Back in the AIDS Closet With Me?
September 26, 2011
For the last decade-plus, Gwenn and I have educated together as a couple dealing with HIV and, as far as I know, we’re the only hetero couple doing this on a national level. Which seems absolutely crazy anytime I stop and think about it.
Speaking about HIV in a way that gets people to listen is what I do best. I haven’t had many jobs in my life, a fact of which I was reminded when a friend recently mentioned the softness of my hand after a firm shake. In many ways, despite the many medical obstacles I’ve navigated since birth (hemophilia, hepatitis B, HIV, Pac-Man Fever), I’ve had it pretty easy. I’ve always been loved, I come from a middle class family- all the major bases have been covered. Once I got comfortable with sharing my status at age 20, life got a lot easier because my biggest roadblock had been plowed over.
I have a way of compartmentalizing the seriousness of my own experiences with HIV, mainly because I don’t like to dwell on the rough spots. Also, I understand that as an educator, a moderate focus on my own history is important, but the main goal is making an audience realize why sexual health is important to them. I’m just the vessel of information. I’ve lived through the discrimination, uncertainty and health concerns that an HIV diagnosis can bring. And Gwenn is a vital partner in the educational message, because she has the HIV negative point of view and is proof to the success one can have when they are knowledgeable about condom use and its ability to prevent HIV infection.
I’m so proud of the work we’ve done. But I must admit that times are slow these days. I spend a lot of time in my hometown, when I should be out there educating, while I’m still young enough to want to travel and put myself on display. Admittedly, I’m beginning to wonder if a return to the AIDS closet is in my cards, and that my educational contribution is solely meant to be this blog, or the random passing along of My Pet Virus.
I think sexual health should be mandatory in junior high schools. Of course, this is coming from someone who was HIV positive in junior high school. The disconnect of peoples’ sexual activity and how we approach education is something I’ll never quite get. I’ve spoken at hundreds of colleges, but never once at a junior high school and only seldom at high schools. Each time Gwenn and I have spoken at the latter, the response has been fantastic.
And that only makes it harder. Aside from a bum ankle due to hemophilia and slight cartilage damage which may have been exacerbated by years of kicking AIDS’ ass, I’m good to go. I’ve got t-cells and the continued desire to educate another generation of youth. No one else is going to step up and fill the void if I just disappear into the empty glass of a consumed iced mocha.
The only question is whether or not there’s an interest in what I have to offer.
Positively Yours,
Shawn
Two and a Half Men: Did Charlie Harper Have HIV?
September 20, 2011
I’m not a big Two And A Half Men fan- in fact I’ve never watched an entire episode until last night. Morbid curiosity drew me in, as I was wondering how they would kill off the womanizing, drug-usin’, freerollin’ Charlie Sheen’s character, the womanizing, drug-usin’, freerollin’ Charlie Harper.
Well, I wasn’t disappointed.
The opening scene is the funeral. His grieving brother Maxwell (Jon Cryer, “Maxwell” is a guess) is saying a few words, but can barely finish a sentence before the angry mob of hot ladies chime in. “My brother gave so much, to so many people…” “Yeah, he gave me herpes.” “… and me gonorrhea.” “I got genital warts from him.” Then another man chimed in about how much drug money he was owed, and who he should collect from. When Maxwell suggested hiring a lawyer, then man said he’d rather keep the law out it. Later, while grieving at home, Maxwell is visited by a slew of people, including John Stamos, who admits to a threesome that involved he and Charlie Harper as well as a female, which became a twosome after the female passed out.
Oh, and he died because he fell in front of a train, but it was insinuated that he was pushed by his girlfriend; hence no open casket at the service. It was all funny stuff until the script went up in a puff the moment Charlie’s ashes were accidentally scattered across the living room floor.
Anyway, based on the post-mortem fleshing out of Charlie Harper’s character, is it not a stretch to think that maybe he was a positoid? That somewhere along the way, during a decade of heavy partying and drug use, he contracted HIV? Let’s rip this one from the headlines, since “AIDS monster!” stories are always popular in the media…
Maybe Charlie’s girlfriend went to donate blood, found out she was positive, went back to Charlie. “I don’t have HIV!” “Well, have you ever been tested?” “No- I use condoms when she says she won’t have sex without them…” “Who is SHE?” “Uh, wait baby, I didn’t mean-” One shove later and Charlie Harper is splattered by a train. If that sounds too dark for a sitcom, you must remember that a laugh track can sooth the seriousness of any situation.
Positively Yours,
Shawn
MOCHA MADNESS: The Official HD Movie Embed
September 19, 2011
Alright, short and sweet. This is a 22-minute Blair Witch Project-esque movie that Josh and I made while on the road. Had fun doing it! It has a shocking ending, but one shocking aspect I noticed when editing the footage is that I never once state my HIV status.
Maybe in the sequel?
Positively Yours,
Shawn
Synthetic Division’s Mocha Madness Film Premiere
September 16, 2011
While on the road last month for a few Synthetic Division shows, Josh and I took a video camera along to document the experience. It’s one of those rare things when you have a good idea and you actually follow through with it… well, it’s rare for me.
Anyway, I’m beyond thrilled with the end result, and we’re having a world premiere of the 22-minute movie on Facebook this Sunday night, at 10:30 pm EST. If you wanna join us for the viewing party, log into Facebook, click on the movie poster and attend the premiere from the comfort of your own home and computer. Oh, and bring your own popcorn. If you’re not on Facebook don’t worry, I’ll be posting the movie on this blog on Monday.
Positively Yours,
Shawn
Make It Grow: Tweet Chat Next Friday @ 2pm
September 15, 2011
I recently received an email about a great new campaign called “Make It Grow”. It’s not Extenze or any other kind of penis enlargement pill. It’s way more important than that, because Make It Grow focuses on the desperate need for everyone to get involved in the funding issues (and lack thereof) that threaten all of the hard work that’s been put into HIV prevention and care in the United States.
If you have a Twitter account, be sure to pop in on Friday, September 23 when Regan Hofmann (@reganhofmann) moderates a TweetChat (#EndAIDS will be the official hashtag used for those wanting to follow the discussion, which starts at 2 pm EST). With poverty being one of the main issues that people with HIV face, it’s no wonder that they are most at risk to feel the brunt of the current economical situation.
Just last Monday, I saw firsthand how community involvement can help people living with HIV, when a benefit dinner raised thousands of dollars to support a camp that brings families together who are affected by HIV and also helped raise money for gas cards that get folks to the HIV Clinic. So here’s to hoping that AIDS United’s Make It Grow campaign will do just that- grow, and continue to help those who are in the most desperate need for life-saving services.
Positively Yours,
Shawn
Happy Birthday to Degen Pener
September 14, 2011
There have been lots of birthday celebrations as of late- from Freddie Mercury to my mother to my goddaughter to my good friends who just welcomed a second child on the same day they welcomed their first two years ago… will that make birthday parties easier or harder?
Either way, I gotta send out a public Happy Birthday wish to Degen Pener. Few folks have shaped my HIV educational journey the way Degen did back in 1996.
1996… that was the year everything for me changed. I realized I wanted to speak out about HIV for the first time in my life, after a decade of being diagnosed. I send a handwritten letter to Poz Magazine’s then editor-in-chief, Sean Strub, and a couple of months later I got a phone call from Sean inviting me to NYC to be interviewed for the magazine. I was pretty stunned. The writer who got the unenviable job of interviewing a 20-year old on his first trip to NYC???
That would be Degen.
Sean was so excited. “I’ve been wanting Degen for a long time.” I assumed he meant for a writing assignment. I was in NYC for close to a week, and met with Degen several times. The magazine came out about four months later, and the wait was agonizing. Even more so when Sean informed me that I was going to be on the cover… that experience more than anything cemented my decision to make HIV education and awareness the focal point of my life.
When the magazine came out, my hands were shaking as I read Degen’s assessment of my life; and I laughed. Probably cried at points, too. As someone a bit older and wiser, he really took in many of the aspects of my diagnosis that I’d either brushed under the emotional rug or had not yet incorporated into my educational message. His article was the blueprint for how I framed my experiences from that moment on. I had all the energy and enthusiasm to educate, and Degen’s witty writing style was a godsend to someone who was paying attention even though they didn’t quite realize they were looking for and needed direction.
So happy birthday, Degen. Big hugs from a very grateful positoid.
Positively Yours,
Shawn
Locals: Orzo HIV/AIDS Benefit Dinner on Monday
September 9, 2011
I’ve been back from my Synthetic Division road trip for a bit now, and bid farewell to Josh last weekend as he flew back to California. So great to spend two full weeks with one of my best friends on this mortal journey we’re all undertaking. I’d write more about our adventures if I weren’t editing together a video of our adventures right now, so look for that on here soon…
In the meantime, a wonderful restaurant, Orzo, here in my hometown (Charlottesville, VA) is doing a benefit dinner for the local clinic where positoids like me get their care. The full information on the event is below (contact Pam Bickley via email PAB2U@hscmail.mcc.virginia.
Positively Yours,
Shawn
__________________
Orzo Restaurant is hosting a benefit for the UVA Ryan White Program (HIV Clinic). The benefit dinner and silent auction will raise money for the HIV Family Camp at Camp Holiday Trails and to purchase gas cards for UVA Ryan White patients.
LIFE IN PHOTOS
Shit got whack at da coffee shop today.
One of my #Halo friends is a vicious monster who will attack the moment you turn your back to him. Every Team Slayer match is basically 3 on 5 with him involved. The game should have trials for war crimes as a game mode.
Yesterday the neighbor's cat paid us a visit. His name is Hobbes, and it was our first meeting. He is very friendly.
I know what you all want, and it isn't pasty European Heavyweight champions... it's me drinking iced mochas. Behold.
Speaking About Sexual Health
Since 2000, Shawn and Gwenn have been speaking about sexual health together, sharing their personal story and empowering others to be safe. If you are interested in having them speak at your event, fill out the Contact Us form.
Check out Shawn's music and buy his book, My Pet Virus, which is now available on Kindle!
It will be the funniest book you've ever read about someone having AIDS... guaranteed!