Vote For My Cousin
October 16, 2008
You’ve heard all about my Make-A-Wish Foundation meeting with Depeche Mode as a young teen. Well, you may not know that I also have a cousin with hemophilia, too.
He didn’t get a Wish, because thankfully he was born a decade after me and missed the HIV blood contamination window. That’s good news, but I still feel guilty that I’m the only person in my family to get a wish, and I want to change that… but here’s the swerve: I’m not writing about my thinblooded cousin. Actually, it’s that cousin’s thickblooded big brother, Jeremy.
Jeremy, my cousin. Click to vote!
He has a very special wish- he wants to be cast in Daisy of Love, the spinoff of Rock of Love with Bret Michaels. If you’re a reality TV junkie, you may remember Daisy. If not, here she is. (Click to see a YouTube video. She talks with her hands.)
Daisy seems nice, I think she would get along famously with my cousin. Make Jeremy’s wish come true. This isn’t partisan, we can all come together around this young man’s dream to find love.
Positively Yours,
Shawn
Weddings For Fall, Weddings For All
October 14, 2008
The leaves are turning, the weather is becoming tolerable. Fall is most definitely my favorite season.
It’s also wedding season- I’ve been to two in the last two weeks, having beared witness to two of the coolest guys I know marry their loved ones. Not each other, but more on that in a bit…
What’s great about weddings is the mix of people. The first wedding, everyone I knew there- including the bride and groom- was through Bella Morte. Most of the local music were present, and I even got an ego stroke for my hard work in Synthetic Division.
Then this past weekend, Gwenn and I traveled away from the homestead to Connecticut, where I saw one of my thinblooded positoid brothers (brother in shared medical history, that is) get hitched. There, the familiar faces I saw were from hemophilia conferences, and Gwenn and I shared a table with five strangers who became fast friends- one was even a thinblood. Whereas at the first wedding, you couldn’t throw a rock and not hit a musician, at the second you couldn’t throw a rock and not hit a thinblood.
Unsurprisingly, throwing rocks would have been frowned upon at the wedding in Connecticut, where, once again, I got an ego stroke at a wedding. This time for My Pet Virus.
“You’re the guy who wrote that?” I was asked. “I have that book!”
Where am I going with this? Well, recently I got a message from someone who read my book who wasn’t happy that they’d gone to www.mypetvirus.com, which led them to a blog (here)where I was writing about- gasp!- politics.
“UGGGGGGH!” Was the first word of the message.
Well, in the last year I’ve been thinking about politics a lot. And during the Vice Presidential debate, I was upset to see both candidates take an unnecessary shot at the gay community. “I don’t support same sex marriage.” “I don’t either.”
It upset me, but then I got distracted by everything that followed, until the weddings reminded me of how unfortunate it is that people invest so much energy in either discriminating against others, or pandering to those who do. I don’t get it.
Some would say it’s because I don’t have kids.
Recently opponent of gay marriage said that it would be too hard to explain to a child. It’s the same mentality some have about talking about sex with teenagers, where the issue is more about an adult being uncomfortable than a child’s ability to apply reason to a very simple notion. In the case of gay marriage, it’s very simple: does everyone have the right to express their love for a fellow human in the same manner?
My two buddies, had they been born with an eye for the same sex, would have made a brilliant couple, for instance. To think that they wouldn’t have had the opportunity to have a wedding seems to be a great injustice to me.
It’s about a hopefully dying notion that unmarried couple aren’t legitimate. I know a lot of legit couples, of same-sex and opposite-sex stylings, who have been together longer than Gwenn and I have known each other, who for legal or their own decision have chosen not to get married. And that’s totally cool, too.
I just think everyone should have the opportunity to throw a big party- and call it a “wedding”- to celebrate that relationship should they choose to do so.
Positively Yours,
Shawn
Magic Johnson “Faked AIDS” Comment
October 10, 2008
In Minneapolis, a couple of radio cock jocks decided to talk about HIV/AIDS… here’s what happened.
“Magic with his “faked AIDS”",” Langdon Perry said. The victim of his own bad joke, apparently, because Magic responded with a statement:
“I am extremely disappointed in KTLK in Minneapolis. I am outraged that Chris Baker and Langdon Perry would minimize such a serious and deadly issue. Millions are dying from HIV/AIDS and the fact that they would make jokes about my status is unbelievable,” Johnson said. “Chris, Langdon and KTLK should use their power in a more positive light by encouraging people to get tested for this disease instead of making up such ridiculous lies.”
At my poker night, someone made a joke about Magic Johnson, calling him “Black Magic Johnson”, not in reference to his skin color, of course, but in reference to the public’s perceived notion that he is cured because he looks healthy/chubby/happy.
I laughed, guilty as charged. I still think my poker buddies would do better in radio than those guys.
Positively Yours,
Black Magic Decker
Johnny Knoxville Interviews a Wrestler
October 8, 2008
You may remember the Great Khali, I suggested him as a potential debate substitute for Sarah Palin- who held her own- last week.
Well, good thing that the McCain camp isn’t taking my advice… because recently, Johnny Knoxville interviewed The Great Khali, and things went worse then when I interviewed Ric Flair on the telephone earlier this year. Apparently, wrestlers don’t like being asked about their penises.
Positively Yours,
Shawn
A Beautiful Death
October 6, 2008
Lots of very cool things are happening. My political coverage with young Evelyn has really blown things open for me, today I’m having an interview with Richmond’s Urge Magazine- it’s actually totally unrelated but anyway…
The big debate between McCain and Obama is tomorrow, and I’m currently negotiating with Evelyn’s handlers (namely her mom, Lauren) about teaming up again. If so, I’ll post the results on Wednesday. I honestly believe that we are the best political team in the world.
In a related bit of personal news, the adoption went through and Gwenn and I are now the proud parents/legal guardians of Andy Deane, lead singer of Bella Morte.
This could be a very big mistake…
Actually, the big cheesy grins are for another reason, Bella Morte’s new album, Beautiful Death, comes out tomorrow. So swing by iTunes and give a listen to the samples there, or check out BellaMorte.com for details.
I have to go… dammit, Andy’s gotten into the cotton balls and honey again. I have no idea why we store those together, but that’s going to have to be reassessed… being a parent changes everything.
Positively Yours,
Shawn
Synthetic Division and Bella Morte… TONIGHT!
October 4, 2008
Tonight Synthetic Division plays again! And here’s that video I promised a couple of weeks ago, of us covering Depeche Mode’s “Photographic”, and early 80′s gem.
I know I look a little nerdy, but I’m a little nerdy so there you go! But before you write anything snarky, take notice at the hand on my mic stand- that’s the left hand of the last person who talked smack on the Division.
TuPac had nothing on me.
I steal a lot of my stage moves from the thickblooded frontman of Bella Morte, Andy Deane. Of course, I can’t do the jumps due to a bum ankle, but I make up for it with geek chic charm.
Speaking of Bella Morte, we’re opening for them tonight in Charlottesville, at the Outback. The Bella boys released their music video for the first single on the new album, check it out here, it’s swoon-worthy for the ladies and boys.
Positively Yours,
Shawn
Vice Presidential Debate Results
October 3, 2008
Going into last night’s debate, I wanted to get an honest, untainted opinion on who did better. Because I can’t trust MSNBC or Fox News, or even myself.
Then it came to me at lunch. As I sat there with Gwenn, my brother Kip and his family which includes a beautiful wife and two daughters (9 and six months old, respectively) it came to me: the children are the future. That cheesy song is right… they will have to live with the consequences of this election longer than I will, and they don’t even get to vote!
That’s why I turned to a new neighbor to sort this debate out. Meet My Pet Virus’ first political correspondent: Evelyn.
If you read this blog, you actually met her a couple of weeks ago in True Babies.
Evelyn is three weeks old, and I decided to watch the debate with her and monitor her responses, like those weird lifelines that float up and down the screen, representing undecided Women and Men voters, and occasionally Republicans, Democrats and Independents.
Well, all those test groups have had a lifetime of manipulating. As I watched Evelyn drool, I knew I’d found the perfect barometer to gauge the candidates. Of course, she’s too young to speak, so I made a few categories: Grunt, Cry and Smile.
With pen in hand, I awkwardly watched Evelyn as the Vice Presidential candidates met center stage… it was awkward because Evelyn was breast feeding. “Research!” I told my friend, Lauren, as she tended to her child.
Democrat Joe Biden got off to a shakey start, eliciting a scathing nipple Bite, forcing me to adjust and create a new category on the fly. That was followed by a ten-minute nap: not a good sign for the Senator from Delaware.
Evelyn woke up just in time to get her first taste of Sarah Palin, and I wondered if sexism against Joe might make Palin a more comfortable fit for the young politico?
As Palin addressed the nation, Evelyn grunted and smiled. My notion rang true, and I did not judge her, just wrote down the results like a real reporter…
Then it happened- as Sarah Palin was in mid-riff, Evelyn began to cry. Change she could believe in involved a clean diaper, and crapping her pants had evened out Joe’s sleep-inducing policy wonking.
Forty minutes in, this was anybody’s debate.
A Grunt for Joe, then a Bite for Palin, “Ouch!” Lauren screamed. Just as it seemed like this thing was Biden’s, he inspired another Grunt and his second Bite of the evening. He was trailing, and Evelyn was spent, retiring to her crib with a little less than half the debate to go: like most Americans, she’d seen enough… I set down my pen, and then, as Palin spoke Evelyn cried from afar, helping Biden narrowly escape with a draw.
I’m hoping I can tap Evelyn for the next Presidential Debate, where I’ll make sure to take note of not only her responses, but the topics that set her off. Still, overall I’m happy about this, and thus far most media sources agree with the three-week old, though I doubt Wolf Blitzer or Sean Hannity shat themselves.
Positively Yours,
Shawn
Do It For Bullwinkle, Joe
October 2, 2008
On Monday, I posted my thoughts on the bailout, and that it should include covering the minor gambling losses of people with AIDS. Namely me.
Well, later that day Obama sent me a signal through the national media, just a little hint that I’d be taken care. And I quote: “I enjoy a little friendly game of poker myself every now and then,” Obama said… what else could that possibly mean?
The media is once again allowing themselves to get excited about a political debate, with tonight’s Biden V. Palin slobberknocker. The hype machine reminds me of boxing, where I’m constantly told that I can’t miss something, only to tune and be let down.
Fight of the Millenium, anyone? That was Oscar de la Hoya VS. Felix “Tito” Trinidad. In 1999, the two best fighters in the world circled one another for 12 rounds, hardly throwing a punch and uncapitivating an audience whose bloodlust would have to be satiated elsewhere.
If entertainment is what you seek, my friend made a Palin parody of the uber-catchy summer hit, “I Kissed a Girl”. It’s called “I Killed a Moose”, check it out here.
Positively Yours,
Shawn
Viral Load Test Results
October 2, 2008
This week I finally willed myself to email Dr. Greg and get my viral load test results, they were undetectable- the best result possible.
Which is cool, since the labs were taken on my 7th day off meds before starting a week on cycle. (Think Karate Kid, only “Week On! Week Off!”, instead of “Wax on! Wax off!”)
At my appointment two weeks ago, Dr. Greg informed me that his teenage son is re-reading My Pet Virus… which got me thinking… maybe I should put Dr. Greg in my next book? You know, the one I said I wouldn’t blog about anymore?
During the book publishing process, a “sample cover” was sent to me, which scared me shitless and may have inspired the expression on my face on the real cover. But I’m thinking, this might be awesome for the next book! The one where Dr. Greg stakes vampires through the heart…
I ran this by the good doc, and gave me the green light to use him, under one condition: if it gets made into a movie, he gets final say as to who plays him. I retained potential film/TV rights when I signed with my publisher…
Like patient, like doctor.
Positively Yours,
Shawn
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