A Weekend of “RedempShawn”
June 27, 2009
It’s been a full week since I got sick. Have I been to the doctor? No, but don’t worry, this isn’t a Perez Hilton situation. “God, I’m bleeding! I should call the police!” I have a viral infection, not bacterial, which means the only thing I’d get at the hospital would be a bill. (Contacted doc via email, he concurred on my viral suspicions.)
My friends get worried when I go down for the count like this. But I just got labs done, and all my numbers are great. T-cells are steady in the high 500’s, VL is detectable but under 48 copies. It’s just a bug. The real tragedy here is that I missed going to Roanoke for Gwenn and I’s annual Miss Virginia trip. We’ve been there every year since 1999, when I made it there to see Gwenn compete despite really being sick with close to 100 t-cells. This year a contestant, Chinah Helmandollar, is doing the comedic monologue similar to the one Gwenn did when she competed in 1999. Gwenn is now officially a pageant legend!
But wait, that’s not to say I haven’t carved out my own niche in the last decade. I hosted a pageant last fall, and judged a pageant where two girls were crowned. If either of them win tonight, I plan on collecting royalties. At the very least, I’ll solicit a discreet donation to Decker’s Daily Coffee. Aside from those contributions to pageantdom, my real mark has been my uncanny ability to predict the top finishers…
Every year, I make a poster that I unveil before preliminary competitions in Roanoke. Since I wasn’t able to be there this week, I emailed it to our pageant buddies. And now, for the first time, unless I’ve already done this and forgot, I am unveiling my prediction here!
(The reference on the poster to last year’s “misstep” is that neither of my two picks in 2008 made the Top 5. Probably the most embarrassing moment of my life.)
But this weekend is all about returning to my rightful glory. Not only are these two ladies going to finish at the top, my 2008 Person of the Year, Mike the Miz, has been getting a lot of heat in the WWE. Tomorrow he is wrestling the company’s biggest star, John Cena, at the Bash, a pay-per-view I am not getting because I am so confidant in a dominant Miz victory.
Nothing will help me get over this cough like a little redemption- er, redempshawn. So go get ‘em, tigers. You, too, can watch the Miss Virginia pageant, live and streaming at 9 PM EST. (The ladies pictured on the poster, by the way, are Caressa Cameron and Caitlin Uze, respectively.)
As the Miz would say, tune in, because it’s going to be AWESOME.
Positively Yours,
Shawn
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See my band play in Charlottesville on July 11!
Today was National HIV Testing Day. Know your status and, positoid or negatoid, be healthy!
Happy Father’s Day
June 21, 2009
Thank you, Dad. For giving me the athletic genetics that offset hemophilia, thus giving me the ability to crush my opponents. Here’s a pic of my father in the 1970’s, doing damage on the bowling lanes.
My dad is a pretty humble guy. What’s funny about inheriting his sporting abilities is that I also inherited my mom’s competitive nature. It really makes me kind of a supernova of sorts, not content with just an 8-ball team championship or a putt putt title. I blogged about representing everyone living with HIV when I compete but, in my own way, I also honor my parents every time I crush an adversary.
Honestly, I’ve been very lucky in the parent department. I love my parents more than I can express here in words. They’ve fought for me, taught me how to treat others with respect and never settled for any toolish behavior on my part. I am who I am today because of all those lessons.
So, Happy Father’s Day to all the cool dads out there, including mine. I love ya, Dad.
Positively Yours,
Shawn
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Decker’s Daily Coffee
April 13, 2009
HIV medications get a lot of credit for my current health, which is good. They deserve it for pulling me out of the shit basket a decade ago, when I was really sick… but you know what really keeps me going now?
Iced mochas.
Just about every day I find a way to get my thinblooded hands wrapped around a tall glass of godliness. And, like the hand that clasps that iced sugar rush and brings it towards my trembling lips, I can’t imagine my life without the drink. They are so good. I can’t stand it. But lately, in these harsh economic times, I’ve been thinking: “These are really starting to add up.”
That’s where you come in.
I’ve spoken and written about my personal life for so long, but I’ve always kept one thing private: the extent of my love for coffee drinks. On Decker’s Daily Coffee, I am going to post a picture every day that I make sweet love- er, drink- a coffee drink.
And not only am I inviting you into this world, I am also offering you the distinct honor of treating me to a drink.
Yes, it’s that easy! You can even pimp something if you’d like, just keep it down to a sentence and one link. Who will see your name in the bright lights? Me- and I’ll be very thankful. Want to remain anonymous? That’s cool too. Okay, okay, I know what you’re thinking.
“But Shawn, would you buy me a coffee drink?”
The answer is no.
“Why?”
Because… I have AIDS. HIV meds are expensive.
“What?!”
Are you not sponsoring me because I have AIDS?
“I have AIDS too!”
Oh.
So maybe I don’t know what you are thinking.
And I’m sure there are many other variations of that conversation I could walk through. Just know that I understand the ethical violations this solicitation presents. I did a lot of soul searching before coming to the decision to launch Decker’s Daily Coffee because, until recently, a Depression was just something I slept through in 5th grade history class.
But now it’s real. And I gotta hustle. Because I gotta have my coffee.
Positively Yours,
Shawn
Share the Blog. Not the Virus. Sean Strub, Cable Positive and OMG Rachel Maddow
April 7, 2009
Back in November, I wrote about how President Obama should appoint Poz founder, Sean Strub, as the new White House AIDS Czar because an intelligent and thoughtful positoid in that position would be incredible.
Well, the administration didn’t follow my advice, and Cable Positive has taken advantage and snatched up Sean Strub as their new CEO. So what is Cable Positive?
They are an organization that keeps HIV/AIDS awareness on the airwaves, and have been doing so since 1992 when many in the cable industry noticed the impact of what AIDS was doing to their colleagues and friends. Realizing the potential they had to raise awareness via programming and PSAs, Cable Positive sprung into action. Learn more at their website.
Reducing stigma for those already infected is also a goal for Cable Positive, which makes Sean a natural pick. When I found out he was being unveiled in DC at the Cable Show ‘09 conference, I journeyed to the event. Heavyhitters such as Larry Flynt strolled by in a gold-plated wheelchair and guys in Storm Trooper costumes told (commanded at gun point?) me to write about the new animated Star Wars show on my Facebook page.
Rumor had it that Batista from the WWE was there, too.
But the real heavyweight was Rachel Maddow, who was emcee’ing the Power Awards at the Cable Positive booth. Here’s a clip of Rachel at the conference, speaking about how HIV/AIDS has influenced her life, starting at the 3 minute mark.
Yes, I dig the glasses. No, I didn’t record this myself.
Gwenn and I have been fans of Rachel’s ever since seeing her on Al Franken’s Air America show years ago. The big thrill, of course, was being there to support the guy who basically started my writing career by giving my Positoid column a greenlight back in 1997. Meeting Rachel? That was just an added opportunity to make an ass of myself by fawning over her…
So imagine my shock when- as Sean was introducing us- Rachel said she knew who I was?
“I’ve been reading about your love life for years!”
I wasn’t prepared to be humble. Not in any way. And throwing the inner-switch from Fawning Jackass to Humble Writer/Educator was a seven notch swing, but I managed to perform the task with as much grace and poise as I could muster.
“Yer on TV!” I shouted, all buck-toothed and pointing. (Okay, that didn’t happen, thankfully.)
As mutual fawning ensued, Sean Strub proudly smiled on as I was once again reminded of just how small the HIV/AIDS universe is. Not since I slept in Sean Sasser’s pajamas had I been shown such an obvious example of that. And Rachel’s own involvement in raising awareness about HIV/AIDS isn’t surprising- one of the reasons why I like her work so much is because she is very open-minded and compassionate.
Just like the new CEO of Cable Positive.
Positively Yours,
Shawn
PS… hats off to Larry Flynt for stopping by the Cable Positive booth and shooting a PSA for HIV/AIDS awareness. He’s got a gold heart to match those gold wheels. Once “Larry the Cable Positive Guy” is on YouTube, I’ll post it on the blog.
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Must Watch TV: Pedro on MTV
March 30, 2009
MTV to Air Biopic on Pedro Zamora
I was excited to read in Poz Magazine about a made-for-TV movie about Pedro Zamora, entitled “Pedro”, which will air at 8 pm this Wednesday. In case you’re not familiar, Pedro was the HIV-positive young man who appeared on MTV’s Real World San Francisco in 1994.
He’s someone I’ll never forget.
At the time that he was on the show, I’d just graduated from high school and had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. I never thought that I’d share my personal experiences with HIV with my peers, or use any of the medical realities I’d encountered as a means to educate others.
Pedro changed all of that.
Today, I’m very outspoken about my status, but in 1994? No way. Yet, I was so interested in Pedro’s life. I loved that he was on there doing his thing. It planted a seed in my mind that took another two years to grow.
I was deeply saddened in the fall of 1994 when Pedro
passed to spirit, just months after I got to “know him” through the show. A year and a half later, I was still unsure as to what my future held. I started to feel like I was going to survive HIV, yet the fear of having to fill an entire life with purpose of any sort was paralyzing.
At 20, during a Real World Reunion special, I was moved when Pedro’s roommate, Judd Winick, called on audience members to honor Pedro’s spirit. “Do something,” he said, not once but twice, choking up with emotion.
The words hit me like a ton of bricks. I was reminded of Pedro’s impact, thanks to someone who really did get to know him, Judd.
A couple of months later I launched my first web site, My Pet Virus, and never looked back. If you remember Pedro Zamora with the same fondness that I do, be sure to tune in to MTV this Wednesday at 8 pm (EST).
Also, do yourself a favor and order Judd Winick’s comic-style homage to his friend, “Pedro & Me”. It’s as touching a tribute as you’ll ever read. Have your crying hanky on hand. And remember, if you’re ever thinking you don’t fit in or don’t matter, just think real hard… surround yourself with people who love you.
And then do something. Funny story about my encounter with Pedro’s volatile Real World roommate, Puck, in the next blog.
Positively Yours,
Shawn
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Still taking questions for the My Pet Virus web site. Please email me some more!
If you want to read a Poz column I wrote in 2001 about Pedro, and my own attempts to weasel my way onto The Real World to carry his positoid torch, click here.
Catching Up With Color Theory
March 22, 2009
I don’t spend too much time on MySpace these days. Seems to be either a haven for call girls or bad bands. But recently I got an Add Request from the very cool synth project of Brian Hazard, who goes by Color Theory.
There’s an interesting tie-in to my favorite band, Depeche Mode. Back when Napster ruled the internet, fans of Depeche Mode mistakenly thought that one of Color Theory’s originals was a leaked Mode song. (Brian’s vocal style is reminiscent of Martin Gore of Depeche Mode.) And while Color Theory’s covers of Mode songs are impeccable, the originals more than hold their own, as evidenced by the recent win for Best Electronic Song in the John Lennon Songwriting Contest.
Now Color Theory is up for another award. I sat down at my computer recently and emailed Brian some questions. He sat down at his in California and emailed me some answers. Enjoy!
Positively Yours,
Shawn
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Q: Firstly, I love that you cover the lesser known Depeche Mode songs, like “Here Is The House”. When did you first hear the music of the greatest band of all time?
It was back in 1983, before I really started getting into music. I had a grand total of one cassette: The Eagles “Hotel California.” My best friend played me Some Great Reward, and I was hooked. I typed out the lyrics to “Somebody” on his typewriter and hid them in my room like a love letter.
Ah, lyrics from “Somebody” are on the inside of my wedding ring. Favorite Mode album?
In my opinion, Violator is their all-around best, but Ultra, which doesn’t get a whole lot of love from DM fans, is the best produced. The one that had the most impact on me is arguably their worst: A Broken Frame. I’d listen to it over and over, and fall asleep to it every night. If I wasn’t completely out before “Shouldn’t Have Done That” came on, I’d have nightmares… that song still creeps me out!
Definitely their creepiest work. What was the inspiration behind your Lennon Contest-winner, “If It’s My Time To Go”?
The song started as a collaboration with my friend Caesar Filori of Wideband Network. I gave him a piano sketch, and he sent back a demo that was dense, rich, and very dark. The mood of that demo inspired the title, which I built the rest of the lyrics around. Though the subject matter is bleak, the tone is courageously optimistic.
The topic of death/loss is always a good one.
I can’t say that I’m personally that comfortable with death, but if I ever have to look it in the face, I hope I can be that clear-sighted about it. (The original mix of the song appears on Color Theory’s upcoming EP, Second Thoughts.)
I think the song is beautiful, and conveys the emotions of love and loss brilliantly. Best of luck in the next phase of voting, Brian. You’ve done your idols, Depeche Mode, very proud with Color Theory.
That’s very kind of you. Thanks for taking the time to chat with me.
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Download the song, “If It’s My Time To Go”, for free. If you’d like to vote for Color Theory in Phase 2 of the John Lennon Songwriting Contest, go to colortheory.com/. Hear Color Theory’s Depeche Mode covers here!
Cello Scrotum: 1974-2009
January 29, 2009
Scratch another one of my dream campus speaking programs- “Cello Scrotum & You”. It just came out that the condition is a hoax. Read more about Cello Scrotum and it’s magical origin on the BBC’s news site. For now, let’s all share a moment of silence for “Cello Scrotum”: 1974-2009.
“Anyone who has ever watched a cello being played
would realize the physical impossibility of our claim.”
- Baroness Murphy,
Godmother of “Cello Scrotum” and, ultimately, it’s Angel of Death
Positively Yours,
Shawn
Photos from Vegas
January 28, 2009
Finally! Pictures from the glitz and glory of Miss America! Click on any of the pictures to go to the entire photo album on Facebook.
Tara Wheeler, Miss Virginia 2008!
Tara did a great job at Miss America representing the Commonwealth. Her evening gown was the best on her preliminary night, and with her background in hockey as well her training with the Army, she could have kicked everyone’s butt at the pageant!
But she didn’t. Why? Because she’s classy: she’s Miss Virginia.
Took this picture after the final night of competition. I mentioned to Tara that one of my other favorites of the week was Miss Kansas, Emily Deaver, and she said that they were roommates (every contestant gets one) and that Kansas was as cool as she came across to the audience.
Another cool person is Tara’s mom. She gave me a big hug and told me she reads the blog… (hi! Tara did a great job!) She also said, “Tell Gwenn we haven’t forgotten about the dress she loaned Tara for Miss Virginia!”
Miss New York, Leigh-Taylor Smith!
Leigh-Taylor is another Virginia girl. In pageants, you have to win a local to go to state, then win state to compete at Miss America. What was interesting about this year was that Leigh-Taylor moved to New York, won Miss Brooklyn and then Miss New York! In Virginia, she was Miss Arlington, and when her year was over she crowned the new titleholder… Tara Wheeler!
So many people traveled to Las Vegas to cheer on both girls. It was a pretty rare opportunity for the Commonwealth to seize the crown, and rule the world of pageantry…
As it turned out, the pageant Gods selected Miss Indiana. But Tara and Leigh-Taylor did themselves and their homestate proud. LT was able to snag 3rd Runner-Up, and got $15,000 in scholarship money, which is the big difference between Donald Trump’s Miss USA (more exposure, less for the contestants- including clothing) and the Miss America Organization.
Speaking of clothing, it wouldn’t be a trip to Las Vegas without some shopping. And Gwenn snagged this Betsy Johnson sweater… was it for the fashion, or was this a sign to all the ladies of the night swirling around her man in Vegas? Or a none-too-subtle sign to Miss Virginia that she wants that dress back?
Positively Yours,
Shawn
My 2008 Person of the Year
January 13, 2009
It’s a little late, but unlike others, I take this Person of the Year stuff seriously. I don’t rush the decision in the waning days of 2008 to get airtime or press like everyone else.
No, while they are out cosmic bowling and partying, looking ahead to 2009, I’m crunching numbers, trying to figure out who had the biggest impact of 2008. Who came from little-to-no expectations and then shocked an unexpecting world?
Of course, Michael Phelps dominated sports, setting an Olympic record for most medals won. But take him out of the pool and his credentials start to get a little soggy. Barack Obama battled Hilary Clinton, then a triple threat match against McCain, Palin and Joe the Plumber.
Still, he was a state senator. It wasn’t a shock this time around that a senator would take the White House, since he and McCain were both senators.
That only leaves one person. My pick for 2008’s Person of the Year: Mike “The Miz”!
The former Real World star (talk about overcoming adversity) could have kept himself going with paid appearances at Miami/Vegas bar openings and Real World/Road Rules challenges. But no, he wasn’t content with that. He pursued his dream to be a professional wrestler, joining World Wrestling Entertainment.
Not only did he win the WWE Tag Team Championship with his partner, John Morrison, he also took the WWE’s coveted Slammy Award for Best Tag Team, a nod to his work with Morrison, who would overshadow most tag team partners.
Not the Miz. In 2008 no one, in or out of the ring, could compare.
I was leaning towards The Miz before the Slammys, but after he snagged the award I thought I’d look pretty damn stupid overlooking him here. Plus, he’s already having a Hulkamania-esque effect on young kids, who are idolizing him. Check this out.
More children will grow up to be wrestlers than presidents, too.
So there you have it, my Person of the Year for 2008, Mike The Miz. Here’s to hoping he defends not only his tag team title, but his title as my Person of the Year as well.
Positively Yours,
Shawn
P.S. Several friends visited me over the weekend and surprised me with a Rickrolling intervention. I promised them, as I promise you now: no more Rickrolling. I know I have a lot of trust left to earn, but it’s early in the year and I only need to look to my pick for 2008 Person of the Year for inspiration.
“Wii Fit as Long as I Live” music video
December 31, 2008
Got this on a Comment, and it couldn’t have come at a more critical time. Enjoy, it’s “Wii Fit as Long as I Live” by the Wicked Celtics.
Wii karma caught up with me. Tonight I bumbled on a balance exercise (Walk in place, but walk normally- what?!), and almost walked sideways off the board since I don’t normally walk in place. Well, the Wii Gods punished me good: my Wii Fit Age is 49!
I doubted my Mii. But this song reminded me what it’s all about.
Positively Yours,
Shawn
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