Why I Love the Olympics
August 11, 2008
My last fake outrage post about the Olympics has been haunting me- especially since I’ve been watching the Games every night before I go to bed.
How can you not cheer for that swimming dude who has inspired a nation to believe? No, not Phelps- I’m referencing the Korean swimmer, Park-Tae-hwan, who, at the age of 14, was disqualified in the 2004 games when he lost his balance and fell into the pool. He didn’t even get to race! Well, he ate nothing but glass for four years and came back to win Korea’s first Gold Medal in swimming this year… triumph!
And what the controversy over China’s female gymnastics team? Everyone is so worried about whether they are 16, that no one has bothered to test them for steroids… brilliant strategy!
Is this athlete… juicing?
Speaking of strategies, the International AIDS Conference has wrapped up, and AIDSmeds.com has the information hook-up. Also, fellow Poz bloggers Regan and Paul weren’t sitting on their asses watching the Olympics, they were there. So swing by their blogs to get their take on the conference.
Actually, this weekend I didn’t sit on my ass the whole time. I’m limping around, actually. Not because I was inspired to give the uneven bars a go, but because I played a Synthetic Division show… will be blogging and posting some photos soon… as well as the Hemo2Homo Connection review of Batman!
Positively Yours,
Shawn
Check out my memoir, My Pet Virus, and click to read a sample. Video of reviews.
Give a listen to "Sign", one of my songs from Synthetic Division’s Get with the Programs (co-written with Kyle Wiggins):
Get the song here on iTunes!
Be sure to visit ShawnandGwenn.com, where you can see clips of our educational work at colleges and universities, as well as media clips from MTV safe sex programming and a Dr. Drew talk show. 2006 video of me and Gwenn, when I was finishing up My Pet Virus.
Haven’t seen a real blog in a day or so? Follow my cellphone micro-blogging at Twitter.com.
Shawn’s Favorite Things: Engine Down
August 8, 2008
To escape the impending clot-fest of the Olympics, I ran off to Richmond to see a screening of Engine Down’s new DVD- “From Beginning to End”. Here’s the trailer:
Watching the documentary gave me a lot of insight into the band, whose music is still among my favorite. It also brought back a lot of memories, how I came to know their music and their bass player, Jason, the gentleman who open the trailer above with a toast to his friends.
I always assume the bands of mutual friends suck, because statistics back up such an assumption. So I wasn’t eager to check out this “great band” my friends, Kelly and Jeff, kept telling me about. Plus, back in 1999 it took more work to hear a band. The night I met Jason, I mentioned our group of mutual friends go putt putting and his eyes were the only set that lit up.
A friendship was born.
When his then-girlfriend, Danielle, got a job working alongside Gwenn at the local AIDS Services Organization, it only insured that we’d be hanging out and putt putting on a regular basic. I also heard his band- and they were actually good.
Very good.
Around the time I met Jason, I’d just started meds, and I remember Danielle telling me how much Jason enjoyed our friendship. And that he worried about me. I was still kind of skinny, gaining weight back on my first set of HIV drugs. But he was skinnier than me- he was in an indie rock band, after all.
After hearing Engine Down, I had an ambitious idea for the local goth music night, run by new friends in Bella Morte. Why not get Bella Morte and Engine Down together for a fundraising show? I selflessly offered Synthetic Division (just me swaying behind two synthesizers) as the opener, and both bands donated their services.
In 2005, cuddle-time with Jason and Jonathan of Engine Down
The Tokyo Rose, the sushi bar that hosted the show, was packed. Indie kids and goth kids bantied about in their skinny jeans and leather pants, and our friends from the AIDS Services Group gave out condoms to everyone. I talked briefly about my HIV status before launching into a 20-minute set, swaying behind the keyboards before the pros in Bella Morte and Engine Down took the stage.
For six years afterwards, the flyer stayed on the refrigerator. I have a feeling the flyer is going to make a dramatic return.
When I wrote My Pet Virus, I was so moved by a lyric on their final, self-titled album that I asked if I could use it. (They said, “Hell yeah!”) It goes as follows:
“Please don’t ask me again, please don’t ask her again. It’s okay you didn’t know we have a long time waiting.”
That resonated with me in regard to my job, working with Gwenn and educating about HIV, which means opening up our personal life for Q&A, often fielding the following query: “Gwenn, what would you do if Shawn got sick? Or died?” I take pride in making people comfortable enough to ask such questions, but Engine Down gave that pat on the shoulder. “It’s okay, you have a long time waiting.”
If you’ve never heard of Engine Down, check them out. I promise they don’t suck.
“Cover”, from the album Engine Down
Positively Yours,
Shawn
Check out my memoir, My Pet Virus, and click to read a sample. Video of reviews.
Give a listen to "Sign", one of my songs from Synthetic Division’s Get with the Programs (co-written with Kyle Wiggins):
Get the song here on iTunes!
Be sure to visit ShawnandGwenn.com, where you can see clips of our educational work at colleges and universities, as well as media clips from MTV safe sex programming and a Dr. Drew talk show. 2006 video of me and Gwenn, when I was finishing up My Pet Virus.
Haven’t seen a real blog in a day or so? Follow my cellphone micro-blogging at Twitter.com.
Why I Hate the Olympics
August 6, 2008
Every four years the greatest athletes of the world gather to compete for gold and glory. The way I see it, they are just rubbing my bleeding disorder in my face.
“Hey, look at me! I can do flips and land on my feet- no knee hemorrhages!”
“Look at this! I’m launching myself through the air with this sharp pole. If I land on it? No problem, that’s what band-aides are for!”
Ironically, the only athletes that make me think a thinblood has a chance at the Olympics are the boxers, who have to wear that ridiculous looking headgear….
OK, maybe not, unless the cornermen are allowed to inject their boxers with clotting factor.
Wait, what about the swimmers? I haven’t swam regularly since I was 12, but I have a pool pass to the Holiday Inn via my Cold’s Gym membership. Of course, I’d have to start training now, which means I’d be 37 the next time the games roll around… which is just enough time to rally the bleeding disorders community!
If we can get Marco Polo added to the games, then we can grab the gold in 2012.
“Marco?”
Positively Yours,
Shawn
Check out my memoir, My Pet Virus, and click to read a sample. Video of reviews.
Give a listen to "Sign", one of my songs from Synthetic Division’s Get with the Programs (co-written with Kyle Wiggins):
Get the song here on iTunes!
Be sure to visit ShawnandGwenn.com, where you can see clips of our educational work at colleges and universities, as well as media clips from MTV safe sex programming and a Dr. Drew talk show. 2006 video of me and Gwenn, when I was finishing up My Pet Virus.
Haven’t seen a real blog in a day or so? Follow my cellphone micro-blogging at Twitter.com.
Synthetic Division Steals a Dog
August 5, 2008
![benefit[1].jpg](http://blogs.poz.com/shawn/upload/benefit%5B1%5D.jpg)
I left out the biggest piece of information about River the Cat- he is looking for a permanent home! If you live near Connecticut, click on his name and make contact. He’d love to hear from you.
I’d adopt River myself, but I’m afraid he’d steal all the attention away in this household, with his FIV and overall cuteness.
In Synthetic Division news, I got a phone call a couple of days ago, and will be playing a show this Saturday in Charlottesville. Which is cool, because I don’t have any shows on the calendar. Plus, this one is to raise money for the Dawning- the local goth night- so they can purchase a P.A. system.
Synthetic Division has lost it’s way as of late, stealing cupcakes and embarking on other petty bits of crime to pass the summer. Perhaps knowing that I cannot give River the Cat a home led me to my latest atrocity as one half of a Virginia-based synthpop duo?
Only the curious should click the YouTube video below…
Oh, come on. Don’t act like you’ve never stolen your friends’ dog before.
Positively Yours,
Shawn
Check out my memoir, My Pet Virus, and click to read a sample. Video of reviews.
Give a listen to "Sign", one of my songs from Synthetic Division’s Get with the Programs (co-written with Kyle Wiggins):
Get the song here on iTunes!
Be sure to visit ShawnandGwenn.com, where you can see clips of our educational work at colleges and universities, as well as media clips from MTV safe sex programming and a Dr. Drew talk show. 2006 video of me and Gwenn, when I was finishing up My Pet Virus.
Haven’t seen a real blog in a day or so? Follow my cellphone micro-blogging at Twitter.com.
Meet River the Cat
August 2, 2008
Tomorrow marks the beginning of the XVII International AIDS Conference in Mexico City. Every two years this happens, and what will come out of the week-long meetings and exchanging of information?
In the last few days, news about HIV/AIDS has been a mixed catnip bag. The brakes were put on a clinical trial for an AIDS vaccine- bad news. Also, a new report is suggesting that the epidemic’s impact on the African American community here in the U.S. rivals the impact in other parts of the world. While on the other end of the spectrum, a couple of doctors in Texas think they’ve found the Achille’s heel in HIV, and are talking tough about knocking its proverbial balls off…. bad ass!
I’m pulling for those guys, and I hope there is some talk of this at the conference this week.
Me? I’ve never been to an International AIDS Conference. My dearly departed Dr. Lyman Fisher used to go, and invited me along. But it wasn’t until two years ago that I actually tried to get in. Gwenn and I applied to do our “Boy, Girl, Virus” program for positoids/doctors/folks and got rejected.
Hemophobia? Probably not. But I’m absolutely sure that something was slated that sucked worse than us. Either way, this year’s conference brought up that painful memory of rejection, which left me licking my wounds… until relief came from an unlikely source.
Yesterday I got an add request and a touching message on MySpace from a cat named River. River is living with FIV- Feline Immunodeficiency Virus, which I guess makes HIM a “pawsitoid” to my “positoid”. Anyway, we’ve become fast friends, because there’s no faster way to my heart than posting a nice review of my book. (“A purrrrrfectly great book!”, River wrote, giving it a rare and much-deserved four paws up.)
Right now, River is doing everything he can to raise awareness in his own community about FIV… get that cat a ticket to Mexico City, pronto!
Positively Yours,
Shawn
Check out my memoir, My Pet Virus, and click to read a sample. Video of reviews.
Give a listen to "Sign", one of my songs from Synthetic Division’s Get with the Programs (co-written with Kyle Wiggins):
Get the song here on iTunes!
Be sure to visit ShawnandGwenn.com, where you can see clips of our educational work at colleges and universities, as well as media clips from MTV safe sex programming and a Dr. Drew talk show. 2006 video of me and Gwenn, when I was finishing up My Pet Virus.
Haven’t seen a real blog in a day or so? Follow my cellphone micro-blogging at Twitter.com.
The Last Lecture
August 1, 2008
Late last night, Gwenn and I watched a Primetime special on Randy Pausch, a college professor who inspired millions of people with his words. Randy passed from pancreatic cancer this year, and here’s a clip of his famous “Last Lecture” from September of 2007.
“If I don’t seem as depressed or morose as I should be, I’m sorry to disappoint you.” - Randy Pausch
In my work with Gwenn, I get a lot of pats on the back for how I’ve handled my HIV diagnosis. But since speaking out, I’ve always looked back and thought that I had it easy, it was my parents who probably struggled the most. At 11, I just had some bad luck with my hemophilia treatments and was given one more excuse to stay home from school and pretend to be sick.
Of course, it went a little deeper than that. I was so freaked out that I chose to ignore HIV entirely, and just live my life as best I could. My family showered me with affection, but they always had so nothing really changed there. And from the beginning with hemophilia, I’d been taught not to feel sorry for myself: that incredible lesson wasn’t obvious to me when I was diagnosed with HIV…
But at 18, when I found out I had contracted hepatitis C from a blood product treatment, I remember being very worried. I wasn’t a kid anymore, I was finally a young adult, trying to figure out where I fit in. I was a year and a half removed from my decision to write and speak out about my HIV diagnosis, probably the biggest turning point of my life.
The night that I got the news about hep C, however, I was thinking that this could be it. That I’d survived HIV for nearly half my life, only to contract this other virus that would be my undoing.
It just seemed so sick.
But the next morning? I woke up just like I’d done the day before. And among my first thoughts was: “If HIV couldn’t get me, then neither can this.” Being a realist, I figured that if it did, what good would worrying about it bring?
In 2006, I was fortunate to get some good medical news about hepatitis. In twelve years, the virus had shown no signs of presenting a threat, and I was told I’d “cleared” hepatitis C. That I’d always test positive for antibodies, but I didn’t need to worry about it. Thankfully, that was a decision I’d made eleven years earlier.
I guess what I’m trying to write, is that I wouldn’t trade my life for anyone else’s. And I think Randy Pausch, wherever he is now, would say the same thing about his own journey. And my hope is that you, whoever or wherever you are, feel the same way about yourself.
Have a nice weekend.
Positively Yours,
Shawn
Check out my memoir, My Pet Virus, and click to read a sample. Video of reviews.
Give a listen to "Sign", one of my songs from Synthetic Division’s Get with the Programs (co-written with Kyle Wiggins):
Get the song here on iTunes!
Be sure to visit ShawnandGwenn.com, where you can see clips of our educational work at colleges and universities, as well as media clips from MTV safe sex programming and a Dr. Drew talk show. 2006 video of me and Gwenn, when I was finishing up My Pet Virus.
Haven’t seen a real blog in a day or so? Follow my cellphone micro-blogging at Twitter.com.
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