(b)Lab Results and Killer Books
November 20, 2009
A couple of weeks ago I went in for my every-four month labs to see what’s cookin’ with my pet virus. Good news: my t-cells are 511 (28%) and the viral load was less than 48 copies, which is near nothing. That’s pretty much the same as they were in June, and have been in the ballpark for the last couple of years.
As has been chronicled, I do a week on HIV meds, followed by a week off. These labs were taken after 6 days off meds. With the success I’ve had keeping my numbers stable, I broached the topic of trying one week on, two weeks off meds.. but Dr. Greg wasn’t too keen on it, thinking that two weeks would be too much time for the virus to cause trouble. He said he wasn’t too worried about the short-term effects, but was thinking that down the line it could present other problems in my body.
I relented quickly, because I respect my doctor for going along with the plan that has worked like a charm. And he’s the one who reads every boring article that comes out about the intricacies of this virus.
My reason for wanting a longer break has been absent-mindedness and lethargy. Recent articles on how HIV can affect the brain and memory haven’t set me at ease, either. I don’t write much about my worries about living with HIV, but I can say that losing my wits is right up there at the top. And it’s especially frustrating on the days when things just aren’t clicking in the old nugget; like when I wake up feeling exhausted instead of rested or, in the middle of a shower, I wonder if I’ve already washed my hair or not.
This tends to happen after a couple of days on meds. But I do wonder whether I pin everything on the medications, because laying blame on the virus is too damn scary a thought.
If I haven’t been blogging much, it’s because because my terd brain is liking the Twitter format: in and out, done in less than 140 characters. I’ve been working on my second book. Printing it out and realizing it wasn’t quite up to par has made me doubt myself and my ability to focus and tell a story that’s 70,000 words as well, another reason why the two weeks off fantasy materialized. Also, 70,000 words is a substantial amount of characters… way more than Twitter allows. If I don’t get the book where I want it, maybe I’ll just release the damn thing for free on Twitter as a 500-part series?
The inner battle to continue my writing career has been fueled by the literary (sales) success of Carrie Prejean and Sarah Palin, both of whom outsold my cult classic memoir, My Pet Virus, in a matter of minutes. Palin’s book even offed Rachel Maddow, one of my favorite TV politicos.
See, I plan to outsell both Prejean and Palin together, but it’s going to take a lot of books to do it… and that’s why I’m sticking with one week on, one week off meds schedule that has worked for me. Writing isn’t fruitful at the moment, so I’m setting the book aside until the new year. There’s World AIDS Day/Week to focus on, which is taking me and Gwenn to five different states in five days. And then there’s the holidays soon after.. but when the dust settles, I will write again.
In the meantime, I will sleep with one eye open, looking out for that damn Going Rogue book of Palin’s. If you want to live to see 2010, I’d suggest that you do the same.
Positively Yours,
Shawn
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Read My Column in Poz, Cute YouTube Video
July 2, 2009
The best part about being sick for a week was writing. I blogged every day last week! So, really, if your reading this and wishing me well, you might have to decide whether your care for my well-being as a human trumps your love for my incredibly witty style of writing.
Which is on display in this month’s issue of Poz!
I wrote a column called “Maybe Baby”, about the oft-asked procreation question, specifically whether Gwenn and I are interested. And no, that’s not our baby in the photo, but it is our Goddaughter, Evie. She’s guest-starred on Decker’s Daily many times, most notably in Episode 38 as my would-be assassin, after debuting a few days earlier in Episode 34.
Aside from me, she’s logged the most Decker’s Daily appearances. Which is fitting, because when our good friend Lauren was pregnant with her, we spent most of the pregnancy in coffee shops. When she was born, we were at the hospital, and have seen her explore babyhood and life on this planet for the last 9 months.
As for exploration of other planets, well…
Lauren just had a birthday, and as you’ve seen before, I have a knack for making cool YouTube cute baby vids. My first work, When Babies Have Babies, feature my niece, Katelyn. Then last Christmas, my second niece, Helayna, debuted in the sorta sequel, When Babies Save Christmas.
Inspired by those earlier works, I made this for Lauren, changing a Happy Birthday text to a plug for Lauren’s music, which I love. So, without further ado, here’s Interplanetary Travelers, starring Evie and Lauren Hoffman. Enjoy the ride!
Positively Yours,
Captain Shawn
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She the band in a YouTube video with the song “Holding Out For a Hero”
Book #2 Finished… Now What?
May 29, 2009
It’s been a little over a year and a half of the most nonstop writing of my life. But Book #2, the vampire book, is finally finished as of 2 AM Wednesday morning. To mark the occasion, this was my Decker’s Daily photo the next afternoon.
That’s straw paper in my mouth. It wasn’t until after the photo was snapped that I figured out that vampires holding iced mochas are not scary, no matter how rock solid their body is with well-defined muscle.
I forced myself to stop blogging about writing the book, but now that I’m done I’m lifting the ban. I’ve been irregular in blogging the last two weeks because I was really cracking down on finishing the book- a humorous tale of vampirism, set in a small town, centered around a group of incoming freshmen.
Yes, HIV is involved. It’s my specialty!
The book was a joy to write. I discovered my addiction to iced mochas through this ordeal. But, at this moment, I am relieved that it is out of my hands. Right now, my lit agent is going to look over it and then we’ll submit it to the publisher. When I get any word on it, I’ll definitely blog it.
So… with colleges out of session and no more high school talks… how does a positoid fill his day? Of course, I’ll keep drinking iced mochas, and Gwenn will keep snapping Decker’s Daily photos, which are being called “Iconic Imagery!”, “Daring Pictures!” and “Bravery in the Face of Mochas!” by no one. What’s cool about the joke of Decker’s Daily is that I got some sponsors (Thank you again!), and one of them actually led to one of the discussions I had last week with an incredible Gay/Straight Alliance formed at a nearby high school. It’s very cool the random ways in which we meet people, isn’t it?
With book #2 complete, finding a creative outlet didn’t take long. Tonight I had band practice with Synthetic Division. “Wait,” you say. “Can you really call a synth duo getting together with an iPod band practice?” Yes, you can! But you don’t think so, how about a synth trio? With a drummer?
A human drummer!
That’s Marshall on keyboards. He joined me when my bandmate left in 2007, within a month of the end of his previous band, In Tenebris. That’s Mike Johnson on drums, he was in In Tenebris with Marshall, so they immediately locked it down without any problems.
Now, if Christina- the former singer of In Tenebris- shows up at practice next time, I’ll know that I’ve been kicked out of Synthetic Division. The victim of a non-violent (hopefully) takeover from the inside. But really, adding drums and a friend to the band is going to make things a lot more fun.
I’ll be posting more about our first Charlottesville show in July next week and, as I wait for a word on the book, I’ll be turning to music for artistic solace.
Positively Yours,
Shawn
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Positoid.com
April 10, 2009
Check out Positoid.com to learn about the word, “positoid”, and read some of the first columns I wrote for Poz magazine.
My Column in New Issue of Poz
February 19, 2009
I have a new column in the latest issue of Poz Magazine, you can read it here: “Week On, Week Off”. It’s about the ups and one big down of my last seven years on my Structured Treatment Interruption.
Hope you enjoy reading it- I am especially proud of all of the Karate Kid references and am honored to be included in an issue that focuses on what we as positoids can do to improve our health.
Positively Yours,
Shawn
Update on 2nd Book
January 16, 2009
I sent the file for my 2nd book to my agent today, and couldn’t be more relieved to be done. For now.
Of course, I’ve declared victory before. You may remember that back in June I wrote a blog entitled New Book “Finished”. Thankfully, I had the intelligence to put the word “finished” in quotation marks. I wasn’t finished- I sent the book to my agent, then wrote him back later telling him not to read it.
Then I had a deadline set for November, but when I spent most of the month sick, the deadline got bumped until after Christmas because I didn’t want to screw up the book by writing when I was under the weather.
But now, I let out a huge sigh of relief. The vampire story is where it needs to be, and if my agent approves, he’ll submit it to the publisher. If he doesn’t approve, I’ll take his suggestions into account. (My agent, thankfully, is a “horror guy” with a killer sense of humor whose opinion I trust.)
Gwenn proofread the book this week and caught some grammatical errors while jotting down some notes. I was expecting more ink on it, so it was a pleasant surprise that I didn’t have a ton of corrections to make. Of course, in publishing there are no guarantees. But one way or another, this book will see the light of day. And I hope- when the time comes- you’ll be enjoy sinking your teeth into it.
Positively Yours,
Shawn
Not the Follow-Up to My Pet Virus
January 6, 2009
For a brief moment, I considered writing more funny AIDS stories for my second literary venture. With My Pet Virus’ sales gasping at this point, I’m glad I opted to focus my creative energy elsewhere.
Don’t get me wrong, the book did well. The response has been incredible, I still get messages from high school students who have done a book report on MPV, people whose families dealt with the hemophilia/HIV one-two punch, and just people who like Depeche Mode, Ric Flair, and a twisted sense of humor.
And I’m still waiting for recognition from the scientific community for my work in My Pet Virus, the chief accomplishment being the discovery of RDS (Restless Dick Syndrome), which affects 100% of men.
But I regress. I’m fang-deep into the vampire book, and am happy that I challenged myself to write fiction, and am hoping to have some news in the near future about details. Hell, if it doesn’t get picked up, look for a really long blog entry called, “Shawn’s Second Book”.
In the meantime, Gwenn pointed out a not-so-funny AIDS book that came up on our google alert. It’s called “How I Became Mr. HIV”. It’s not an inspiring tale about an all-male pageant in which all the money from the event goes to orphans of the AIDS epidemic. It’s about a man who becomes infected and goes on a rampage to infect as many people as possible.
Here’s an excerpt from the press release, linked above if you want more:
“In a world where women and girls are viewed as sex objects by male predators. “And women are taught tricks of the trade, to entice men by reason of appearance.” This is a must-read if you are interested in warning or saving your children. Imagine being infected with the HIV virus. The cause of AIDS, but instead of seeking treatment, you sought revenge upon every soul that was not infected. Learn the incredible story of one such person. John Turner lashed out at humanity because of his affliction. This is the person your parents should have warned you about.”
Gee, and I had to find out about this after Christmas? Would have been on the top of my (shit) list.
Anyway, my apologies to the author if this comes up in your Google Alert. You probably worked real hard on this, but, seriously, some of us are trying to present positoids as actual human beings, and not as monsters. If you want to write about monsters, I suggest vampires. They’re pretty hot these days.
Positively Yours,
Shawn
Advice From Stewie
January 4, 2009
There’s the Miis of me and Gwenn. So far so good in 2009, I’ve worked out on the Wii Fit everyday this year, and my reward is that I’ve gained a pound. I like to think it’s a pound of rock hard muscle that, for now, is invisible to the naked eye.
Aside from the menage a trois love affair with the Wii Fit, I have also been working away at the second book. The deadestline is two weeks from today, just before Inauguration Day. We’ll be heading out of town for a week- a vacation that doesn’t involve speaking about having AIDS- so I have to finish before we depart.
Oh, and here’s what a friend sent me for inspiration, courtesy of The Family Guy. So true.
The link will take you to YouTube.com, so don’t freak when your browser takes a journey.
Positively Yours,
Shawn
Vampires
November 10, 2008
I said I wouldn’t write about writing again. I lied.
Currently, I am finishing my second book, which is a vampire story. I’ve touched on this a little, not giving too many details, as not to spoil the book or get anyone excited before I even have a greenlight on getting it published.
I can say, as I close in on another self-imposed deadline, that I am very happy with how it is going. It’s my first attempt at writing fiction, and I’ve drawn inspiration from my own experiences as a teenager, as well as things that have clicked for me in the genre. If you want a taste of the vibe, watch “Fright Night”, one of my favorite vampire movies.
Lately, I’ve been hearing a lot about Twilight, the most popular of the recent vampire books. The first movie is hitting theatres on November 21, the date of my deadline. I can’t say whether or not my book will be anything like that, since I haven’t read any of the Twilight series. (My sister-in-law loves it, but I’ve heard some haters voice their opinions as well.)
Here’s the trailer for that movie:
So why November 21st for a deadline? Because Thanksgiving soon follows, as does World AIDS Day, which is on December 1st. Every year, that means a lot of traveling for me and Gwenn, then it’s home for the Christmas rush. Basically, when I go to sleep on November 21, I’m going to find myself waking up on January 2, 2009. Quite possibly with a hangover.
And I don’t want my new year’s resolution to be to finish the book.
Am I exploiting my ties to the thinblooded community by writing a vampire book? Absolutely. Am I hoping to have this sucker published before the film versions of the Twilight series suck the life out of the genre for another decade or so?
You betcha.
Positively Yours,
Shawn
This Positoid’s Life (September-October 2008)
October 22, 2008
I’ve been writin’ a lot of blogs with no pictures and my camera has been screaming for attention. So here’s the last couple of weeks of This Positoid’s Life, with nifty captions. Enjoy!
Saturday, September 27: Bruce gets married! Bruce is a good friend and merch man for Bella Morte (here, from left, Gopal former and founding member, Andy, Bruce, Micah and Tony).
Bruce and Eliza go on their honeymoon, so Gwenn steps in to do merch for Bella Morte’s CD release party the following weekend. Fun fact: Gwenn manages the band, but sleeps with the lead singer of…
Synthetic Division opens the show for the Bella Morte CD release party! (That’s me and Marshall Camden, who is not smoking in this pic.)
I snapped this photo from stage while singing a cover of “Photographic” by Depeche Mode. Get it? That’s two members of Silent Muse, who will be playing with Bella in December.
We have fans, check out the shirt! That’s me and Sharley, who rocks.
Andy Deane resteals his thunder with Bella Morte- CD release party is a success!
A couple days later, it was off to Beaumont, Texas, for the Triangle AIDS Network conference on HIV. I spoke solo last year, but this year Gwenn and I went together to speak about being in a sero-discordant relationship.
What was interesting about this year was that Hurricane Ike had ravaged the community about a month before the conference. There were blue tarps on roofs that were waiting to be fixed, and rain water caused more flooding the night before we flew back home.
And speaking of home, another speaker, Tom Donahue of Who’s Positive, was at the conference, too. He dropped me a line quite a few years ago, just after he tested positive. Well, turns out he’s been living in Charlottesville for a year, and the first time we met in person was in- you got- Texas.
Here he is with a new camera, which he was very excited about. I think he was working for the Pozarazzi of Poz Magazine, I didn’t have the heart to tell him that photos of me don’t sell!
One of the problems brought about by Hurricane Ike as it pertained to the conference was the host hotel- they were closed longer than expected, which meant the conference needed a new home. It also meant that Gwenn and I and the rest of the speakers spent a night or two at a Catholic Retreat Center in the woods. I picked Room 13, just because I thought that was funny, given my love of Friday the 13th movies…. well, the joke was on me when I woke up that morning, and there was no power!
Everyone knows the power goes out before you bite the bullet. Fortunately, the only thing I missed as a result wasn’t a limb to a machete-wielding maniac, it was a shower.
The conference went well, and it was nice to see some new faces this year, and some familiar ones from last year’s conference.
On the way home, I posed with some cardboard cut-outs of the two respective presidential tickets, and I had a revelation…
The “Rebel Without a Cure” has been supporting these guys?
Look at McCain, he’s the only one of the four who was ballsy enough to pose for his cut-off without a big cheesy grin. That’s enough for me, consider the Rebel Without a Cure a full-fledged member of the Team of Mavericks. (I figure that, being a smartass with AIDS, my endorsement probably hurts.)
Then this past weekend, Gwenn and I spoke at the 4th Annual Conference on HIV in Maine, where my ego was stroked by quite a few people who knew me from my column in Poz. One very nice person said she’s been reading it for over ten years now… another stopped me in the hallway and apologized for gushing. I encouraged her to go on, then later she asked when Synthetic Division was going to play in Maine… hey, maybe someday Tom can sell those photos to the Pozarazzi after all?
Oh, and with all the above Gwenn found time to judge the Miss Hill City pageant in Lynchburg, Virginia, while I was at home with Andy of Bella Morte, watching Bernard Hopkins box Kelly Pavlik’s ears. If any sporting event should make cocky democrats, who believe in polling, nervous, it should be the sight of the 43-year old Hopkins dismantling the previously undefeated Kelly Pavlik.
All of this is the perfect tie-in to my column in this month’s Poz magazine. It’s about, what else, pageants. You read read “Life’s Rich Pageant” at poz.com. (For a trip down memory lane, here’s a column I wrote for Poz in 1998, “Kid Gloves”.)
If this blog seems long, well, it may be the last one until the after life. Just found out Erin Weed is coming into town today. I thought I heard her cracking her knuckles on the voicemail message.
Pray for the thinblooded maverick.
Positively Yours,
Shawn
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