Empowering Heroes Conference
March 31, 2008
On Friday, Gwenn and I spoke at the Empowering Heroes Conference in St. Paul, Minnesota, and had the chance to talk with Jeanne White. I finally got a chance to thank her for speaking at James Madison University in 1998.
Why? Because that’s where Gwenn and I met.
In my book, My Pet Virus, I attribute that chance encounter to her son, Ryan, pulling strings from above to help a fellow thinblood out. Even though the AIDS activist community is fairly small, I’d never had the privilege of really speaking with Jeanne White before last Friday
And, let it be known- Jeanne White rocks. She has a really good sense of humor, and is like the Godmother of all the thinblooded positoids from the 1980′s. In addition to Jeanne, I got to meet a lot of positoids and negatoids who equally rocked my socks. And what was cool about the conference was that, when Gwenn and I spoke, she was in the minority as someone living without HIV: there were newly diagnosed, long-term survivors and other sero-diverse couples… I really enjoyed sharing my experiences with this crowd… my crowd!
Make no mistake: I love what Gwenn and I do, in regard to our public speaking/education work. I understand that- in the eyes of our standardly HIV negative audiences- that I begin our talks as some sort of circus oddity: MAN WITH AIDS! SEE HIM SPEAK! HE SLEEPS WITH HIS WIFE… WHO DOESN’T HAVE AIDS!
Last Friday, that pressure to debunk that initial perception wasn’t there. I didn’t even notice until we started, it was like an unexpected breath of fresh air. And, I won’t lie, I relished that clean feeling that only a roomful of positoids could provide.
Positively Yours,
Shawn
Ric Flair Complete Interview
March 28, 2008
Here’s the inteview I did with Ric Flair, hope you enjoy! -S
Have you done an interview for an HIV/AIDS magazine before?
I never have done one, ever.
Well, this is an honor to break you into the HIV market.
OK.
As somebody living with hemophilia I gotta know one thing: what was your bloodiest match?
I don’t know, Shawn. That would be very hard, to think back over the last 35 years to think of the bloodiest. I’ve had a lot of ‘em.
In all your years of wrestling, have you ever been in the ring and worried about the amount of blood you were losing?
No, I have not. I don’t think like that when I’m in the ring.
That fascinates me, I remember so many times as a kid being worried about your health. You’re kind of like a superhero for people who don’t have a lot of clotting factor.
(Laughs.) I guess, I never thought of it like that. In terms of that, I’m not sure if that’s good or bad.
It’s a good thing! Trust me!
When I was growing up, you were the first anti-hero I gravitated towards: a bad guy that people loved. Did you have any anti-heroes as a kid?
I did not. The two athletes I really liked growing up were Wilt Chamberlain and Joe Namath.
At the beginning of your career you were in a plane crash. How did that near-death experience change your outlook on life?
I don’t know that it did. At the time I was worried as to whether or not I’d be able to wrestle again. It probably humbled me a little bit. At that point I was in the infancy of my career. I didn’t relive it or think about it much after the first year.
Did your family or friends express any concern about you getting re-injured?
No.
Going back to the question of blood in pro wrestling- in the 1980’s there was widespread panic about how HIV was transmitted. People weren’t sure if you could get it from handshakes or sweating. Given that aura, how did the wrestling business address the issue of HIV in the 80’s?
I don’t know that we did. I don’t think we thought of it in terms of that. It was just something that was there. There were obviously concerns, but I don’t think anybody was preoccupied with that worry in wrestling.
Nobody ever discussed it in the dressing room, like “What’s going on with this?” I know wrestlers, in terms of the lifestyle outside of the ring, there can be a lot partying and unsafe sex…
Shawn, you know what, I’m not comfortable with this interview right now. We’re going in the wrong direction, and I don’t want to discuss it anymore.
Anymore about?
We’re going the wrong the way with the interview, I’m not comfortable with it.
OK, let’s change course a little bit. In terms of being out there in the public domain, you endorsed Mike Huckabee. Did the WWE have a problem with you endorsing a political candidate?
No, not at all. Never said a word to me about it.
Hypothetical question: Hell-in-Cell steel cage match, who would win between Mike Huckabee, Hillary Clinton and John McCain, with yourself and Chuck Norris being banned from ringside?
Absolutely Mike Huckabee. (Both laugh.)
You wouldn’t be the special guest referee by any chance would ya?
Uh uh.
In wrestling, one of the things people like is that anything can happen. Wrestling referees are ribbed across the board for missing things. What do you think will come first: a cure for AIDS or a universal eye-care plan for pro wrestling officials?
I don’t know and once again I’m not really comfortable with this interview. I’m not going to make light of that at all.
Of AIDS?
Yes. I’m really uncomfortable with the whole interview to be honest with you.
I apologize. I just wanted to talk to you because you kind of one of my pop-culture idols. And in terms of…
I appreciate all of that. I just don’t like the way the interview is going. I really appreciate that you respect me and I certainly wish you very well in life. I just can’t be commenting on stuff like this.
OK, all the best to you.
And to you.
Thanks for taking the time, I’m sorry if you were uncomfortable about anything in this interview.
I just didn’t know we’d discuss anything personal or talk about wrestling in that light. They’re two different things: wrestling doesn’t have anything to do with HIV, it just doesn’t. There are a lot of sports- hockey has blood, football has blood- just a lot of the sports. I just don’t want to connect wrestling in any way, shape or form. We’re very sympathetic, obviously, the world is as we are individually. HIV: we don’t talk about it in terms of wrestling.
In basketball they didn’t really address it until Magic Johnson came back in the 90’s. You’re one of the few guys who have been in the wrestling before HIV hit through today, when more is known about how it is transmitted. I didn’t mean to put you on the spot, and I wish you the very best.
Thank you Shawn, so much. Best of luck to you.
My Virus Can Have a Beer
March 26, 2008
Twenty-one years ago today, I took the biggest test of my life at age 11: my HIV test.
If you don’t know the results of that particular test, you haven’t been following along very closely on this blog. And that’s totally cool- often times this blog is more about laughing at life than detailing every detail of already much-detailed existence with my pet virus.
But today, on his big 21st b-day, I am stepping aside to give him the spotlight and buy him a well-deserved drink. It’s been a long, strange journey, virus, and I look forward to getting you an “Over The Hill” t-shirt in nineteen years.
Positively Yours,
Shawn
Check out my music, Synthetic Division, LIVE: Saturday, April 19 in Los Angeles (The Galaxy on Melrose). Live in DC at Midnight (www.dcmidnight.com) Saturday, June 7.
Give a toast to my pet virus, make a donation to the AIDS Walk by clicking Support.
The Ric Flair Poz Column
March 24, 2008
Some months ago I posted a fanciful blog in which I challenged Ric and Mike Huckabee to a steel cage match with Dennis Kucinich as my tag-team partner.
This was a comical response to Huckabee’s early 90′s comments on people with HIV (that they should be isolated), Flair’s endorsement of Huckabee for President, and my fleeting man crush on Kucinich. Well, a lot has changed since December… Huckabee is out, as is Kucinich. I developed a serious case of Obamania, and Ric Flair put politics on hold in order to perfect his wrestling holds in preparation for his (possibly) last match at Wrestlemania this coming Sunday.
But, along the way, a funny thing happened: I spoke with Ric Flair on the telephone. The result is in the April issue of Poz magazine, and you can read my column here. I’ll be posting some of the Q&A session here at a later time. Hope you enjoy the piece.
Positively Yours,
Shawn
Check out my music, Synthetic Division, LIVE: Saturday, April 19 in Los Angeles (The Galaxy on Melrose). I won’t be “walking that aisle” to a wrestling ring anytime soon, as Ric Flair puts it, but I will be walking in the NY AIDS Walk. Please consider supporting Gwenn and I.
Mr. Roboto’s Revenge
March 21, 2008
Last weekend, Gwenn and I went to DC to see the Gay Men’s Chorus perform a tribute to the 80′s. I’d be remiss if I didn’t say how awesome it was, particularly the opening number, “Mr. Roboto”.
There’s something inspiring about seeing roughly 70 gay men sing, in unison, “Secret secret, I’ve got a secret!” Especially knowing that, thankfully, if any of them do have a secret it’s not in regard to their sexual orientation.
Near the end, there was a touching tribute to key moments in the HIV/AIDS crisis. What kind of 80′s show is it without AIDS?
“I’ve got a secret, I’ve been hiding, under my skin.” – STYX
Right now Mr. Roboto is kicking the shit out of the Decker-Barringer household: Monday, we lost our new Mac: it was two-months old. Before we could even register the loss, Wednesday brought more turmoil when I attempted to heat up a sandwich and the microwave flatlined, too. Now, it is nothing more than a glorified timer for the oven which is, as of this hour, still in working order.(And cooking a pizza as I write.)
But far worse than that, Gwenn has been befallen by one of the cold/coughs going around. A friend had it, and damaged a vocal chord coughing. It’s a funny balance being a positoid and wanting to take care of a negatoid partner. There’s that, “Need anything? Anything I can put on a ten-foot pole or slide to you with a rake?”
Without the aide of a rake, I’ve avoided all these things that are going around. Although I did get a tickle in my throat earlier tonight, just after I ran through the Synthetic Division with Marshall, the keyboard player/badass. I’m hoping any would-be ailments stay away until after the show in Richmond on Saturday, the first one of the Synthetic Division National Tour.
Luckily, I have a month to rest up before the 2nd and final show of the tour, which is in L.A. next month.
OK, it’s time to get the pizza out of Mr. Oven. Domo arigato, Mr. Oven.
Positively Yours,
Shawn
Live in or around Richmond? Come out and see my band on Saturday night at Alley Katz. Click to hear all the bands that are playing… In L.A.? Then don’t forget about the show Saturday, April 19 at the Galaxy on Melrose.
Obamania is Not Genetic
March 19, 2008
On Monday I went to my old stomping grounds, Waynesboro, to meet up with my family for dinner at a Japanese Steakhouse. The new kid on the block, Helayna, was there, as was my 9-year old niece, Katelyn. Halfway through dinner, I leaned over to Katie and asked her about something that had been bothering me.
“Is your sister mad at me?”
“What Uncle Poo?”
“She’s not talking to me…” I started.
“SHE CAN’T TALK!”
Fortunately for Katie and Helayna, they’re too young to vote, too. I write this because 2008 is a tough election cycle for the family Decker: my parents love Hillary, my bro has always carried the burden of being the sole Republican in a “blue family” (I’ve had it easier as the guy with AIDS in the family) and I’m for Obama.
At dinner, the chef was flipping pieces of food into our mouths. We all had a good time and, thankfully, political views were not on the menu. There was no discussion over who would answer a phone at 3 A.M. Personally, the thought of having a Phone Sleeper as President makes me sick to my stomach, but that’s my issue, which I’ve already touched upon in a previous blog.
One funny thing Mom said a couple of weeks ago was: “Obama is pie in the sky! Hillary will put bread on the table!” Are they running for the President of Russia, 1908? (I don’t know Russian history, be nice, History majors.)
For a lot of reasons, my parents think people will flock to McCain if it comes down to him and Obama. That Hillary is tough enough to take him down, that “it takes a Clinton to clean up after a Bush!” In some ways, it’s win-win for me: if Obama gets the nomination that’s great, since I really think he’s the best person of the final three for the job.
If Hillary does, then I don’t have to hear anymore slogans or doomsday scenarios.
And, I guess, if John McCain gets elected, I don’t have to worry about being drafted to fight in a war. The Army hasn’t- as of yet- been strained to the point where they are reaching out to thinbloods. But I’ll let everyone know if I see an Army Recruiter at the next hemophilia conference. (I know, there’s no talk of draft.)
Whatever the outcome, I simply don’t want politics to put a strain on any of the relationships I have with the people I love most because, God only knows, I’m still trying to rebuild my relationship with young Helayna, who still isn’t returning my phone calls.
Positively Yours,
Shawn
Check out my synth duo, Synthetic Division, LIVE: This Saturday, March 22 in Richmond, Virginia (Alley Katz) and Saturday, April 19 in Los Angeles (The Galaxy on Melrose).
Sponsor Gwenn and I in the AIDS Walk NY!
Eric Cartman of South Park Has AIDS
March 17, 2008
In the latest episode of South Park, Eric Carman gets HIV from a blood transfusion during a tonsillectomy gone horribly wrong. “One in a billion chance,” the doctor says of his infection, before offering him some ice cream.
There’s a poorly attended fundraiser for Cartman, but even Elton John stiffs him, opting to sing at a cancer fundraiser instead. Jimmy Buffet fills in, singing “AIDSburger in Paradise”. And when his buddy, Kyle laughs at him for dramatizing his diagnosis, Cartman wants to show him that it’s not right to laugh at someone for having HIV… So what does he do? He injects his friend in the lip with HIV.
But don’t worry, they are cured soon thereafter by injecting money into their blood stream. Anyone who has seen the cost of HIV medications firsthand can relate to that.
Did Cartman handle his brief existence with HIV in the best way? Probably not, but his brave battle did not go unnoticed here. I made him this t-shirt as a token of my support since, as he learned, AIDS just isn’t the cool cause anymore.
Positively Yours,
Shawn
Check out my synth duo, Synthetic Division, LIVE: Saturday, March 22 in Richmond, Virginia (Alley Katz) and Saturday, April 19 in Los Angeles (The Galaxy on Melrose). Support Shawn and Gwenn in the AIDS Walk.
Synthetic Division “National” Tour
March 15, 2008
OK, so it’s not really a national tour. It doesn’t span 2 cities- Los Angeles and a show in Richmond- and I won’t be traveling in a van for the tour: I’ll be flying out using Reward Miles.
Oh, and the shows are one month apart. But hey, cut me some slack, that’s how people with AIDS tour.
Positively Yours,
Shawn
life in photos
I am frightened by ceilings. A terrible phobia to have.
Today's assortment of treats: tea for Gwenn, a mocha for me and a cookie to share.
My buddy Sharanya preparing my mocha with just an extra dash of love.
Hanging on wall in our guest bedroom. Couldn't agree more!
Speaking About Sexual Health
Since 2000, Shawn and Gwenn have been speaking about sexual health together, sharing their personal story and empowering others to be safe. If you are interested in having them speak at your event, fill out the Contact Us form.
Check out Shawn's music and buy his book, My Pet Virus, which is now available on Kindle!
It will be the funniest book you've ever read about someone having AIDS... guaranteed!