Mad Men Hilarity
July 30, 2010
Thanks for all the messages on Facebook, email, twitter, cyberverse regarding yesterday’s blog post. I’ve been feeling much better the last couple of weeks and am glad I posted about what’s been going on.
Since I’m writing about all things personal, I felt compelled to share a site that has brought Gwenn and I much joy over the last week. Banana Republic is working with the hit TV show Mad Men (hilariously spoofed here by Ben Hoffman of my favorite TV show, Infomania), who is putting on a contest inviting people to dress up in the style of the television show for a chance to have a walk on role.
Pretty simple, right?
Well, check out the entries. People submit- or friends submit their friends unknowingly- with the most random photos. Some are senior portraits, others are actor’s headshots, a lot are just dudes holding martini glasses and wearing a modern (meaning mid 1990′s) suit. The loudest laughs I’ve had recently have been scrolling through this site… and so far, this guy is my favorite. His name is Charlie, and I’m endorsing him to be on the show that I don’t watch, but Gwenn does.
To vote for Charlie, just click on his picture below.
And a big thanks to Bob G. for the pick-me-up iced mocha. Maybe I should submit this picture to the contest? Nothing says early 1960′s businessman like a safer sex shirt and an iced espresso drink.
Positively Yours,
Shawn
Watch, Friend and Follow me on:
YouTube, Facebook and Twitter Website: ShawnandGwenn.com
Also check out the lovely Gwenn’s Fashion/Coffee Blog
Like what you’ve read? Then buy me an iced mocha or check out my new CD:
Synthetic Division, A Symptom of Life, which is now on iTunes!
SHARE THE BLOG. NOT THE VIRUS.
The Summertime Blues
July 28, 2010
I won’t lie- this summer has been rough. I wrote about dealing with fatigue, the physical kind that can be temporarily alleviated by the occasional nap. But I haven’t written about the emotional side of fatigue; namely, depression.
It’s a word that comes with a lot of weight, and isn’t one I use loosely. I have serious respect and empathy for anyone who deals with recurrent mental health issues because, in many ways, it is the root cause for a lot of the problems that people put band-aides on without acknowledging the emotional trigger. (Mental health issues and depression can lead to excess drinking, drugging, unsafe sex, etc.) Am I drinking and drugging and giving up condoms? No. But I have felt a little blue for about a month. Maybe longer. I don’t know, I stopped counting the days of my malaise and, like most people, I kept these feelings to myself largely, only really confiding in Gwenn.
I have a wonderful life. One I wouldn’t trade. I love being a writer and an HIV educator and providing laughs and inspiration to those who are already positive; I really feel like that’s my purpose, and I’ve been fortunate to have fulfilled that goal. Hell, I found love, and have met a ton of incredible people, all because I stood up to my virus fourteen years ago and decided to attack life and let the chips fall where they may.
But part of my slump has been that I want to do more. I know firsthand how HIV has affected me, and am growing increasingly frustrated with how lightly regarded the topic of sexual health seems to be and, every summer after the Spring semester is over (Gwenn and I speak mostly at colleges and universities) it seems like we are barely getting by. It didn’t help my mood that one of the last talks of the semester was canceled- or, uh, postponed- the day before because someone at the university was uncomfortable with our presence there. It was a costly error in judgment, not just for the students who will have to wait six months-to-never to hear the message of health- of freaking health!- but also for Gwenn and I. In that regard, despite all of my successes in reaching thousands of people through my book, talks and various media outlets, I feel like a complete failure who is unable to provide for his household. That one missed talk is the difference between getting through a summer without sweating the bills. If it weren’t for a class action settlement that basically bought the townhouse we live, there is no possible way we could do what we do.
All in all, in the current state of the economy and world- I am lucky. I am loved, I am healthy against all the odds I was given so many years ago… and I am never hungry. All the basic human needs are, and have always been, met. I am aware of this good fortunate daily, and that only makes me embarrassed for these feelings I have been harboring. I’m feeling better about everything now, but I think one of the keys to not letting this build up again is allowing myself the freedom to write about it without being worried about bumming out everyone, or being viewed as weak.
Or whatever everyone’s excuse is for not talking about the natural pendulum swing of emotions that we all go through.
Back when I started blogging in 1996 I had a simple goal: to write about my life honestly and let the chips fall where they may. It’s time to get back to that, if for nothing more than my own mental well-being.
Positively Yours,
Shawn
Watch, Friend and Follow me on:
YouTube, Facebook and Twitter
Website: ShawnandGwenn.com
Also check out the lovely Gwenn’s Fashion/Coffee Blog
Like what you’ve read? Then buy me an iced mocha or check out my new CD:
Synthetic Division, A Symptom of Life, which is now on iTunes!
SHARE THE BLOG. NOT THE VIRUS.
Filmmakers Looking For Young People With HIV
July 23, 2010
Got a message from my friends at the MTV Staying Alive Foundation about an upcoming film about young people and how they deal with HIV. Filming will begin in 3 weeks, so if you’re interested in participating then fill out the Contact Form on my website and I’ll forward your information along.
You must be:
- in your late teens or early 20′s
- willing to go public with your HIV status
- willing to participate in a hot dog eating contest…
Okay, the last bullet point I made up.
The filmmaker explained to me that the main goal of the project is to show that young people with HIV lead full and constructive lives, show how they integrate the issue of protection into their sexual lives and also convey the (emotional) transition into adulthood. Sounds interesting, right? The MTV Staying Alive Foundation has put out such great programming about youth and HIV issues over the last ten years, I’m so happy that they continue to show that those of us with HIV are just regular people with regular human emotions.
Hope everyone has a nice weekend ahead of ‘em. Don’t eat too many hot dogs.
Positively Yours,
Shawn
Watch, Friend and Follow me on:
YouTube, Facebook and Twitter
Website: ShawnandGwenn.com Also check out the lovely Gwenn’s Fashion/Coffee Blog
Like what you’ve read? Then buy me an iced mocha or check out my new CD: Synthetic Division, A Symptom of Life, which is now on iTunes!
SHARE THE BLOG. NOT THE VIRUS.
Microbicides, Men and HIV
July 21, 2010
This year’s International AIDS Conference, which happens every two years, is taking place right now, and Poz is reporting on all of the exciting news coming out of Vienna. One of the bits of news that is generating the most interest is a study of the use of HIV preventative microbicides.
Basically, it’s an HIV-fighting drug in gel form, which can applied inside the vagina before having sex, thus reducing the risk of HIV transmission. Though the gel is due for more trials and is likely several years away from being made available at your neighborhood drug store, the initial results have been promising, and the evolution of moving away from condom negotiations and putting women’s safety into women’s hands (and vaginas) is being hailed as a “game changer”.
When Gwenn and I were discussing this news item, my first thought was a personal one: I’d love to have that gel in my nightstand. I’d love to say goodbye to my old friend, the condom, and see what all this skin-on-skin penis-to-vagina fuss is all about. But she made a very astute point, “Once again, the woman has to bear all the responsibility.” She likened it to a woman not wanting to get pregnant, thus having to go on birth control because a lot of guys don’t like condoms, or get offended, or whatever the excuse is.
And ultimately, the excitement the AIDS community feels has to be recognized for what it is- an admittance that man has failed. A deadly virus that is transmitted through sexual contact, in the end, wasn’t motivation enough to take safe sex and condoms seriously. A scientific knowledge of how this virus is transmitted couldn’t combat the moralistic “ban” on condoms, including the United States eight-year ban on comprehensive sex education under President Bush Jr.
It really disgusts me. Sexual evolution is a slow and- in modern times- needlessly painful process. I know I view sexual health through the lens of my own infection, which occurred very early in my life and caused me to adapt to the reality of being infectious and juggling that with my own sexual urges. I’ve made it work, and have a partner in Gwenn who is HIV negative, open to talking about sex, and we have a relationship that is healthy and keeps her safe.
So what happens when the gel becomes available? Does she have to ingest pills (birth control) and cram medication up her vagina just so my penis can enjoy a little extra sensitivity? And, in the end, is that fair?
Ultimately, the game changer needs to be an adjustment of the time-honored, religiously backed theory that man is superior to woman, and that man knows better and is to be obeyed. We are all biological equals- gay, straight, white, black, female, male, hermaphrodite, whatever the case may be. What HIV has taught us over the last twenty years is that, when it comes to sexual decision-making, the male has proven to be unqualified for the role of sexual decision-maker.
And, if anything, our excitement and hopes over this new gel only proves that point.
Positively Yours,
Shawn
Watch, Friend and Follow me on:
YouTube, Facebook and Twitter
Website: ShawnandGwenn.com Also check out the lovely Gwenn’s Fashion/Coffee Blog
Like what you’ve read? Then buy me an iced mocha or check out my new CD: Synthetic Division, A Symptom of Life, which is now on iTunes!
SHARE THE BLOG. NOT THE VIRUS.
I Am Middle-Aged
July 19, 2010
On Friday I turned 35- my Mom took some joy in telling me that I am officially middle-aged now. She laughed, not in the normal teasing manner that someone does when you pass American society’s age of relevance- 23. She chuckled as if to say, “Can you believe this shit? It really is something.”
Usually my birthday is a big to do. But for the last couple of years I’ve laid a little low. And leading into this year, I really didn’t want to do anything. I’d booked a Synthetic Division show at a fetish night in DC called Bound, and as it neared I regretted the advanced planning that happened to fall on my birthday. In all honesty, I think I’ve been depressed for about three weeks, but figure the internet has enough pissing and moaning without me piling on.
The last time I played Bound was in the summer of 2007, a month before my last CD, Get With the Programs, came out. As Friday’s birthday show neared, I quietly wished I’d had no plans, but felt better when I tried on my white suit- which I hadn’t worn on stage since the last time at Bound three years ago. When I fit into the white pants, my mood improved.
Middle-aged, indeed.
Before heading to DC, Gwenn and I met our friend Lauren at Calvino Cafe for coffee. I was greeted by the owner, Katie, who handed me a gift certificate from Josh, one of my best buddies who’d joined me for the Synthetic Division tour in May. Not only that, when I woke up I had dozens and dozens of birthday well-wishes on Facebook, text messages and email, one of which included a weekend’s worth of iced mocha sponsorships- thanks Scott Kramer! As I was sipping my mocha, Katie and her daughter, Arianna, approached with a piece of cake with a candle in it, and all my coffee mates sang “Happy Birthday” as I blushed.
It was great.
At the show, me, Gwenn, Marshall and his girlfriend Anne K gave out over 200 One condoms. And we had a really good show. After our set, a very nice woman was talking with Gwenn at the merch table, and she saw the one copy of My Pet Virus I’d brought. She turned to me, then to Gwenn, and asked, “Is that him?” She’d read the book a few years ago, and told me how much she loved it and how she could relate to the medical aspects because she has Crohn’s Disease. “Well, it’s not the same,” she started, and I said, “Feeling bad is feeling bad, no matter what name they put on it.”
When she bought a messenger bag and asked me to sign it I wrote, “To a fellow survivor”… she smiled brightly, gave me a big thumb’s up and a hug, and then went on her way.
On the way home at 2 am from DC, Gwenn and I stopped into the same Wawa we always do when we are traveling to or from the capitol. There was a Happy Birthday display set up, and I couldn’t resist cheesing out in front of it. My birthday ended up being a day and a night that I desperately needed… and the rest of the weekend was much of the same. If this beginning is what middle-aged is, then..
Bring.
It.
On.
Positively Yours,
Shawn
Watch, Friend and Follow me on:
YouTube, Facebook and Twitter
Website: ShawnandGwenn.com Also check out the lovely Gwenn’s Fashion/Coffee Blog
Like what you’ve read? Then buy me an iced mocha or check out my new CD: Synthetic Division, A Symptom of Life, which is now on iTunes!
SHARE THE BLOG. NOT THE VIRUS.
Results of Labtest Contest… (Drum Roll)
July 16, 2010
I’m not flashing a gang symbol for my HIV positive group of surly thugs, The Tainted Bloods, I’m actually showing you my latest t-cell count: yup, 511 t-cells! Woo hoo! While technically it’s a lower number than last posted (570-something) four months ago, it’s basically the same since t-cells fluctuate.
I’ll take it. Especially since I was expecting the number to dip into the 400′s, due to my feelings of exhaustion and general malaise as of late.
But the count is only half the story here. The headline to this blog post is that the great Charles Oliff has been dethroned. As suspected, starting a family distracted the champ, and there was a challenger waiting in the wings for a moment of glory… and that challenger-turned-champ is none other than Aimee Lee, who guessed 515 (“My guess is 515. (But secretly I hope its 700!!!” she wrote), missing the count by four little t-birds.
Not too shabby! Aimee, congratulations. Your winning prizes of the Lauren Hoffman CD and the Synthetic Division CD will be mailed next week. Hope you enjoy them, and be on the lookout for the next Labtest Contest in November and the chance to make history by defending the title.
Okay, this is my first blog entry as a 35 year-old. Thanks to everyone on Facebook for the birthday wishes. Thanks to life for continuing, and thanks to Gwenn for taking care of me and giving my little t-cells the extra boost they need to keep fighting the good fight inside my body.
Positively Yours,
Shawn
PS… check out my fellow Tainted Blood gang member, Sean Strub, and his blog post on how a side effect of one of his HIV medication contributed to a broken ankle. Mend well, Sean!
Watch, Friend and Follow me on:
YouTube, Facebook and Twitter
Website: ShawnandGwenn.com Also check out the lovely Gwenn’s Fashion/Coffee Blog
Like what you’ve read? Then buy me an iced mocha or check out my new CD: Synthetic Division, A Symptom of Life, which is now on iTunes!
SHARE THE BLOG. NOT THE VIRUS.
Reaction to National HIV/AIDS Strategy
July 15, 2010
On Tuesday the National HIV/AIDS Strategy was released to much fanfare before the White House’s reception dinner for the AIDS community later in the evening- the first of it’s kind since the epidemic hit this country well over two decades ago.
We’ve come a long way since the first president to confront the emerging crisis- Reagan- refused to even acknowledge HIV, let alone the people who’s lives were being altered and taken by the virus. Proof was in the pudding on Tuesday that things have changed, especially when the Department of Health and Human Services Secretary, Kathleen Sebelius, uttered the “c” word- condom- in her briefing about the strategy.
I made a desperate attempt to weasel my way to Washington through this very blog and bragging about how many views it gets. I begged, actually- grovelled is probably a better word. And I still couldn’t score an invite to the historic gathering of positoids at the White House. So I did what anyone in my position would do: I went into the mountains and got hopped up on hallucinogens to deal with my feelings of rejection.
This is what I recorded.
Actually, that’s not my voice or precious experience in the video. But it’s contents provide some clues as to how we as the AIDS community should respond to this new strategy and lovefest with the attention the White House is investing in our cause, in our lives. The strategy is full of old ideas and goals that so many of us have been working towards for years now. We can’t be overwhelmed by the thought of a US President caring about people with AIDS who live in this country; in fact, to get further funding to continue life-saving programs like ADAP, we have to encourage our elected officials to recognize that we live in their voting district- and that we do vote.
In that regard, Barack needs us just as much- if not more- than we need him.
If we don’t take this incredible opportunity then we may as well be tripping out in the mountains, crying over double rainbows while our fellow positoids continue to die while waiting for their live-saving treatments. Because if the political pendulum swings mightily in the other direction in 2012, then we all will be packing our bags, replacing our HIV meds with mushrooms, and heading for the hills.
Positively Yours,
Shawn
Watch, Friend and Follow me on:
YouTube,
Facebook and Twitter
Website: ShawnandGwenn.com
Also check out
the lovely Gwenn’s
Fashion/Coffee Blog
Like
what you’ve read? Then buy me
an iced mocha or check
out my new CD:
Synthetic Division, A Symptom of Life, which is now
on iTunes!
SHARE
THE BLOG. NOT THE VIRUS.
Girls Just Wanna Have Safe Sex
July 13, 2010
Gwenn sporting her Fashion Against AIDS shirt at coffee the other day. I thought the picture was too damn cute- and poignant- not to post here.
Here’s to hoping that frank discussions about safer sex are a part of the White House’s National AIDS Strategy, which is being released today. Guess we’ll have to stay tuned and find out… I’ll blog about the release soon, and release the t-cell Labtest Contest results on Thursday. In Harry Potter Alliance news, at midnight they were clearly ahead in the vote, just waiting for the results to be verified. As long as there are no hanging chads all looks good- thanks so much to everyone who voted.
Be back in a day or so.
Positively Yours,
Shawn
Watch, Friend and Follow me on:
YouTube, Facebook and Twitter
Website: ShawnandGwenn.com Also check out the lovely Gwenn’s Fashion/Coffee Blog
Like what you’ve read? Then buy me an iced mocha or check out my new CD: Synthetic Division, A Symptom of Life, which is now on iTunes!
SHARE THE BLOG. NOT THE VIRUS.
life in photos
I am frightened by ceilings. A terrible phobia to have.
Today's assortment of treats: tea for Gwenn, a mocha for me and a cookie to share.
My buddy Sharanya preparing my mocha with just an extra dash of love.
Hanging on wall in our guest bedroom. Couldn't agree more!
Speaking About Sexual Health
Since 2000, Shawn and Gwenn have been speaking about sexual health together, sharing their personal story and empowering others to be safe. If you are interested in having them speak at your event, fill out the Contact Us form.
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It will be the funniest book you've ever read about someone having AIDS... guaranteed!