Miley Cyrus & Rihanna TittyF#%k AIDS (In A Good Way)
November 3, 2014
At a recent amfAR fundraiser, Miley Cyrus and Rihanna showed up in risque and boob-revealing outfits. Which is the same thing as saying that President Obama showed up to a State of the Union address wearing a tie. Some people may have been put off- but the outfits turned heads and made headlines, thus making many fans of both artists aware that their heroes support the HIV/AIDS cause.
What’s even better than that? The fact that Miley and Rihanna’s hearts didn’t just hide behind those breasts. Anyone who was upset by their appearance were quickly silenced by the generous donations that both stars made at the event, which helped amfAR raise over $3 million.
Being a rockstar isn’t just about singing the songs, playing the shows, making the mad money or looking the part; being a rockstar is ultimately about rocking the world. And contributing money and raising awareness about the need for continued research for a cure for HIV is about as rockin’ as it gets. I’ve been living with HIV since I was 11, a time when I fell in love with Belinda Carlisle’s “Heaven on Earth” album. I want to live to see the day when HIV is cured- so myself and others can live the healthiest lives possible.
Now that’s heaven on Earth, right?
Thanks again, Miley and RiRi. Big HIV-positive hugs to you both!
THE TOWELING: A Halloween Horror Short Story
October 31, 2014
Gary lays naked on his bed in his modest NYC apartment in the East Village. The window is cracked open and a breeze comes in as he channel surfs. He shouts towards the cracked bathroom door that is several feet from the bed. “Save some hot water for me!” Gary tugs the sheet with his toes, managing to cover his knees without the use of either hand. “Don’t pretend you can’t hear me… ACE?” A loud laugh echoes from the shower. “You jackass,” Gary says as he sighs, speeding through the channels before landing on a friendly face. “Oh, Anderson- now we’re talking.”
The water stops.
“Alright Gary, it’s all yours-”
“Shhhhhhhhhh,” Gary yells out. “It’s the Coop!”
“Then pause that shit, Gary.” Ace grabs a toothbrush, squeezes some paste onto it and hurriedly begins to brush as Gary bursts into laughter. “Whash sho funny?” No answer. Just more laughing. “Paush it, Gauwee!!!” Ace spits into the sink and rushes to the bedroom, which is the living room as well. Gary manages to shift his attention from Anderson to Ace. “Sorry, you took too long, missed all the good parts.” Gary says teasingly as Ace stands beside him, dripping wet and still naked.
“Back it up- I want to see something funny.” Ace demands.
“I guess it’s only fair that we both get to see something funny right now,” Gary says, prompting Ace to suck in his stomach before making a play for control of the remote. They wrestle for it until Gary agrees to Ace’s demands. “Alright, alright, I’ll back it up, geesh… but shut up because you gotta hear this.”
Anderson Cooper throws to a clip of Pat Robertson from The 700 Club: “You might get AIDS in Kenya. The people have AIDS in Kenya. The towels could have AIDS.”
“Oh my God, he didn’t,” Ace says, stunned.
“I know, right?”
“Back it up, I gotta hear that again,” Ace says.
“Are you sure?” Gary asks with a smirk.
“Because it looks like you’re already too scared to use my AIDS towels.”
“Oh shit,” Ace says, looking down at the puddle of water at his feet. “sorry…”
Ace starts heading to the bathroom; but Gary stops him just long enough to grab a condom, wrapper and stack of tissues from the nightstand, plopping them into Ace’s hand. Gary grabs Ace’s elbow. “And don’t forget to take your prep.” “I never do,” Ace replies.
“Any side effects?”
“No- two months in and I don’t notice anything…”
“You know, Ace,” Gary begins. “I’m undetectable, we use condoms… you don’t have to-” “Shush, Gary,” Ace says. “I’m not scared and don’t mind. It’s more for the guys out there who don’t know their status, anyway, they’re the ones I’m worried about.”
“Well, you shouldn’t be worrying about them at all,” Gary says.
“Oh, ready to lock this down are we?” Ace asks.
Ace leans into Gary for a quick kiss before heading to the bathroom, where he discards the sex paraphernalia into the trash can before gazing into the mirror, shaking his head and smiling to himself. Ace flicks open the mirrored cabinet door and retrieves a prescription bottle. Before he opens it, he looks around for a towel but doesn’t see one. “Please don’t tell me you are out of clean towels,” he whispers to himself before squatting down to check the cabinets underneath the sink.
“Gary, where are the— Gary?”
As Ace emerges from the bathroom he sees Gary laying on the bed, only now he has a white towel over his face. “You goof, playing peek-a-boo with yourself?” Ace asks as he walks toward Gary. “Give me that-”
Before he can finish his sentence, the towel flies up from Gary’s face and floats above the bed. Gary’s eyes are open, but are lifeless and white. Ace stumbles back towards the bathroom, reaching behind him for the doorway as the towel floating above the bed takes on the form and physical characteristics of a bat, flapping its wings. Through the cracked window several more towels fly in and head straight for Ace, knocking him into the bathroom and sending him spiraling through the shower curtain and causing him to fall into the bathtub.
The bathroom door closes. The only sounds to be heard throughout Gary’s apartment now is the crackle of city life on the streets below and Anderson Cooper sarcastically taking Pat Roberston’s warning to task: “Overseas… everything overseas is bacteria… you just can’t even imagine. I’m starting to think that we’d be better off not traveling at all.”
I’d also like to thank Pat Robertson and Anderson Cooper for their roles. Without Pat’s imagination stories like The Toweling would not be possible.
The HIV Question on Couples Therapy
October 15, 2014
Nina and Gwenn catching up over coffee in September.
Last week I tuned into Couples Therapy on VH1 because I’d heard that Bob Bowers would be making an appearance. I’m a huge fan of the One Tough Pirate, former POZ coverboy and current HIV asskicker. Though it wasn’t the episode my beloved longtime activist friend was appearing on- HIV was a central theme, as one of the castmates revealed their HIV status publicly for the first time.
Evel Dick is no stranger to reality TV- he has appeared on Big Brother twice, winning season 8 and leaving season 13 early due to personal reasons. The personal reason being that his blood test for HIV (a requirement for Big Brother contestants) came up positive. On Couples Therapy, Dick’s girlfriend wasn’t comfortable with his wanting to come forward with his secret. I recognized his despair; he was in that undeniable moment when you can’t fathom another day trying to ignore something that is literally a part of your biology. You have to break out.
During his session with Couples Therapy’s resident therapist, Dr. Jenn, he was asked how he contracted HIV right off the bat. I wasn’t thrilled with the question, neither was Gwenn (my partner who, like Dick’s partner is HIV negative). About a week later, my good friend Nina Martinez, who has been HIV positive for most of her life, started a discussion with Evel Dick and Dr. Jenn on Twitter about the question of how HIV was contracted. Gwenn joined in and I soon followed.
So, without further ado, I’m going to pass this one on to my guest blogger, Nina, who has gone through the trouble of organizing a Twitter conversation and making it readable. There are also links to the show, and her thoughts on why the question (and answer) to “how did you contract it” was bothersome. It’s a must-read in my opinion and I really appreciate Evel Dick and Dr. Jenn’s willingness to share their perspectives with us.
This is best viewed by opening this PDF: “How You Talk and Ask About HIV Matters” by Nina Martinez (PDF) (Or click the tweets that are just a tiny sample of the conversation!)
Did you click the image? Do it… c’mon…
There ya go! Okay, now that you heard from Nina and everyone involved, I just want to end by saying that, yes, how we discuss HIV in private and in public ultimately matters. For the newly diagnosed it’s tricky territory juggling the raw emotions of testing positive with an unknown etiquette. I know, I made quite a few mistakes when my desire to speak out preceded my understanding of the various landmines on the field. Professionals, like therapists, doctors and nurses, also need to be sensitive to HIV’s social ramifications- which often overshadow the medical reality of living with the virus and is what keeps people silenced who are living with it.
I hope Dr. Jenn reads this blog entry and gets why the bluntness of the question is problematic at best and traumatic at worst for a lot of people with HIV. And I wish Dick all the best in this new phase of his life that includes living openly with HIV. I hope he and his partner really dig in, get informed on actual transmission rates for serodiscordant couples (astronomically low) and realize that their relationship can be a safe, intimate and loving one.
Ethan Zohn: Cancer and World Cup Survivor
July 10, 2014
Soccer is the most popular sport in the world. But in the United States it’s a polarizing topic of discussion, not unlike the issue of abortion, Michael Bay reboots and fanny packs at theme parks. (They’re practical, y’all.) This summer, I’ve come down with Soccer Fever. Not since the World Cup in 1994 have I been so into the sport.
I wanted to talk about the World Cup, so I went to the only former soccer pro I know: Ethan Zohn. A co-founder of Grassroot Soccer, canzer crusher and Survivor Africa winner shares his thoughts on HIV, this year’s World Cup tournament and what it means to truly survive life. (NOTE: Ethan’s answers submitted before the Semi-Final matches between Brazil/Germany and The Netherlands/Argentina. He knows his shit.)
So, I gotta know, Ethan: do you have any favorites in the World Cup?
Of course I do, I live for World Cup. I have been to every World Cup since 1994. Before the cup, I felt Brazil would crush everyone. But now, I’m leaning towards an Argentina / Germany final with Argentina winning. Plus I love yelling out the name Schweinsteiger at random moments throughout the day.
What’s up with that dude who bit the other dude?
That dude is Suarez, probably one of the best players in the world. To be honest I think he in love with Giorgio Chiellini. That was a love bite, not a foul. Plus Uraguay, where Suarez is from is the first country to regulate legal production, sale and consumption of marijuana. What do you expect?
I’d expect a more chill Suarez, but I’ve known people who freak out on the pot… a friend of mine… someone I know quite personally. He becomes a panicky mess… anyway…
After winning Survivor, you used the prize money to found Grassroot Soccer and help utilize the world’s love of soccer in the fight against HIV. Several years later, you were diagnosed with cancer. I know you didn’t found Grassroot to gain cosmic favor, but… you getting cancer after going to bat, er, going to kick ball for the HIV community, was one of the lamest fouls I’ve ever seen in the sport of life. How are you feeling these days?
Ha! True, I need to have a word with the referee of this game of my life…who is that? God? David Hasselhoff?
I’m feeling great and excited I’m alive and strong enough to drink beer and watch soccer all month. In the years leading up to my cancer diagnosis I have been working hard through Grassroot Soccer, to help prevent young kids in Africa from contracting this life threatening disease. I do not know what it is like to have HIV, nor do I have HIV. But, I do know what it’s like to walk into an office and get handed a very scary life ending diagnosis. Getting cancer gave me some street cred. Now I just want to do everything in my power to make sure others do not have to go through the same crap we went through. Can I get a “hell yeah”….
Hell yeah! Lastly, any big goals for Grassroot Soccer during this World Cup season, or any of your other charitable efforts?
Where do I begin! We always have cool events and fundraising campaigns. Right now, WHEATIES (the iconic cereal that always has amazing athletes on their boxes) is running a contest #WheatiesNext – 5 up-and-coming athletes in a voting contest for who gets on the next box. Each picks a charity to benefit.
Our newest Pro Ambassador, Christen Press, is in the contest and we are her charity – this is a big contest and we are one of the 5 chosen charities – woo-hoo! Check it out here:
Thanks, Ethan! Enjoy the rest of the World Cup. And the beer, you’ve earned it!
The 30/30 Project
April 30, 2014
Ryan Lewis is best known for his work with Macklemore, which has earned him 4 Grammys. Something that not many people know is that his mother, Julie Lewis, has been living with HIV for 30 years. Alongside Julie, Ryan is looking to score another home run with a collaboration that could bring health care to people around the world who currently do not have access to it.
Please watch the video above or click here to learn more about the 30/30 Project and their goal to build health care centers to provide HIV care to those who need it the most.
Why I Don’t Have Dallas Buyers Remorse
March 3, 2014
This year, The Academy Awards were once again touched by the hand of the AIDS epidemic. In 2013, AIDS activists rejoiced when How To Survive a Plague was nominated for Best Documentary. A decade before, Nicole Kidman won for Best Actress in 2003′s The Hours… and a decade before that, Tom Hanks got the nod for Best Actor in Philadelphia in what was, before this past weekend, AIDS’ greatest triumph at Hollywood’s biggest night of the year.
But a funny thing happened on the way to Oscar night…
When both Matthew McConaughey and Jared Leto won Best Actor and Best Supporting Actor at the Golden Globes two months ago, each actors’ acceptance speech failed to mention AIDS. Much like the trailer for the movie, there wasn’t mention of the medical condition that figures so prominently in the movie’s plot. And, as an AIDS educator, I get it- the word “AIDS” scares a lot of people. Get them in the theater and entertain/enlighten them by any means necessary.
In regard to the AIDS community’s outrage over the Golden Globes speeches and the omission of our struggle… I really didn’t get it. I don’t expect actors to be activists. They play roles, do the job and get in and out of character and on to the next role.
I saw Dallas Buyers Club in a theater, which was more than I expected after hearing about the movie months before its release. I figured it would be an indie flick that wouldn’t find its way to my hometown theater and that I’d catch it half-a-year later on Netflix. The fact that it got so much buzz after its release made me happy- friends of mine were going to see it on their own without me (the “friend with AIDS”) nudging them.
So last night, both actors won again on Oscar night.
Jared Leto mentioned the millions of people who died from AIDS at the tale-end of his acceptance speech, certainly making amends with a portion of the AIDS community… but Matthew McConaughey, the biggest winner, remained mum on HIV/AIDS. He also failed to mention the name of the man whose life he interpreted for the film. Matthew did mention God, and a vision of his father doing a little victory dance in Heaven for him. Which made me wonder: if pressed, could Matthew picture Ron Woodroof in that vision of Heaven, sharing that tender moment of glory with dad?
Who knows. I don’t know Matthew personally. Perhaps he does think Ron is up there, too. And perhaps he didn’t mention AIDS in his speeches for fear of offending anyone with a clumsy comment about HIV/AIDS? He has a famously loose style- so maybe we should be thanking him instead of ridiculing him for his choice of words…
I, for one, am not mad at McConaughey. He rescued a dead script from obscurity and breathed life into the performance. An actor mentioning AIDS out of obligation at an award’s ceremony might give us, those living with the virus, a good feeling inside. But I believe it does very little to educate those in the dark or get them truly interested in the cause. Where an actor has true strength is in the artistry of their craft- and in choosing the role of someone living with AIDS, McConaughey took a risk and it paid off for him professionally. He did his job.
So kudos to Matthew and Jared for going out on a limb and attaching themselves to Dallas Buyers Club. Just because they portrayed people living with AIDS, I don’t expected either of them to emerge from their roles as, say, an activist like Peter Staley of How To Survive a Plague. In fact, after the Golden Globes speech fiasco, Peter himself said: “I’m just happy Hollywood has made an AIDS film again. The crisis is far from over, so we still need reminding. And I hope Matthew McConaughey wins an Oscar.”
Labtest Contest X: Win Body Counts By Sean Strub
February 21, 2014
The Labtest Contest is back! And the grand prize has never been better- guess closest to my t-cell count and win a signed copy of Sean Strub’s incredible new book, Body Counts! The rules are posted below… be sure to follow them and good luck!
Shawn’s Guess: 422
Shawn’s Doctor’s Guess: 670
March-July 2010: Charles Oliff (guess: 567 actual count: 565)
July-December 2010: Aimee Lee (guess: 516 actual: 511)
December 2010- March 2011: “Satan” (guess: 666 actual: 662)
March-July 2011: Sharon Paul (guess:
520 actual: 508)
August-January 2012: Justin Starkenburg (guess: 570 actual count: 579)
February- June: Bob Geise (guess: 595 actual count: 590)
July-September: Sahara Frog (guess: 515 actual count: 512)
September-January 2014: Scott Anderson (guess: 620 actual count: 620)
February-October: Mary (guess: actual count:585 actual count: 583)
NOVEMBER RESULTS: 538 (No Contest)
1. You have to post your guess (between 400 and 700 t-cells) on my Poz blog Comments section
2. Relatives are allowed to guess! Bribes accepted!
3. Closest guess wins- if it’s a tie, the closest guess that DID NOT go over the actual count wins.
4. One vote/guess per person. Must have a valid email address.
5. Deadline is Friday, February 28, 2014 12:01 am EST
Body Counts by Sean Strub
January 14, 2014
Sean Strub’s memoir, Body Counts, hit stores yesterday, and Gwenn and I were fortunate enough to get to our local bookstore just in time to nab the last three copies: one for us, one for my mom (who is a huge fan) and one for a future Labtest Contest prize.
But, don’t wait around for me to get labwork done in March for a chance to win this book, if you have any interest in the history of the gay community, the politics of sex and the realities of living with HIV- you’ve gotta get this book. Click on Sean’s face to read an excerpt of Body Counts in the latest issue of Poz.
Sean has been one of the most influential people in my life as a positoid. Without him, I really have no idea what I’d be doing right now. In 1996, after nearly a decade of living with HIV, I decided to speak out about being positive for the first time; I was 20, still living with my parents in Waynesboro, Virginia, and had just put up a website chronicling my thoughts on living with HIV. My doctor fed me a few issues of Poz Magazine and I was stunned that a magazine solely about HIV existed. I poured through its pages and loved what I read. I sent a fan letter to the editor-in-chief, Sean, and shared where I was at in my own journey with HIV.
A month or so later, I was watching wrestling and the phone rang. “Shawn, telephone!” My dad/secretary called out through my bedroom door. My beloved Ric Flair had just lost his World Title; I was bummed but took the call anyway. It was Sean. He invited me to NYC to be interviewed for the magazine and shortly thereafter I started writing my Positoid column.
When I learned that my original godparents had broken ties with my family in the 1980s after my diagnosis because their church said AIDS was God’s punishment against gay people, I asked Sean and Steve Schalchlin (another beloved mentor) to be my surrogate Godparents. They both readily accepted.
All of that personal history and admiration aside, it was hard to tear myself from Body Counts to post this blog- it really is an incredible book and an honest, forthcoming account from someone who has a truly unique set of experiences to draw from.