Miss America Interview in Poz
March 31, 2010
I had the privilege of interviewing Caressa Cameron, Miss America, for the new issue of Poz magazine, which is now on their site for you to enjoy… so go, enjoy! Wait, need a teaser?
Well, I’m good at teasing, so here you go. One of the questions I asked Miss America was whether or not she’d ever been banned from using the word “condom” when going to talk about HIV/AIDS:
“Absolutely.
They would send me a list of what I could and could not say. I would
have to then find the “right words” that would get the message of what
I had to say across without actually saying the no-no words..” – read the rest of Caressa’s interview here!
Positively Yours,
Shawn
Shawn on: 
ShawnandGwenn.com Shawn’s Poz columns Shawn’s Sick Days in 2010: 6 Shawn’s book Decker’s Daily Coffee
Share the Blog. Not the Virus.
Happy Birthday, Dab
March 29, 2010
I spend a lot of time on Facebook, and one of the features is that there is a big (or little) list of peoples’ birthdays, which are either happening, or coming up in the next few days. Occasionally I look at it- sometimes by accident, and will then go post on somebody’s page- “Happy birthday!”
With the internet ever-present these days, I think it’s important for those of us who are “plugged in” to unplug every once in a while. I struggle with that sometimes, since a quick check of my cyber status is always in my pocket on the iPhone… no, wait, I never put it in my pocket, because it would take too long to get it out- needs to be sitting right there in front of me…
See what I’m saying?
Either way, I digress.
I’m sure I miss a lot of key birthdays and am never the wiser for it. But that’s okay, because the
key ones wouldn’t begrudge me for not posting on their Facebook page. Yesterday I was caught up in the Wrestlemania madness, which meant I was online less, and not for the self-preservation reasons mentioned above. In being out of the cyber-loop, I missed Dab Garner’s birthday.
Dab is known in the AIDS community and beyond as the founder of the Dab the AIDS Bear Project, and is an all-around great guy. He used cute bears and a winning personality to raise awareness about HIV, and inspire people who are already positive to use their talents to help in the cause. He stays connected to the legislative battles that affect people with HIV as well. I had the honor of meeting Dab in person last year during World AIDS Week in December, after getting to know him online.
Since I missed his birthday on Facebook, I didn’t want to miss an opportunity to give him a big, public “bear hug” (as he likes to doll out cyberly) here on the ol’ Poz blog. Thanks for all you do, Dab. Us positoids and negatoids are real lucky to have ya.
Positively Yours,
Shawn
Happy birthday to everyone on Facebook (and beyond) who has been- or will soon be- offended that I missed their birthday.
Shawn on:
ShawnandGwenn.com Shawn’s Poz columns Shawn’s Sick Days in 2010: 6 Shawn’s book Decker’s Daily Coffee
Share the Blog. Not the Virus.
The HIV Positive T-shirt
March 27, 2010
Have you seen them? I first saw one when Annie Lennox sported it. Have a look at this video to hear her explain why she is trying to break down the stigma that is helping HIV continue to thrive.
About a week or so ago, Gwenn saw on Facebook that our friends at the AIDS Taskforce of Greater Cleveland were using shirts similar to this to raise awareness about the stigma surrounding HIV and show support for those living in silence who are afraid to disclose. It’s mission was to provoke discussion about the topic.
For me, well, the t-shirt rings a little true. Anytime I wear it, I better be ready to tell my story and talk about the success I’ve had with HIV prevention- all because Gwenn and I know our status and what it takes to keep them poz and neg, respectively. The shirt not only looks cool, it is also a good opportunity to talk about the decade I chose not to talk about my status, one of the main reasons being the fear of being treated differently.
So thanks for Earl Pike of the AIDS Taskforce for heading up this idea within a circle of which I could participate. Next time I hear of anything like this, I’ll throw it out to you all- would be great to see all the shirts and read the stories about the interesting conversations and reactions one gets from wearing a shirt with “HIV” on it.
My favorite from this go around was short and sweet. A young lady wrote on Earl’s Facebook Wall: “I wore my t-shirt today expecting to get a lot of stares and
confused looks, instead a person that is special to me told me they were
positive.” Can you imagine the relief that friend felt? Finally being able to disclose to someone.
Never underestimate the power of a great t-shirt. Or a great message.
Positively Yours,
Shawn
To purchase a shirt with a similar design to the one Shawn and Gwenn are wearing above, click here.
Shawn on:
ShawnandGwenn.com Shawn’s Poz columns Shawn’s Sick Days in 2010: 6 Shawn’s book Decker’s Daily Coffee
Share the Blog. Not the Virus.
What Health Care Reform Means to Thinbloods
March 25, 2010
So the Health Care Bill finally passed the House, to much chagrin and fanfare. It’s one of those two America moments; you either love it or hate it. Like the hit TV series Alf, or those corndogs wrapped in pancakes.
For fear of persecution, I won’t say how I feel about an awkward alien that eats cats or the corndog on steroids. As for health care? Well, I wrote a column for Poz that explained why I’m in the love it category when it comes to the need for something new. My monthly premium is $1400 because I had the misfortune of being born with hemophilia, infected with HIV as a kid and was unintentionally kicked off my parents’ coverage (around the time my HIV diagnosis progressed to an AIDS diagnosis) when I was supposed to be covered for life as a disabled child.
You win some, you lose some.
The Bill that passed the House isn’t perfect, but at least it’s the promise of something different than what’s happening now. Which is that some kids with hemophilia- I call us all thinbloods- reach their lifetime insurance caps before they reach high school, or even junior high school. Here’s how the National Hemophilia Foundation breaks down the benefits of the eventual passage of health care reform.
- Eliminate lifetime caps in all – new and existing – health insurance
plans 6 months after enactment - Eliminate rescissions in all health insurance plans 6 months after
enactment - Extend coverage for dependents – who could stay on a parent or
guardian’s insurance plan until age 26 – in all health insurance plans 6
months after enactment - Restrict annual caps in new plans before 2014, and then eliminate
them in all new plans and existing group plans in 2014 - Eliminate pre-existing conditions exclusions for children in new
plans 6 months after enactment, and for all people in all plans in 2014
For more on advocacy for people living with hemophilia, visit the Hemophilia Federation of America (HFA).
The argument I’m hearing most is that people simply don’t want to pay more in taxes. That this will affect the job market in a negative way. My argument is that our health care system lags sorely behind many other countries. It’s time to apply methods used elsewhere- and perfect them. Make other countries want to adopt what we’re doing. None of us wants to hear- or live through- stories about how the current model chews up people and spits them out, all for playing by the rules that have been laid out…
I try to view this whole “debate” with an open mind, but I only have one set of eyes. They are not the eyes of a policy wonk or an expert on politics. They are just the eyes of someone who has experienced a lot of sick days in their life. And the fact is that, for the most part, I’m getting by, thanks to a convoluted system that has mandated the use of convoluted measures.
Based on the Health Care Reform Bill, in 2014 I may be assessed on my actual health, instead of my impressive medical resume, which is the equivalent of applying for a short-order cook position at Chile’s with multiple manslaughter convictions on your record. But my own personal situation isn’t really why I support reform. As I said, I get by. It’s what is happening to others. I believe there is a way to deal with the problems we’ve created in health care- and I hope the message of prevention and what we can all do to take better care of ourselves, becomes part of the dialogue.
If it does?
Than that would be a big f’ing deal. Because it would actually make cents and sense.
Positively Yours,
Shawn
Right now Bob McDonnell, the new Governor of Virginia, is signing documents that could make the passage of Health Care Reform null and void in the Commonwealth of Virginia.
(See the Richmond Times article for full-story.)
Be sure to check out Poz Blogger Larry Bryant’s recent entry on Health Care Reform, and get well, Oriol, a fellow Poz blogger who’s been under the weather.
Shawn on:
ShawnandGwenn.com Shawn’s Poz columns Shawn’s Sick Days in 2010: 6 Shawn’s book Decker’s Daily Coffee
Share the Blog. Not the Virus.
K-Y Ask Why?
March 21, 2010
While flipping through a copy of Real Simple in bed one night, Gwenn came across a contest for K-Y lube called “K-Y Couples Place”. Couples and fans of the K-Y product were invited to submit a 300-word essay on their relationship, after which 10 couples would be chosen and voted on, the winners receiving a $1000 trip to NYC and a public lubing in Times Square.
Okay, I made up the last part.
Anyway, Gwenn and I have used our fair share of lube over the last decade, so we figured, “Why not enter?” Gwenn wrote in, but we didn’t make the Top 10. The couples that beat us can be found on the K-Y Couples Facebook page. (Bravo to K-Y for selecting a same-sex couple- almost makes up for dissing us.)
“You can’t win them all,” I told Gwenn as I held her in my arms. Not wanting her beautiful words to go to waste, I’ve decided to post her submission here.
“
Shawn and I met when I was in graduate school. We both worked in sexual health, which made us fast friends and gave us an opportunity to talk about sex freely. When we started having deeper feelings for one another, it was nice to have those talks under our belt before we got under the covers, so to speak.
I love and admire my partner, Shawn, for so many reasons. He was diagnosed with a life threatening illness- HIV- as a child, and faced so much discrimination growing up. But he never gave up, and as an adult he has dedicated his life to educating others. I’m so thankful he did, for if he hadn’t, we would have never met and fallen in love.
Communication and trust are key in our relationship, which is now in it’s tenth year, including six years of being happily married. I’m HIV negative, and we speak to college students about how I stay that way, using condoms correctly with lubrication. Basically, we educate about we know to be true in our personal lives: sex can be safe and fun, as it should be.
One of the best things about our relationship is the amount of time we get to spend with one another. Since we travel for work, we find ourselves in somewhat unromantic places: an airport, a traffic jam in an unfamiliar city, you get the picture. But we are always quick to find humor in what we call “our little adventures”, and, upon our return home, it always fun to sleep in our own bed. Best of all is the comfort I feel in being with a partner that I trust absolutely.
I wouldn’t have it any other way.“
Goddammit that is beautiful. I’m totally biased, I know, but how could that be passed up? What’s up, K-Y? Of course I had to go read the other couples’ entries and nothing compares- not a single damn word or sentiment… I mean… well… okay, I have to admit something: I wrote that in Gwenn’s voice.
But hey, she approved it! I can’t help it if I’m the writer in the relationship. And I can’t exactly boycott K-Y over this slight. That would be like cutting off my balls to spite my taint. Life will go on- lube will continue to be used and, as Gwenn (I) wrote, she wouldn’t have it any other way.
Positively Yours,
Shawn
Shawn on:
ShawnandGwenn.com Shawn’s Poz columns Shawn’s Sick Days in 2010: 6 Shawn’s book Decker’s Daily Coffee
Share the Blog. Not the Virus.
Decker’s Daily reaches 300th Episode
March 20, 2010
And they said I’d never last!
Thanks to today’s sponsor, Nina Martinez, who kindly sponsored Gwenn as well…
You can see Nina in Decker’s Daily episode 141, or click below to follow her on Twitter!
Thanks to everyone who has sent a mocha my way since this journey began last year. The idea was all Gwenn. The mochas are much appreciated!
Positively Yours,
Shawn
Shawn on:
ShawnandGwenn.com Shawn’s Poz columns Shawn’s Sick Days in 2010: 6 Shawn’s book Decker’s Daily Coffee
Share the Blog. Not the Virus.
Depeche Mode’s Violator Turns 20
March 19, 2010
Today marks the 20-year anniversary of the release (UK) of Depeche Mode’s career-defining album, Violator. It’s safe to say that no other album has had quite the same impact on my life as this one.
I discovered Depeche Mode a year or so before this album’s release. I was 13, and two years before I’d tested positive for HIV. After finding out about Depeche Mode through the tape deck of a friend’s older brother, who was giving me a ride home, I was hooked: I mail-ordered buttons, purchased their entire catalogue up to that point, and had pretty much determined- without a shadow of a doubt- that Depeche Mode were the greatest band to ever walk the Earth.
So when Violator came out and Depeche Mode were everywhere- MTV, mainstream news due to a riotous album signing at Tower Records in Los Angeles- that made sense to me. Anything less would have been odd.
The same year that Violator came out, I was nearing the end of my freshman year in high school. One day my mother asked me if there was anything I’d like to do… before I died. I didn’t view myself as sick, or nearing the end, but I did understand that my days were more likely to be numbered than those of my peers.
For me, the answer was simple: I wanted to meet Depeche Mode.
In those days, I never wanted to think about HIV- there were no Labtest Contests or self-deprecating jokes about my HIV status. In fact my mother had to lie to me to get me in the car so she could take me to the hospital to get those tests done. I hated them. Because those were really the days when I felt my days were numbered. One of the ways I chose to escape my reality was through music: headphones, a synthesizer, and a steady diet of Depeche Mode, the Cure, Public Image Ltd.,They Might Be Giants, New Order, the Smiths… before conventional HIV meds my alternative “medication” was, well, alternative music.
And I won’t lie, it really hit the spot. Or, as Morrissey sang in “Interesting Drug”: “Interesting drug, the one that you took, God, it really really helped you.”
Today, my love for music is still strong, and it includes making it under the name Synthetic Division. Admittedly, this often takes the backseat to HIV education, writing, blogging- pretty much everything else in my life. But this year, I’ve decided to commemorate my survival and, in a way, honor Depeche Mode’s, too, by releasing some new music that combines all of these areas of my life. You only get one shot to celebrate the 20-year anniversary of your dying wish, they say.
I’ll be posting more soon about that project soon.
But right now it’s about honoring Depeche Mode’s survival. They continue to tour and make solid albums. But it’s always Violator that finds its way into my car’s CD player when Gwenn and I are taking a long road trip somewhere to talk about HIV. And those long journeys always seem a little shorter with “Policy of Truth” and “Personal Jesus” blasting from the speakers. In the grandest journey of all- life – I’m happy that Depeche Mode has provided the soundtrack to some of the most confusing and joyous moments.
God, they’ve really, really helped me.
Plus- how fucking cool is it that I got to meet Depeche Mode through the Make-A-Wish Foundation? That’s a story I’ll get to tell for the rest of my hopefully long life. So thanks Depeche Mode, and thanks 14-year old Shawn for that wise-beyond-your-years choice which, like Violator itself, has stood the test of time.
Positively Yours,
Shawn
Shawn on:
ShawnandGwenn.com Shawn’s Poz columns Shawn’s Sick Days in 2010: 6 Shawn’s book Decker’s Daily Coffee
Share the Blog. Not the Virus.
T-Cell Champion’s Victory Speech
March 17, 2010
Charles Oliff, winner of the Labtest Contest, proved that he’s not only in tune with my t-cell count, but that he’s also in tune with the people. Here’s Charles’ victory speech- which he admits may have been influenced by his recent viewing of the Oscars.
“I would first like to thank the poz blog, for giving me a place to comment my guess. I would like to thank Shawn Decker for his awesome book and music – without which, I might never have followed his twitter feed and seen the contest. I would also like to thank my fellow contestants – for we are all winners here in having Shawn’s numbers be good.
Thank you, thank you, I will wear the t-shirt with pride.”
- Charles Oliff, Labtest Contest Champion
No, thank you, Charles. For being a true Renaissance man by already owning a copy of My Pet Virus and Synthetic Division, Get With the Programs. I look forward to a long reign by such a classy, cultured champion such as yourself. Here’s to many more contests to come. Your shirt is on the way!
Positively Yours,
Shawn
Shawn on:
ShawnandGwenn.com Shawn’s Poz columns Shawn’s Sick Days in 2010: 6 Shawn’s book Decker’s Daily Coffee
Share the Blog. Not the Virus.
The Winner of the Labtest Contest Is…
March 16, 2010
All of us, really. I was so happy to see so many people take a guess at my t-cells in the Labtest Contest, and it was quite dramatic each time a Poz Comment came in. The ebb and flow was tremendous- so much better than that damn Clottey Pacquiao fight last Saturday.
The Labtest Contest was such a success that I made a logo!
But, like most contests, this contest saw it’s fair share of controversies…
You may notice the last Poz Blog Comment at this time is from “Shawn Decker”- now, despite appearances I didn’t vote for myself, because I already knew the results. And why would I vote wrongly, anyway? What happened was, a friend had tried to vote several times, so I posted his guess, typing in the name “Carlo”, which didn’t appear since I was logged in. Apparently, no matter who is trying to post his guess, my Comments section just hates the name “Carlo” and will refuse to post it.
My apologies to the vast Carlo readership.
Next time, however, I will be voting on behalf of myself. Of course, I’ll do so before I get the lab results back. So look out, I’ll be defending my books, CDs and Screw Smarter t-shirts from the contestants, kind of like Win Ben Stein’s Money.
Another controversy was the first disqualification ever in my Labtest Contest, due to a direct violation of the stated Official Rules. Okay, well it wasn’t in the actual rules, but I feel a disqualification of last week’s Positoid of the Day, Nina Martinez, was in order when she voted outside of the range (450-600) I’d given as a clue. Harsh? Yes, and I understand if my actions against a Positoid of the Day divides the AIDS community. I plan future Labtest Contests due to the overwhelming (okay, I could handle the response) response and protecting the integrity of the game is of the utmost importance.
Nina knows I’m just picking on her.
So, without further ado- my most recent t-cell count was… 565! With an undetectable viral load. Great news! Yay for me! … Oh, who won? Well, that distinct honor goes to the second to last vote (including the “Carlo” scandal)- an under the wire guess of 567, just two little t-cells off the mark:
Charles Oliff
(Honorable Mentions: Dorian Alexander, Ophelia De Serres, Mason Taylor, Amber)
So congratulations, Charles! You are the King of my T-cells, and you will reign until the next contest in July. Feel free to post a victory speech on the Comments section, and also let me know which prize (My Pet Virus, Synthetic Division CD or a Screw Smarter t-shirt) you would like.
Thanks again to all who participated and watched this contest dramatically unfold!
Positively Yours,
Shawn
Shawn on:
ShawnandGwenn.com Shawn’s Poz columns Shawn’s Sick Days in 2010: 6 Shawn’s book Decker’s Daily Coffee
Share the Blog. Not the Virus.
MTV’s Staying Alive Foundation
March 15, 2010
No, it’s about that Staying Alive… MTV’s Staying Alive Foundation is dedicated to HIV prevention and youth-driven messages, giving out grants to young educators determined to prevent the continued- and needless- infection of their peers.
Before becoming a grant-giving foundation, Staying Alive was a series of yearly HIV/AIDS programs that aired around the world on World AIDS Day, starting in 1999. In 2000, Gwenn and I had the daunting honor of representing the HIV epidemic in North America- no pressure- for Staying Alive 2. It was an interesting time for us: we’d been living together for a year, I’d “upgraded” to an AIDS diagnosis and started on HIV meds, which helped me get better but were wearing me down with side effects.
When the filmmakers from Staying Alive showed up, I had just stopped my first combination of medications, and was about to begin my second regimen, the hope being that the side effects would be more tolerable. (They were.) It’s a strange thing having that moment documented, and how the passing of a positoid pal who’d long before encouraged me to start meds, Stephen Gendin, inspired me to buck up.
I forget how harrowing those days were. I just put the blinders on, did what I had to do and thanked my lucky stars I had a good doctor, a great partner and an excellent chance to get through a rough patch in my health. Some of the other people living with HIV around the world, also featured in the Staying Alive 2 program, weren’t as fortunate.
Here’s our clip from the show: try to ignore my bleach blond do which, unfortunately, I can’t blame on the side effects of HIV drugs…
Staying Alive 2 from mtv staying alive on Vimeo.
Last Monday, which was International Women’s Day, was an absolute thrill, because I finally got to meet Georgia Arnold, the producer of the program we appeared in, who is now the Senior Vice President of the Staying Alive Foundation. She found me on Twitter last year, and wrote something to the effect of, “Hey!!! Remember me?!” It was great to get back in touch on Twitter, which has been awesome for me in regard to corresponding with champions from across the pond as of late.
Georgia was in DC for the International Center for Research on Women’s celebration of Women’s Day, where Bill Roedy, the Chairman and Chief Executive Officer of MTV International, was honored for his commitment to Staying Alive. He is such a great guy, and it was nice to chat with the only other guy in the room besides me wearing ultra-casual sneakers. (It said dress “festive” for the event, we both agreed that being comfortable was key, especially after seeing Georgia carrying her heels in hand at the end of the evening.)
During Bill’s speech, he said something to the effect of: ““I believe in the
media’s power to be a force for good.” I believe it, too. And am happy that Bill uses his position to back up that belief by supporting Staying Alive’s mission to raise awareness about the HIV epidemic.
Now, if Bill could just call the US offices in NYC and do something about that Snooki…
Positively Yours and Happy to be Staying Alive,
Shawn
Don’t forget to vote in my Labtest Contest! Voting ends Monday, March 15 at midnight EST, winner announced on blog tomorrow. Good luck!
Shawn on:
ShawnandGwenn.com Shawn’s Poz columns Shawn’s Sick Days in 2010: 6 Shawn’s book Decker’s Daily Coffee
Share the Blog. Not the Virus.
Gwenn's Fashion Blog: A Latte Style
Decker's Daily On Tumblr
Help Shawn and Gwenn
Since 2000, Shawn and Gwenn have been speaking about sexual health together, sharing their personal story and empowering others to be safe. If you are interested in having them speak at your event, fill out the Contact Us form.
Check out Shawn's music and new CD! The purchase of which goes toward the purchase of his life-saving HIV medications.