My 2008 Person of the Year
January 13, 2009
It’s a little late, but unlike others, I take this Person of the Year stuff seriously. I don’t rush the decision in the waning days of 2008 to get airtime or press like everyone else.
No, while they are out cosmic bowling and partying, looking ahead to 2009, I’m crunching numbers, trying to figure out who had the biggest impact of 2008. Who came from little-to-no expectations and then shocked an unexpecting world?
Of course, Michael Phelps dominated sports, setting an Olympic record for most medals won. But take him out of the pool and his credentials start to get a little soggy. Barack Obama battled Hilary Clinton, then a triple threat match against McCain, Palin and Joe the Plumber.
Still, he was a state senator. It wasn’t a shock this time around that a senator would take the White House, since he and McCain were both senators.
That only leaves one person. My pick for 2008′s Person of the Year: Mike “The Miz”!
The former Real World star (talk about overcoming adversity) could have kept himself going with paid appearances at Miami/Vegas bar openings and Real World/Road Rules challenges. But no, he wasn’t content with that. He pursued his dream to be a professional wrestler, joining World Wrestling Entertainment.
Not only did he win the WWE Tag Team Championship with his partner, John Morrison, he also took the WWE’s coveted Slammy Award for Best Tag Team, a nod to his work with Morrison, who would overshadow most tag team partners.
Not the Miz. In 2008 no one, in or out of the ring, could compare.
I was leaning towards The Miz before the Slammys, but after he snagged the award I thought I’d look pretty damn stupid overlooking him here. Plus, he’s already having a Hulkamania-esque effect on young kids, who are idolizing him. Check this out.
More children will grow up to be wrestlers than presidents, too.
So there you have it, my Person of the Year for 2008, Mike The Miz. Here’s to hoping he defends not only his tag team title, but his title as my Person of the Year as well.
Positively Yours,
Shawn
P.S. Several friends visited me over the weekend and surprised me with a Rickrolling intervention. I promised them, as I promise you now: no more Rickrolling. I know I have a lot of trust left to earn, but it’s early in the year and I only need to look to my pick for 2008 Person of the Year for inspiration.
Rickrolling Victim Speaks Out
January 11, 2009
I felt bad about Rickrolling my friend and then exploiting his pain as Blog fodder. So I decided to interview Irvin, so he could lend his voice and face to pain of the the millions upon millions of RVs (Rickroll Victim) out there.
When I Rickrolled you, what were you doing?
I just sat down to eat lunch.
How did you feel?
A bit confused, I was still waiting for the stroller safety video. Then a smile spread across my face.
Had you ever been Rickrolled before?
Never, I didn’t know about “Rickrolling” before.
Would you ever consider Rickrolling someone? Rickstrolling?
Yes, maybe you. I think I’ll have to wait at least a couple years to catch you by surprise, then bam, you’ve been Rickrolled Bitch.
Don’t hate the player, hate the game. Thank you for your time, Irvin.
I really wanted to get behind Irvin as “the Face of Rickrolling”, I think his program would be a big hit on college campuses. But he never responded to my request for a black and white photo of himself not smiling.
Maybe he’s not ready. Or maybe the above was all Irvin had to give. If that’s the case, I hope that we all understand Rickrolling, and the consequences, a little bit better. I know I do.
Positively Yours,
Shawn
To learn more about Irvin, click here.
Don’t Get Rickrolled
January 9, 2009
I got my friend back. The one who sent me that blind link to Stewie from the Family Guy… how did I do so? I “Rickrolled” him.
What is Rickrolling? It’s telling somebody that a link leads to something they may find of interest, but instead they click and find themselves watching the video to Rick Astley’s late-80′s hit song, “Never Gonna Give You Up”.
This started on April Fool’s Day in 2008, when every video link on YouTube went to this song.
Need another example? Let’s say the subject of this blog was “Cure for AIDS Found!” And the only link posted on the blog went to this… you would have been the victim of an exceptionally harsh Rickrolling.
So how did I get my friend, who happens to be a new daddy? I posted on his Facebook page that I’d come across a Consumer Reports tutorial on stroller safety. As a good daddy, I knew he’d have to click. He got a face full of Astley. I like to think he got “Rickstrolled.“
In a related item, there’s been a huge controversy in the selection of Rick Warren, “America’s Pastor!”, to give the Inaugural Prayer in Washington DC for Obama’s first day on the job. An article entitled “Rick Warren’s Double Life”, was recently posted over at The Daily Beast, and discusses Warren’s bad record when it comes to gay rights.
The most quotable line from Warren demands reposting here:
“Here’s an interesting thing: there are about 2% of Americans [who] are homosexual, gay, lesbian people. We should not let two percent of the population determine—to change a definition of marriage that has been supported by every single culture and every single religion for 5,000 years. This is not even just a Christian issue, it is a humanitarian and human issue, that God created marriage for the purpose of family, love and procreation. I urge you to support Proposition 8 and to pass that on.”
He gave this speech to 22,000 people on the eve of Obama’s big win in November.
I don’t think one can be “America’s Pastor” if they refuse to represent the interests and rights of 2 percent of the population, but the media and the new administration continue to saddle him with that title.
It’s basically another form of Rickrolling, really. And, just like the Rick Astley prank, all it takes is one click to figure out what’s really happening to you.
Positively Yours,
Shawn
PS… gay guys, for nude photos of Brad Pitt, click here.
Straight guys? Nude photos of Eva Mendes are here. Ladies? Hot Rick Astley action right this way.
Not the Follow-Up to My Pet Virus
January 6, 2009
For a brief moment, I considered writing more funny AIDS stories for my second literary venture. With My Pet Virus’ sales gasping at this point, I’m glad I opted to focus my creative energy elsewhere.
Don’t get me wrong, the book did well. The response has been incredible, I still get messages from high school students who have done a book report on MPV, people whose families dealt with the hemophilia/HIV one-two punch, and just people who like Depeche Mode, Ric Flair, and a twisted sense of humor.
And I’m still waiting for recognition from the scientific community for my work in My Pet Virus, the chief accomplishment being the discovery of RDS (Restless Dick Syndrome), which affects 100% of men.
But I regress. I’m fang-deep into the vampire book, and am happy that I challenged myself to write fiction, and am hoping to have some news in the near future about details. Hell, if it doesn’t get picked up, look for a really long blog entry called, “Shawn’s Second Book”.
In the meantime, Gwenn pointed out a not-so-funny AIDS book that came up on our google alert. It’s called “How I Became Mr. HIV”. It’s not an inspiring tale about an all-male pageant in which all the money from the event goes to orphans of the AIDS epidemic. It’s about a man who becomes infected and goes on a rampage to infect as many people as possible.
Here’s an excerpt from the press release, linked above if you want more:
“In a world where women and girls are viewed as sex objects by male predators. “And women are taught tricks of the trade, to entice men by reason of appearance.” This is a must-read if you are interested in warning or saving your children. Imagine being infected with the HIV virus. The cause of AIDS, but instead of seeking treatment, you sought revenge upon every soul that was not infected. Learn the incredible story of one such person. John Turner lashed out at humanity because of his affliction. This is the person your parents should have warned you about.”
Gee, and I had to find out about this after Christmas? Would have been on the top of my (shit) list.
Anyway, my apologies to the author if this comes up in your Google Alert. You probably worked real hard on this, but, seriously, some of us are trying to present positoids as actual human beings, and not as monsters. If you want to write about monsters, I suggest vampires. They’re pretty hot these days.
Positively Yours,
Shawn
Advice From Stewie
January 4, 2009
There’s the Miis of me and Gwenn. So far so good in 2009, I’ve worked out on the Wii Fit everyday this year, and my reward is that I’ve gained a pound. I like to think it’s a pound of rock hard muscle that, for now, is invisible to the naked eye.
Aside from the menage a trois love affair with the Wii Fit, I have also been working away at the second book. The deadestline is two weeks from today, just before Inauguration Day. We’ll be heading out of town for a week- a vacation that doesn’t involve speaking about having AIDS- so I have to finish before we depart.
Oh, and here’s what a friend sent me for inspiration, courtesy of The Family Guy. So true.
The link will take you to YouTube.com, so don’t freak when your browser takes a journey.
Positively Yours,
Shawn
2008 Into 2009
January 2, 2009
11:21 pm, December 31: Shawn cuddles up on couch with Gwenn. Both are lying down, watching Anderson Cooper and Kathy Griffin.
11:53 pm: Shawn doses off…
12:03 am: Shawn wakes up, sees a lot of confetti blowing around on TV.
12:06 am: Shawn craddles Gwenn, and says, “You know, we haven’t made love all year…”
Sex does not ensue, but the first joke of the year 2009 happens, and goes over well. On the first day of 2009, after I woke up and tackled the day, I walked around with my zipper down for about 3 hours: an auspicious debut that screams, “Look out New Year- I am positoid, hear me roar!”
My resolution? Better jokes with a better domestic sex/reward rate. Oh, and more blogs, more videos, new Synthetic Division songs and the completion of my second book.
But I’ll settle for nookie.
Grrrrrrrr,
Shawn
PS… below is a clip from the Anderson Cooper/Kathy Griffin New Year’s Eve special. Please escort the children from the room before enjoying.
PPS… thanks for reading this blog, and here’s to having a safe and happy new year!
Gwenn's Fashion Blog: A Latte Style
Decker's Daily On Tumblr
Help Shawn and Gwenn
Since 2000, Shawn and Gwenn have been speaking about sexual health together, sharing their personal story and empowering others to be safe. If you are interested in having them speak at your event, fill out the Contact Us form.
Check out Shawn's music and new CD! The purchase of which goes toward the purchase of his life-saving HIV medications.