. Check out Regan’s Poz blog about it. You probably didn’t know that about yesterday, because Corey Haim died and that got more coverage. To read a great blog entry on Haim, visit my friends at (Wo)Men Speak Out.
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Today is International Women’s Day
March 8, 2010
Think there’s no more progress to be made for women now that Kathryn Bigelow cockblocked ex-hubbie James Cameron and became the first female to win Best Director last night at the Oscars?
Think again.
The most recent issue of Poz explores how women are handling life with HIV and the sobering news of its impact: “Women are uniquely vulnerable to HIV. Lack of self-esteem, few resources, gender power imbalances, legal and political limitations, societal misperceptions and even basic biology have contributed to the fact that HIV/AIDS is now the No. 1 cause of disease and death among women ages 15 to 44 worldwide.”
Not to switch gears, but even in winning Best Picture and Best Director for the Hurt Locker, Kathyrn Bigelow had to field numerous questions on what she learned from James Cameron, whom she was married to from 1989-1991. When asked about her historic achievement in cinema, she said, “I hope I’m the first of many, and of course, I’d love to just think of
myself as a filmmaker. And I long for the day when that modifier can be
a moot point.”
On International Women’s Day, we should long for the day when AIDS no longer cuts women down in the prime of their lives, so they can even have the opportunity to go kick some male ass in all walks of life. Because, and I believe the world knows this, we most certainly deserve it.
Positively Yours,
Shawn
Positoid of the Day: Nina Martinez
Check out her profile in the July 2006 issue of Poz!
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Positoid of the Day: Jack Mackenroth
March 1, 2010
This is the first Positoid of the Day Award. I won’t be able to do this every day, just whenever someone with HIV does something inspiring or magical or both. Today’s Positoid of the Day is Poz coverboy Jack Mackenroth, who has more than earned the honor with this Flashdance-inspired ride through a NYC subway.
Enjoy!
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Friendly Faces at NACA
March 1, 2010
I’d posted about Gwenn and I showcasing at the National Association for Campus Activities (NACA) conference a couple of weeks ago, but I haven’t really said what a big deal that was. We got a much coveted 15-minute slot to do our thing, selected from hundreds of submissions, because you’re basically speaking to representatives/students from hundreds of colleges at one time.
No pressure, right?
The good thing is that Gwenn and I had done a NACA regional conference last fall, so we’d already whittled down our hour-long program to a lean, mean 15-minute fighting machine. Basically I axed my entire love life before Gwenn, and instead of a Q&A session we just blazed through the most common questions- do we have sex? How condoms work for us? Is Gwenn scared to have sex with me. (Short Answers- 1. Yes 2. Well, never had a break or slip 3. No.)
It’s funny, our program is deeply personal… but we’ve been speaking about our relationship now for a decade, and how the “program” has evolved is something I am proud of- in the beginning, we were focused on what we do and why we care about HIV education. Now, it’s all about throwing those skills out to the audience, and also explaining why we aren’t scared, why we are safe and that they and their friends may not be, based on assumptions (I can tell by looking at someone if they have something). In the last year or so, I’ve also made it a point to advocate for those who are living with any lifelong sexually transmitted infection. As it is with HIV, the job of preventing further infections lies with us. And of course, one has to know their status to begin with, which is why testing is important since symptoms for just about everything that is out there often don’t reveal themselves.
It’s complicated. And it’s not.
Going to NACA also meant we had the opportunity to see more of our speaking friends. Joe and Bil do a program called “When the Gays Move Into Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood”, which is all about being in a same-sex relationship in a world of hetero privilege. They are also hilarious, at the conference they had Joe & Bil pink scarfs and were raffling off a pink toaster. At NACA, you see, giveaways are a must, because everyone is bombarded from all angles, and you gotta have your name on something that gets back to their school so someone says, “Hey, Joe and Bil were awesome! I loved them,” and begins the process of sharing that program on their own campus.
We gave away Joe and Bil-approved pink Screw Smarter t-shirts.
At NACA we also ran into Todd Murray, whom I’ve been in net communication with over the last several years. It was great to shake hands and thank him for all he’s been doing to show that HIV looks like all of us. Check out the organization he founded, Does HIV Look Like Me? On the way to Boston and NACA, we also got to have coffee with the co-founder of >Just In Case, Marsha, while in Los Angeles. She gave us some condom-carrying compacts to take to Boston, and they were a big hit. It’s nice to see how perfectly style and safety can go together.
Aside from those of us who work in the educational field, there are also a myriad of bizarre pop culture icons. Mr. Belding from Saved By The Bell is a mainstay, and there was a sighting of Ruthie from the Real World Hawaii. Our friends Sue and Melissa at the College Agency weren’t above being starstruck when Snookie happened by- there was even talk of asking Snooks to be an alternate for Gwenn in our “A Boy, A Girl, A Virus” program. (JUST KIDDING. God, I am KIDDING.)
So yeah, NACA is huge. That’s why Gwenn and I freaked out when we were selected for one of 14 showcase spots, because we know tons of people apply for them. Joe and Bil got one, and so did our friend Erin Weed, founder of Girls Fight Back.
When Erin’s college friend, Shannon, was murdered, Erin dropped her post college career plans, learned about women’s self defense, and embarked on a mission to educate women about the fine art of kicking ass. Not only that, in recent years she’s branched out, training a handful of young women to go across the country as part of the Girls Fight Back team.
After our nerve-racking showcases were over, we had dinner with Erin and Megan Norwood, one of her GFB’ers. Later that night, we went for a drink, but the hotel bar was closed, leaving hundreds of NACA attendees in the lurch. There was a “bar” across the street that happened to be a bowling alley. It didn’t look open, and there were a few sketchy guys standing around outside smoking.
I’d never felt safer in my life than I did walking in between Megan and Erin.
The guys were cool once we got closer, and they informed us that the bowling alley was opened. It was actually packed, name tags from NACA dangling about as people unwinded a bit after the hectic 5-day conference was beginning to officially end. After chatting with Erin and Megan, screaming over bad music, we retired for the evening. Oh, that’s Erin and Megan with Mr. Belding, by the way, their booth at the conference was right across from his, and Erin couldn’t resist getting a photo.
The next morning it was back home, we beat another snowfall to get onto the plane- perfect timing once again. This semester has been so busy that it’s been hard to keep up with blog entries to tell all the stories… but I’m happy about that. 2009 ended roughly, and I’ve been put to the test this year and have passed with (literally) flying colors.
And if anyone at NACA cared about what Gwenn and I had to say about sexual health, next year will prove to be even busier. If that’s not the case, I’ll just have to hit the weights, wax my chest and apply for Jersey Shore.
Positively Yours,
Shawn
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The Legendary Rocktree Brothers
February 24, 2010
While in LA Gwenn and I also hung out with Josh and Jenny, whom I went through the last trimester of high school with and beyond. Josh and I always made our own entertainment in Waynesboro… and, as it turns out, we continue to entertain ourselves, at least as far as we can stretch our budgets.
Good thing is that we can afford the occasional coffee. And Josh took us to one of his favorite neighborhood spots, Pete’s, so renowned that Katie of Calvino Cafe here in town said, “Oh, Pete’s is great!” Best of all, my ol’ buddy Josh sponsored me for a Decker’s Daily… sweet!
Josh’s artistic touch isn’t relegated solely to awesome shades: he designed the Bella Morte album art for Beautiful Death and also did the artwork for Lauren Hoffman’s latest album, Interplanetary Traveler. On top of that, he’s the guy responsible for the excellent Screw Smarter t-shirts that Gwenn and I use to spread the word about sexual health on college campuses. (pictured in previous blog entry) Click on his shades or mine to see more of Josh’s work via the Decker’s Daily Coffee blog.
While tooling around in a vintage record shop looking all badass, we came across an old Rocktree Brothers album. The Rocktree Brothers are a little-known duo that released a series of short-run albums in the early 1970’s- so finding a gem like Brothers in the Sun was a real treat. The problem was that the album was warped- not one song played.
So what were we to do?
As we decided to come up with a back-up plan for the evening, Jenny and Gwenn started laughing. Not being able to enjoy Sun was hardly a laughing matter, so we asked what was up.
“You two look like the Rocktrees!” Josh and I glanced at one another, then the photo- we didn’t see it. “Josh is a handsome man, but he’s no Mills Rocktree,” I said. Josh took a look at hard-drinking Olan Rocktree and then me- he didn’t see it either.
“Look closer!” Jenny said. We did. Maybe it’s just that our ladies see the coolness in us that has helped the Rocktree Brothers gain favor in hipster circles in Seattle, London and Scandinavia. Who knows? Either way, it’s a great compliment, we figured.
Positively Yours,
Shawn
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Friendly Faces at AFLV
February 22, 2010
This semester has been busy for me and Gwenn, and thus far we’ve had a great response to our program, A Boy, A Girl, A Virus, which is all about safe, sexual decision-making and how we keep Gwenn safe in our relationship.
Here we are at the Association of Fraternal Leaders & Values (AFLV) conference in St. Louis, where we spoke to over 300 students, a portion of which raided us after the program to get a Screw Smarter t-shirt. Our good speaking buddies, Kelly and Becca, were also at the conference talking about sexual assault awareness, and kindly helped us get this photo op together as did our friends at The College Agency.
One of the highlights of AFLV was getting to see Kelly and Becca speak. They talk about what it was like for Kelly in college, when she was drugged and raped by someone she was seeing at the time. Becca, her longtime friend, was her rock as they attempted to figure out what happened. Together, they use a nightmare of an experience to educate and enlighten students on what they can do to minimize the risks of sexual assault. Basically, these girls rock it. When the four of us hang out, Kelly and I joke about being “the victim half” of our respective speaking duos.
It’s all in good fun, of course. Lots of winks and nudges. The best thing about being a speaker is that you meet other speakers- and it’s very cool to have friends that are also inspiring and- dare I say it- heroes.
Before AFLV, Gwenn and I were able to spend a couple of days in Los Angeles, where I got to say a temporary goodbye to another one of my favorite speaker friends, Ross Szabo. He speaks about mental health and what he went through as a teenager and young adult. His mission is to get people to recognize the glitches in their mental armor the same way they’d respond to a flesh wound; he’s very effective. When we met through public speaking several years ago, Ross and I respected each others work but quickly developed a bowling feud…
I’d never met someone who’d challenged my lane supremacy the way Ross has. For five years, we traded victories and defeats on lanes that stretch symbolically from California to Virginia. So when I was in LA, I went to Venice to say goodbye as Ross and his wife head, Heidi, were prepping to head to Botswana for the Peace Corps for two years. We decided it was best to set our sporting feud aside, live our lives, then get back to it upon his return.
As you can see, the competitive spirits were still burning, each athlete trying to get a psychological edge, the way boxers do by going nose-to-nose at the pre-fight weigh-in. I’ll miss ya, Ross.
Positively Yours,
Shawn
What happens when Shawn and Gwenn get to Boston? Wait- they had more adventures in Los Angeles, met more cool people? Holy smokes! Stay tuned for pt. 2 of this two-part blog entry!
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A Nice Fit For National Condom Week
February 19, 2010
A recent, small study at the University of Kentucky examined why some don’t enjoy condoms- the main reason? They don’t fit right. That’s according to the 400 young men who’d recently used (or attempted to use) condoms for penile-vaginal intercourse.
Read the report on Poz.com here.
With this week being National Condom Week, this report is quite timely. Finding the right partner can take some time- we all know that. But we never really acknowledge that finding the right condom takes patience as well. I’m sure a lot of young and older folks alike who are just engaging in sexual activity are probably turned off by a not-so-satisfying first-time condom experience. Particularly if the condom slips off, or tears because it is ill-fitted and/ or lubrication wasn’t used. That’s like going out for drinks, only to find out on the drive home that your designated driver is thoroughly shitfaced.
So how do we prevent this scenario from happening?
Well, why not bring more than one condom to the dance when you are first giving it go? Make finding the right condom for you and your partner an event, like a Price Is Right game that takes place behind a closed-door that the studio audience isn’t even aware of. That’s way hotter than Plinko, even when someone leans way over the board before dropping the disc down. Whatever mental image makes the idea of finding the right condom exciting for you is the key, and anything’s better than letting someone lose faith in the condom, or not discuss their disappointment or be too embarrassed to explore why it didn’t feel just right.
Thankfully, I found my favorite condom companion a long-time ago. Gwenn and I have tried others along the way, but I always go back to what’s worked best for me. (Lifestyles Ultra Sensitive in the gray box.) And, ya know, something better may come along as it has throughout the vast history of protecting one’s little fellow. So trying a different condom- safely- is a good idea, too. Because missing out on a more pleasurable upgrade would be, well… just click the Play button below.
Positively Yours,
Shawn
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Back Home
February 17, 2010
Gwenn and I managed to avoid Snowpacolypse and get to everywhere we needed to last week, flying from Virginia to California, St. Louis and then Boston before getting back home today. We really lucked out, avoiding snow that came before and after we left home and getting out of St. Louis and Boston just as the flakes began to fall.
The week was insanely fun. Probably my favorite speaking trip ever- definitely in recent memory. Over the last eight days, Gwenn and I spoke three times- once at CSUSM and then at two conferences, the The AFLV Central Fraternal Leadership Conference/National Black Greek Leadership Conference in St. Louis followed by the NACA (National Association for Campus Activities) National conference in Boston, where we were showcasing. We had a little downtime in Los Angeles, which was nice.
The whole week was just very cool. At the two conferences, we got to meet the staff of our new speaking bureau, The College Agency, who helped us get in front of over 1,000 college students this week, all of whom were very receptive to how Gwenn and I present the issues of HIV prevention and sexual health. I love sharing my story- and the intimate details of my love life- as a means to get people to see that us positoids can have healthy relationships and that everyone needs to take their sexual health more seriously.
I’ll write more about the last week soon… and the characters I encountered. And how I had to throw away my first iced mocha because, yes, it was that bad. But for now, I’m back home as of this afternoon. And I have just fried my brain on 7 straight hours of TiVo, including but not limited to Monday Night Raw, The Soup, Infomania, Toddlers & Tiaras, The Rotten Tomatoes Show and the Winter Olympics, where Snowboard Cross may have edged out Curling as my favorite winter sport.
This was a week to remember, but there’s also nothing like your own bed, which I am going to get reacquainted with now.
Positively Yours,
Shawn
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California State University San Marcos
February 12, 2010
Remember how I got sick and had to miss our World AIDS Day talk last December? It’s okay if you don’t. Well, on Tuesday night we made up that failed date, speaking at Cal State University San Marcos to recognize National Condom Day. We got out of Virginia just before another snowstorm hit, driving to the Richmond airport at 2 am in the morning… hardcore!
After a cross country flight and two-hour drive, we had a nice long nap in the hotel before heading a few short blocks down the street to the school. Unfortunately, we’d brought heavy rainfall to San Marcos- which stunk because it definitely kept some students from coming to our talk since it’s a commuter school. Still, I was more than happy with the turnout, and was deeply impressed by the great set-up, which included enough lube to keep King Kong satisfied and tons of information in the form of handouts and detailed charts about condom usage.
Cathy, pictured at the far bottom left of the above photo, is the health educator on campus who was so great in rescheduling the talk. Turns out she not only has a passion for sex education; she’s also a handbag aficionado. Check out this video I shot for her web site, leatherandbags.com, featuring Gwenn. (We were at Pizza Nova after the talk, goofing off.)
Positively Yours,
Shawn
Check out my Decker’s Daily coffee blog, it’s much easier to update on the
road. There you can see some friendly faces that Gwenn and I have
encountered during this busy week! Also, join our Facebook Page. You know you wanna.
Shawn on:
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SnOMG Super Black AIDS Bowl Weekend
February 8, 2010
The weekend was so packed with snow and events that I didn’t have time to load the rest of my iMovie trailers from seven odd years ago. So you’ll have to wait for Alien Pen and Rusty the Vampire Deer Hunter…
One thing I didn’t have to wait long on was for the roads to get plowed. Gwenn and I did the smart thing by shoveling our driveway a few times as the 15 inches of snow fell over the course of two days, which made things easier when we made our escape from home today for some coffee. I’d set my alarm for early on Friday, as the snow began to fall, but all of our friends were either doing yoga, taking advantage of sleeping or not answering my frantic text.
This year, the playoffs for the Super Bowl embarrassed me- I’d predicted the Jets and the Vikings to make it to the big game. My vision was that the Jets would win the coin toss to see who would receive the football first, and then Brett Favre was going to stun the world by removing his Vikings jersey, revealing his Jets one from the previous year and taking the Jets to a Super Bowl win.
I know, “Shawn, that sounds like Vince McMahon’s failed XFL.”
To redeem myself, I predicted the favored Colts to beat the inspirational Saints, 27-17. I think I pick that same score every year like it’s a lottery number made up of the birth dates of my dead grandparents. Of course, the Saints humiliated me with a 31-17 victory… but hey, at least I got the 17 right, right?
Yesterday wasn’t just the biggest TV event in American culture. It was also National Black HIV/AIDS Awareness Day. I’ll let the official web site of NBHAAD tell the tale of why this designation is a necessity:
“When it comes to HIV/AIDS, the famous saying of when White America has a cold - Black America has the flu rings
true when it comes to this disease as well. Every year in the United
States, since the epidemic began in 1981, Blacks have been
disproportionately affected by HIV/AIDS.“
Every year since 2001, I believe, there has been an observance of Black AIDS Day on February 7. This year, unfortunately, an already overlooked crisis in this country just so happened to fall on one of the most celebrated occasions in American culture. And even if President Obama made an eloquent, tear-jerking speech about the toll AIDS has taken in the community, and the AIDS is one of the leading causes of death in the First Lady’s age group, some reporter would have asked him his Super Bowl prediction at the end of the touching speech and that would have been the 12 seconds looped ad nauseum on Headline News.
It’s the country we live- it’s a beautiful place but the truth hurts. Hell, I’m living with AIDS and I feel apathetic a lot of the time, and get burnt out on having to talk and write about it. And AIDS, in any community regardless of ethnicity, isn’t something that is freely spoken about. Would moving this year’s observance to a non-Super Bowl day had made any difference? I’m not sure. But it wouldn’t have hurt…
Unlike the truth.
Positively Yours,
Shawn
This week Gwenn and I will be traveling a bit, speaking at the National Association for Campus Activities conference in Boston as well as in St. Louis at the Association of Fraternal Leadership & Values. I’ll be tweeting from the road!
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