Friendly Faces at AFLV
February 22, 2010
This semester has been busy for me and Gwenn, and thus far we’ve had a great response to our program, A Boy, A Girl, A Virus, which is all about safe, sexual decision-making and how we keep Gwenn safe in our relationship.
Here we are at the Association of Fraternal Leaders & Values (AFLV) conference in St. Louis, where we spoke to over 300 students, a portion of which raided us after the program to get a Screw Smarter t-shirt. Our good speaking buddies, Kelly and Becca, were also at the conference talking about sexual assault awareness, and kindly helped us get this photo op together as did our friends at The College Agency.
One of the highlights of AFLV was getting to see Kelly and Becca speak. They talk about what it was like for Kelly in college, when she was drugged and raped by someone she was seeing at the time. Becca, her longtime friend, was her rock as they attempted to figure out what happened. Together, they use a nightmare of an experience to educate and enlighten students on what they can do to minimize the risks of sexual assault. Basically, these girls rock it. When the four of us hang out, Kelly and I joke about being “the victim half” of our respective speaking duos.
It’s all in good fun, of course. Lots of winks and nudges. The best thing about being a speaker is that you meet other speakers- and it’s very cool to have friends that are also inspiring and- dare I say it- heroes.
Before AFLV, Gwenn and I were able to spend a couple of days in Los Angeles, where I got to say a temporary goodbye to another one of my favorite speaker friends, Ross Szabo. He speaks about mental health and what he went through as a teenager and young adult. His mission is to get people to recognize the glitches in their mental armor the same way they’d respond to a flesh wound; he’s very effective. When we met through public speaking several years ago, Ross and I respected each others work but quickly developed a bowling feud…
I’d never met someone who’d challenged my lane supremacy the way Ross has. For five years, we traded victories and defeats on lanes that stretch symbolically from California to Virginia. So when I was in LA, I went to Venice to say goodbye as Ross and his wife head, Heidi, were prepping to head to Botswana for the Peace Corps for two years. We decided it was best to set our sporting feud aside, live our lives, then get back to it upon his return.
As you can see, the competitive spirits were still burning, each athlete trying to get a psychological edge, the way boxers do by going nose-to-nose at the pre-fight weigh-in. I’ll miss ya, Ross.
Positively Yours,
Shawn
What happens when Shawn and Gwenn get to Boston? Wait- they had more adventures in Los Angeles, met more cool people? Holy smokes! Stay tuned for pt. 2 of this two-part blog entry!
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A Nice Fit For National Condom Week
February 19, 2010
A recent, small study at the University of Kentucky examined why some don’t enjoy condoms- the main reason? They don’t fit right. That’s according to the 400 young men who’d recently used (or attempted to use) condoms for penile-vaginal intercourse.
Read the report on Poz.com here.
With this week being National Condom Week, this report is quite timely. Finding the right partner can take some time- we all know that. But we never really acknowledge that finding the right condom takes patience as well. I’m sure a lot of young and older folks alike who are just engaging in sexual activity are probably turned off by a not-so-satisfying first-time condom experience. Particularly if the condom slips off, or tears because it is ill-fitted and/ or lubrication wasn’t used. That’s like going out for drinks, only to find out on the drive home that your designated driver is thoroughly shitfaced.
So how do we prevent this scenario from happening?
Well, why not bring more than one condom to the dance when you are first giving it go? Make finding the right condom for you and your partner an event, like a Price Is Right game that takes place behind a closed-door that the studio audience isn’t even aware of. That’s way hotter than Plinko, even when someone leans way over the board before dropping the disc down. Whatever mental image makes the idea of finding the right condom exciting for you is the key, and anything’s better than letting someone lose faith in the condom, or not discuss their disappointment or be too embarrassed to explore why it didn’t feel just right.
Thankfully, I found my favorite condom companion a long-time ago. Gwenn and I have tried others along the way, but I always go back to what’s worked best for me. (Lifestyles Ultra Sensitive in the gray box.) And, ya know, something better may come along as it has throughout the vast history of protecting one’s little fellow. So trying a different condom- safely- is a good idea, too. Because missing out on a more pleasurable upgrade would be, well… just click the Play button below.
Positively Yours,
Shawn
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Back Home
February 17, 2010
Gwenn and I managed to avoid Snowpacolypse and get to everywhere we needed to last week, flying from Virginia to California, St. Louis and then Boston before getting back home today. We really lucked out, avoiding snow that came before and after we left home and getting out of St. Louis and Boston just as the flakes began to fall.
The week was insanely fun. Probably my favorite speaking trip ever- definitely in recent memory. Over the last eight days, Gwenn and I spoke three times- once at CSUSM and then at two conferences, the The AFLV Central Fraternal Leadership Conference/National Black Greek Leadership Conference in St. Louis followed by the NACA (National Association for Campus Activities) National conference in Boston, where we were showcasing. We had a little downtime in Los Angeles, which was nice.
The whole week was just very cool. At the two conferences, we got to meet the staff of our new speaking bureau, The College Agency, who helped us get in front of over 1,000 college students this week, all of whom were very receptive to how Gwenn and I present the issues of HIV prevention and sexual health. I love sharing my story- and the intimate details of my love life- as a means to get people to see that us positoids can have healthy relationships and that everyone needs to take their sexual health more seriously.
I’ll write more about the last week soon… and the characters I encountered. And how I had to throw away my first iced mocha because, yes, it was that bad. But for now, I’m back home as of this afternoon. And I have just fried my brain on 7 straight hours of TiVo, including but not limited to Monday Night Raw, The Soup, Infomania, Toddlers & Tiaras, The Rotten Tomatoes Show and the Winter Olympics, where Snowboard Cross may have edged out Curling as my favorite winter sport.
This was a week to remember, but there’s also nothing like your own bed, which I am going to get reacquainted with now.
Positively Yours,
Shawn
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California State University San Marcos
February 12, 2010
Remember how I got sick and had to miss our World AIDS Day talk last December? It’s okay if you don’t. Well, on Tuesday night we made up that failed date, speaking at Cal State University San Marcos to recognize National Condom Day. We got out of Virginia just before another snowstorm hit, driving to the Richmond airport at 2 am in the morning… hardcore!
After a cross country flight and two-hour drive, we had a nice long nap in the hotel before heading a few short blocks down the street to the school. Unfortunately, we’d brought heavy rainfall to San Marcos- which stunk because it definitely kept some students from coming to our talk since it’s a commuter school. Still, I was more than happy with the turnout, and was deeply impressed by the great set-up, which included enough lube to keep King Kong satisfied and tons of information in the form of handouts and detailed charts about condom usage.
Cathy, pictured at the far bottom left of the above photo, is the health educator on campus who was so great in rescheduling the talk. Turns out she not only has a passion for sex education; she’s also a handbag aficionado. Check out this video I shot for her web site, leatherandbags.com, featuring Gwenn. (We were at Pizza Nova after the talk, goofing off.)
Positively Yours,
Shawn
Check out my Decker’s Daily coffee blog, it’s much easier to update on the
road. There you can see some friendly faces that Gwenn and I have
encountered during this busy week! Also, join our Facebook Page. You know you wanna.
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SnOMG Super Black AIDS Bowl Weekend
February 8, 2010
The weekend was so packed with snow and events that I didn’t have time to load the rest of my iMovie trailers from seven odd years ago. So you’ll have to wait for Alien Pen and Rusty the Vampire Deer Hunter…
One thing I didn’t have to wait long on was for the roads to get plowed. Gwenn and I did the smart thing by shoveling our driveway a few times as the 15 inches of snow fell over the course of two days, which made things easier when we made our escape from home today for some coffee. I’d set my alarm for early on Friday, as the snow began to fall, but all of our friends were either doing yoga, taking advantage of sleeping or not answering my frantic text.
This year, the playoffs for the Super Bowl embarrassed me- I’d predicted the Jets and the Vikings to make it to the big game. My vision was that the Jets would win the coin toss to see who would receive the football first, and then Brett Favre was going to stun the world by removing his Vikings jersey, revealing his Jets one from the previous year and taking the Jets to a Super Bowl win.
I know, “Shawn, that sounds like Vince McMahon’s failed XFL.”
To redeem myself, I predicted the favored Colts to beat the inspirational Saints, 27-17. I think I pick that same score every year like it’s a lottery number made up of the birth dates of my dead grandparents. Of course, the Saints humiliated me with a 31-17 victory… but hey, at least I got the 17 right, right?
Yesterday wasn’t just the biggest TV event in American culture. It was also National Black HIV/AIDS Awareness Day. I’ll let the official web site of NBHAAD tell the tale of why this designation is a necessity:
“When it comes to HIV/AIDS, the famous saying of when White America has a cold - Black America has the flu rings
true when it comes to this disease as well. Every year in the United
States, since the epidemic began in 1981, Blacks have been
disproportionately affected by HIV/AIDS.“
Every year since 2001, I believe, there has been an observance of Black AIDS Day on February 7. This year, unfortunately, an already overlooked crisis in this country just so happened to fall on one of the most celebrated occasions in American culture. And even if President Obama made an eloquent, tear-jerking speech about the toll AIDS has taken in the community, and the AIDS is one of the leading causes of death in the First Lady’s age group, some reporter would have asked him his Super Bowl prediction at the end of the touching speech and that would have been the 12 seconds looped ad nauseum on Headline News.
It’s the country we live- it’s a beautiful place but the truth hurts. Hell, I’m living with AIDS and I feel apathetic a lot of the time, and get burnt out on having to talk and write about it. And AIDS, in any community regardless of ethnicity, isn’t something that is freely spoken about. Would moving this year’s observance to a non-Super Bowl day had made any difference? I’m not sure. But it wouldn’t have hurt…
Unlike the truth.
Positively Yours,
Shawn
This week Gwenn and I will be traveling a bit, speaking at the National Association for Campus Activities conference in Boston as well as in St. Louis at the Association of Fraternal Leadership & Values. I’ll be tweeting from the road!
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Snowsquatch is Coming…
February 5, 2010
Everyone is afraid of the snow, but I’m afraid of something else.
I made this back in 2003, looks like “next winter” finally arrived. Be safe, and remember that Mother Nature is formidable, but scared humans will always be our biggest threat to survival. Outside of objects falling from outer space that we have no concept of understanding.
Yes, that’s a prelude to my next movie trailer. Since I’m snowed in I’m gonna be launching these old trailers all weekend long. Hope you stocked up on popcorn if you’re in the snow zone.
Positively Yours,
Shawn
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Decker’s Daily Band of the Month: a’tris
February 4, 2010
Today was a very busy day for Decker’s Daily Coffee. I set the alarm- something I seldomly do- to meet our fellow College Agency friends, Kelly and Becca, who were raising awareness at JMU about sexual assault. Even though Decker’s Daily is a for-profit organization, I treated Kelly and Becca for just being, well, awesome.
That, and their GPS took them to a ballet store when it should have brought them to the coffee shop. When GPS Units Attack should be a television show on Fox. I remember when Gwenn and I had our first GPS, and on our way to a talk we ended up in some dark alley by a river, led there by a single lane dirt road. “I don’t think this is the college that we are supposed to be speaking at,” I said. Travel snafus are the worst, especially at the hands of rebel GPS units.
After the morning coffee with Kelly and Becca I came home and crashed out for a couple of hours. Later in the evening, I was back at the same shop for a special Decker’s Nightly.
With the economy in shambles, my coffee sponsorships in 2010 have been few and far between. Which is totally cool, even though the mocha mooching makes me happy. But, last night, my dry spell ended: I had a very special sponsorship from a young musician named Mason Taylor, and the story of how I bummed a drink off of him is pretty cool.
Ten years ago, when Mason was in high school, he heard Gwenn and I speak. Turns out he’s friends with my cousin, Bonnie, and when I somehow came up in conversation he recognized my name and story. Which, really, is my greatest hope in dedicating a decent portion of my life to raising awareness about HIV- the hope being that these brief encounters I have with strangers will stick. When Bonnie let Mason borrow my book, he wrote a very kind blog entry about me. Check it out on Facebook here.
Here’s Mason and I cheesing out: thanks to cousin Bonnie for bringing her swank camera and snapping the photo.
After reading his blog entry/book review, in which he created a word- “unputdownable”- to describe My Pet Virus, I thought it was kind of funny that he had a link of my first Synthetic Division EP, Tainted Goods, which he’d found at Plan 9 records shortly after I spoke at his high school a decade ago. To be described as a good musician by Mason is a high honor, because after the sponsorship and cyber introduction, I got to find out what he does… which is rock. So, without further ado, I give you the first ever Decker’s Daily Band of the Month, a’tris. Here they are performing their song, “Automatic Doors”, which is, in his own word, unputdownable.
Enjoy!
Automatic Doors from AirPlay Direct on Vimeo. Buy the a’tris album, Lensing, on iTunes. Visit the band at atrishq.com and follow Mason on twitter at @atris
Positively Yours,
Shawn
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Shawn’s Sicks Days
February 2, 2010
I have a lot of links at the bottom of this page- Shawn’s book, Shawn’s music, Decker’s Daily Coffee (sublimely shameless and joyously updated)… but one thing is missing. The absolutely absurd amount of time that I spend sick.
When I was writing My Pet Virus, one of the things I had to overcome was my own sugarcoating of my health. As I recalled how terrible I felt- and how often- I really got a gauge for how I feel, and that’s it’s been worse than I’d like to admit. Coughing through Thanksgiving, World AIDS Week, and then crashing out in the hospital last year, I figured out that I’d spent at least a fifth of the year under the weather. So last Thursday, when I started coughing again due to a nasal drip, which has me still feeling a bit puny today, I figured I should document this.
So, down at the very bottom of this blog, in tiny font print, you’ll see Shawn’s Sick Days in 2010. Right now, I’m up to 5- but I gotta figure out what qualifies as a “sick day”. This is all a work in progress, you see. For instance, today I was well enough to turn up for jury duty and then- while I was out- a Decker’s Daily Coffee. Then I texted my pool league captain, got out of my Monday Night billiards duties, only to venture up the street to work on some new music at my friend’s home studio…
So maybe I’ll knock the count down to 4. That seems fair since today was way too busy to be considered a “Shawn’s Sick Day”. Tomorrow? Well, we’ll see.
Don’t worry; I won’t be blogging every time I feel sick. That would make for a bummer of a blog, both for you the valued reader and me the writer. Right now, the sickness I feel is more of a nuisance than a risk to my health. That’s usually how it is, and I’m thankful for that and maybe that’s why I’m so nonchalant about it when I am sick. I just rest and get better and get on with life.
So, will keeping tab on the sick days bum me out? No, or at least I don’t think so. If I break triple digits, I might break down. Ultimately, I’m just curious. Of course, I’ll be doing everything I can to make sure that number remains as low as possible. Which means taking my meds as I do, eating decently (not too much meat) and just being my happy, contented self.
Now, it’s off to get ready for more snowfall. Better get out early for my mocha just in case it starts to fall early.
Positively Yours,
Shawn
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She Won! Positoids Rejoice!
January 31, 2010
Caressa Cameron, Miss Virginia, completely rocked the Miss America pageant tonight, winning the title of Miss America in the process. This is the first time since 1997- when Kate Shindle took the crown- that a Miss America has had HIV/AIDS as her platform issue. (In some bizarro pageant world synchronicity, Shindle’s birthday is today- Happy Birthday, Kate!)
These days, the Miss America Organization has partnered with the Children’s Miracle Network, so basically whomever wins is immediately an advocate for the CMN. Which is a great cause, nobody can argue with raising money for children’s hospitals, right? It’s a safe and much-needed thing, whereas a platform issue like HIV education is much-needed, but not so safe.
Aside from the work Miss America does with the CMN, the reigning queen does have some time to advocate for their own cause. The fact that Caressa is already a natural advocate for HIV/AIDS will only do good things for peoples’ perceptions of those living with HIV. Every little bit of acceptance and awareness helps, as does every voice that calls out for comprehensive sex education in schools, as Caressa has done in schools all throughout Virginia.
Now, her message will go beyond the Commonwealth.
Congratulations to the newly crowned Miss America! I’m sure Caressa will be a fierce and friendly ally to the community, just as she’s always been. And, if Rush Limbaugh threw a few points her way as a judge, then I guess I have to say, for once, good call, Rush. Maybe you weren’t such a bad choice for a pageant judge after all.
Positively Yours,
Shawn
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Miss(ing) America
January 28, 2010
No, this isn’t a blog entry about longing for the days of President George Bush after last night’s State of the Union Address by President Obama. You’d know I have dementia if that were the case. This entry is only partially political, though mostly personal.
This weekend is the Miss America pageant in Las Vegas. Last year, Gwenn and I cheered on Miss Virginia and Miss New York, who is a Virginia native and a member of our AIDS Walk team, Supersnack. The current Miss Virginia is Caressa Cameron, who joined us in DC last October for the AIDS Walk and has been raising awareness about HIV/AIDS issues for several years now, becoming personally linked to the issue at the age of 8, when her uncle died from AIDS.
She is a friend to the positoid community. And Gwenn and I should be there cheering her on. But… a funny thing happened on the way to Las Vegas this year. The Miss America Organization invited Rush Limbaugh to be a judge. Yes, the man who infamously uttered the following statement in regard to women:
“Feminism was established to allow unattractive women easier access to the mainstream.” - Rush Limbaugh
Admittedly, I just don’t like the guy. Truth be written, I think he’s a blabbering idiot and I resent my much-beloved Miss America Organization for giving me yet another thing to have in common with Rush Limbaugh. Aside from being white, now we are both officially assigned judges within the Miss America system. Well, I guess we have three things in common, as we both ended 2009 with health scares. If his heart problem had been “the big one”, I may be in Vegas right now.
No, I’m not wishing he were dead. But I don’t understand why he gets to judge Miss America… when I’ve judged several local pageants here in Virginia. That spot on the panel in Vegas was mine. I earned it. But I digress, this isn’t about me: it’s about the girls.
Why do smart, confidant women trying to earn scholarship money for college (and win, this is a competition) have to go through Rush? I don’t understand the reason for having him there, outside of the shock value, getting his vast radio audience to tune in and hoping he provides a counter to the Miss USA Perez Hilton/Prejean moment.
Okay, so I totally understand why he’s there.
I have a lot of friends in Vegas this weekend and I wish Caressa well. She’s already won preliminary talent, and I fully expect her to keep going strong. She’s tough enough to handle Limbaugh and the crazy schedule that would await her should she bring home the biggest of crowns. But I just couldn’t stomach the thought of sharing oxygen space with Rush Limbaugh- an ill representation of the male species, the classic example of being all balls and no heart.
My boycott, of course, has it’s limitations. I will be watching the pageant on television. And if you are a positoid, too, be sure to cheer for Miss Virginia. Whether she comes home with the upgraded crown or not, she has had our backs. This Saturday, even if it’s from a distance, we should have hers, too.
Go, Caressa!
Positively Yours,
Shawn
Check out my Poz column from November 2008, in which I expound on my love for pageants and hatred of anti-gay bigotry.
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