Home for the… Holiday?
November 30, 2011
Tomorrow is World AIDS Day. Aside from two years ago- when I got sick while out on the road during World AIDS Week and had fly home instead of across the country- I haven’t really been home on World AIDS Day in any shape or form to enjoy it in about a decade. Today I’m about to get a plane and head off with Gwenn, and do my best to share my insights on living with HIV in the hopes of raising awareness and compassion, but tomorrow?
I’ll be home by 1 pm. And I plan to chillax. Going to go see the Muppets movie. Definitely going to have an iced mocha beforehand. I know World AIDS Day isn’t a holiday- just like living with HIV isn’t a holiday. But since I started talking about my HIV status openly, it’s become a work day for me, because it’s a small window from which many will gaze through for one day. So much information, which is always circulating, will be taken in.
But this year? I’m kicking back.
Have a safe, healthy and happy World AIDS Day!
Positively Yours,
Shawn
An Unforgettable Thanksgiving Eve
November 24, 2011
Sitting on my couch, watching Jake manage the after effects of a house party gone wrong thanks to some channel’s shared love of my favorite movie, Sixteen Candles. Today is Thanksgiving Day, and I’m thankful that my own “house party” couldn’t have gone off better last night.
Did I plan a pre-turkey-tofu-whatever-you-eat Day blow out? Not hardly. But Gwenn and I did invite my family (my bro, sister-in-law, two nieces, mom, dad, best friend and goddaughter) over for a Thanksgiving Eve dinner. Well, my brother suggested we host- I didn’t offer because our place is so small, and his is so big. And also, over the years, I’ve gotten lazy with the hosting side of things in general. I know my brother works hard, has a family, and his time gets a bit more crunched up than mine. So the hour drive to his place and back to mine isn’t a problem for Gwenn and I, since we’re not wrangling two kids and suffering the after effects of a graveyard shift.
So when my brother asked if we’d want to host a Thanksgiving Eve dinner, I stuttered, “Uh… sure!”
Our kitchen table wasn’t big enough for 10, though the make-shift flip top is perfect for an 8-person game of cards. A folding table in the shed out back helped, and a table cloth made it fit right in. Everyone brought an item of food, so really, Gwenn and I got off very easy on the preparation side of things. With two 3-year olds coming, I made a little Thanksgiving Day table out of two pillows, several stuffed animals and paper plates and cups, figuring that if they finished up dinner early or it just took a long time to eat after arrival that they’d have something to do.
Aside from the youngins- both of whom I adore- I was also excited to see my parents. I haven’t written about any of this since it’s their lives, but last year they got divorced. I joked with Gwenn many times since then about writing a book about how to survive a divorce in your mid-thirties… as the child of divorced parents. Anyway, I love them both, and never told either that I think they just work better together: Dad’s less of a sad sack and Mom is less aggressive. I can write that because my parents are hanging out again. I respect and love them both, and whatever decision they make from here is theirs. But, I won’t lie, I love seeing them together, most importantly because I love seeing them happy.
The night? Well, it went perfectly. It’s a Thanksgiving experience I’ll never forget- the kids bonded instantly, I joked around with my older niece, who is about to turn 13 and is just a witty, fun person to be around… we all sat at the two tables, crunched up in our small kitchen, of which I was thankful. I ended up sitting in the best seat by chance, with the ability to swivel between both tables. Everyone just had a wonderful night, and it was enhanced because of the change in scenery… I was so happy, I didn’t even mind when I busted out during the card game later in the evening.
Probably because in life, I’ve definitely hit the jackpot.
Thanks for reading,
Shawn
11-11-11 About That Number, “Eleven”
November 11, 2011
Today is Eleven Day. I love when the calendar does something quirky like this. It made me think for a second about what the number “11″ has meant in my life. I was 11 years old when I tested positive for HIV. No other event has had such an impact on me. I spent those first years avoiding it entirely, followed by years of embracing it wildly. It’s hard to think of how my life would turned out had the age of 11 not been fraught with so much turmoil.
Positively Yours,
Shawn
#GetBetterEthan Support HIV/AIDS in NYC Marathon
November 3, 2011
The crappy news of the week is that Ethan Zohn’s cancer has returned. Many of you may know Ethan from Survivor Africa, the reality show that he won a million dollars on and then used the money to start an HIV/AIDS awareness organization called Grassroot Soccer.
I blogged a bit about Ethan’s cancer diagnosis in 2009- I named him my Person of the Year that year as well. Up until then, I’d used the Person of the Year as a gag of sorts… but when Ethan was diagnosed with cancer, well, his health was all I could think about. The AIDS community has far too few heroes to lose. Through his initial triumph due to a stem cell transplant that saw him living in a bubble, he opened up his medical ordeal to educate others about the disease. He’s a hero to lots of people- I’ve met him several times, he’s good people and I consider him a friend.
And this week I’ve been extremely saddened by this news. I know Ethan’s a fighter- he’s a healthy guy aside from his pet cancer- and he’ll do everything he can to knock cancer back on its ass. The process if grueling, it’s one he’s already been through and now it faces him again. On Wednesday, he went public with the news, and Jenna posted on Twitter about it. The hashtag #GetBetterEthan was reposted by thousands of people.
As many of us know personally, health challenges can often be private affairs. Even the healthiest among us hate to admit when a cold has exerted its will. Any reminder of our vulnerability, or even mortality, offers a knee-jerk reaction. Defiance. At a base level, none of us want to think about our inevitable deaths. But when we bond over our concern, and share the treatment process, the coping, the victories and the defeats, it makes us stronger as a whole.
I’m really hopeful for Ethan. I’m sending all my positoid vibes his way. He’s been a true godsend to the AIDS community. In the grand picture, he’s given people with cancer so much inspiration… hell, in the midst of receiving all of this news about his immediate future and the impending treatments, he’s still going to run in the NYC Marathon this weekend to raise money for Grassroot Soccer.
I just donated- I hope you consider doing the same.
Positively Yours,
Shawn
PS… “EZFC” = Ethan Zohn Fuck Cancer. :O)
A Massage With An Unhappy Ending
November 1, 2011
Halloween has come and gone. I had a great one this year- saw my friends’ new band, Brighter Fires, have their first show at a house party that included the obligatory visit by the police. So funny, I had a can of beer in my hand and set it down when the car rolled in, even though I’m 36. I haven’t been to a house party since high school, so it was just my natural reaction.
Another highlight was helping my Goddaughter make her first jack-o-lantern, and taking her out with Gwenn and her mother to go trick-or-treating on the campus of UVa. Oh, and I also got to rewatch my favorite Halloween movie of all-time, The Monster Squad, complete with a drink I invented called “Wolfman’s Nards”, which is basically a white russian with two Lindt chocolate balls dropped into it. (Gotta see the movie to get the name of the drink.)
Anyway, November is here, but the scares for people living with HIV don’t end with the festive pagan holiday rituals. My friend, Sonya, just blogged about an unhappy ending for a Massage Envy patron who is HIV positive. Basically, the masseuse used rubber gloves to perform the massage. Can you imagine how awful that must have been, going in for a relaxing massage only to be reminded of your HIV status and how scared some people are to even touch you?
Here’s to hoping that this Massage Envy in Houston gets their act together. It’s just another reason why comprehensive HIV education is needed- the issue is not just about sexual health, it’s about creating an environment that isn’t filled with panic. We’ve come a long way in 30 years, but there are still so many people who don’t have a clue about how HIV is and isn’t transmitted.
Positively Yours,
Shawn
LIFE IN PHOTOS
Shit got whack at da coffee shop today.
One of my #Halo friends is a vicious monster who will attack the moment you turn your back to him. Every Team Slayer match is basically 3 on 5 with him involved. The game should have trials for war crimes as a game mode.
Yesterday the neighbor's cat paid us a visit. His name is Hobbes, and it was our first meeting. He is very friendly.
I know what you all want, and it isn't pasty European Heavyweight champions... it's me drinking iced mochas. Behold.
Speaking About Sexual Health
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