Pedro Zamora
February 29, 2008
Pedro Zamora was 22 when he passed to spirit in November of 1994. He’d already gone public with his HIV status before he joined the cast of MTV’s reality show, The Real World.
Still living with my parents, having just turned 19, I watched that show, and ate up every moment, relating to Pedro on a very deep level. He was awesome to me because he was on TV and HIV positive.
I watched as he spoke to college students, educated housemates about transmission, and had a commitment ceremony with his positoid partner, Sean Sasser. The Real San Francisco was revolutionary for me- I’d never associated HIV with pop-culture cool before.
I’d never considered going public with my own status, either. But, a year and half after the season aired, a Real World Reunion special aired. One of Pedro’s housemates, Judd Winick, spoke out on behalf of his fallen friend. “Do something,” he said in regard to the HIV/AIDS epidemic.
The words resonated. A month later, I launched My Pet Virus the web site, which led to an interview with Poz Magazine. My “roaring 20′s” had started, and HIV- of all things after a decade of silence- was to be the engine for that decade of my life.
I never had the opportunity to meet Pedro Zamora, but I did get to sleep in Sean Sasser’s pajamas in ’98 when I was in San Francisco for a Poz Life Expo. (He let me borrow them, don’t get any ideas.) I also met Judd Winick along the way, thanking him for his inspiring words and work on behalf of people with HIV.
Fourteen years after Pedro’s death, there are millions of people living with HIV/AIDS in the world, and AIDS is the leading cause of death for young African American women in the United States.
Today would have been Pedro Zamora’s 36th birthday. I can’t think of a better day for you to do something.
Positively Yours,
Shawn
Judd’s beautiful tribute to his friend, Pedro & Me, can be found/ordered at your local bookstore, or here.
Hemo2Homo Reconciliation Special
February 28, 2008
Homo: So, positoid. I thought we should discuss the Oscars. I was amazed that most of the winners had very deep accents. What parts of America were they from, anyway? Ain’t this supposed to be the AMERICAN movie awards?
Hemo: I’m not talking to you anymore.
Homo: Why?
Hemo: Read my blog.
Homo: You have a blog? Hold on. Hmmmm. Oh, I see someone’s little ego is bruised because Homo beat his socks off in the predictions game. And you’re blaming it on your cold?
Hemo: I learned blogging from watching you! And, yes, I was all out of sorts. I didn’t even know Daniel Day Lewis was up for anything until you mentioned him.
Homo: Well I think you should blame it on your week on/week off med regimen. That virus is bouncing around your body all pissed off. Up and down. Up and down. Poor little thing.
Hemo: My virus is like Cuba Gooding Jr. when he won back in the day.
Homo: Look, young one. Let’s be honest here. When your answer to every category is “Rambo,” I don’t really think you can expect good results. Especially Sylvester Stallone as Best Actress in a Leading Role.
Hemo: I guess so. And positoids should support other positoids, no matter what. So what did you think of your amazing run this year?
Homo: I was so happy for Marion Cotillard, nothing else mattered to me. But, yeah, I am impressed with myself.
Hemo: Okay, okay… now let’s talk about the show itself.
Homo: Except for that Black choir, that was the single Whitest television show I’ve seen since Laurence Welk. I felt like I was in a time warp. They even forgot they used to have a Black host. Whoopi just got erased from picture.
Hemo: Did you notice they left Brad Renfro off the Death List? Probably because he was in an AIDS movie – The Cure - and AIDS isn’t that cool in Hollywood anymore.
Homo: Oh, my god. You’re right. We homos got a nod with the whole Heath Ledger thing even though he wasn’t, you know, gay. I wonder if he was a thinblood and somehow the drugs overwhelmed his red blood count?
Hemo: I bet he was thinblooded… it’s a big secret in Hollywood. James Dean? Thinblood. Died in a horrific straight razor shaving accident; wasn’t deemed a cool way to go, hence the cover-up. Same thing with Belushi. Damn you Hollywood folks and you’re hemophobia! We thinbloods are a lot of fun.
Homo: Maybe, but it didn’t look like anybody was actually having any fun at the Oscars: nobody got drunk, or did anything especially interesting or stupid. Well, except for Gary Busey, but he doesn’t count.
Hemo: Busey was robbed back in ’89. Hider In The House was awesome.
Homo: Hider In The … huh?? We’ve been doing this for how long now? A decade? You haven’t learned a damn thing about movies, have you?
Hemo: Look up the poster for this movie, Hider in the House. Look into Busey’s eyes. Tell me that’s not acting.The Hemo2Homo Connection are Shawn Decker and Steve Schalchlin.
The Hemo2Homo Connection’s creators met online in 1996, and posted their first movie review in 1998. Both have been living with HIV for over twenty years, and have annoyed their friends and loved ones for longer than that. Steve Schalchlin resides in Los Angeles, CA. He is an award-winning musician, singer and songwriter. Shawn Decker lives in Charlottesville, VA. He is the author of My Pet Virus.
Homo Sweeps Oscars- Hemo Responds
February 25, 2008
HEMO2HOMO OSCAR PREDICTION RESULTS
Homo: 6 out of 7
Hemo: 0 out of 4
For ten years, I have held my own in the Hemo2Homo Connection. Sure, I’ve heard the whispers, that Steve has the eye for the movies. That he lives in Hollywood so he knows the ins and outs. That I’m just some hick kid from Virginia riding on his partner’s drug cocktail coattails.
This year’s Oscars were my firewall. And yesterday was my chance to prove that I belonged. That I could compete with my more knowledgeable movie-review partner. I failed. And I’m not sure if I can live with that.
Viral Load Update
Got the results from my viral load test, which registered at under 50 copies after a week on meds. Which is fine. My doc said it’s unclear as to the long-term affects of a persistent/miniscule amount of viral load, the big concern being drug resistance.
But my t-cells are higher than they’ve ever been, and my viral load hasn’t been above 200 in seven years, barring my silly decision to go off meds to finish My Pet Virus, which landed me in the hospital three years ago.
So, I’m sticking to the plan. I feel good about my treatment regimen of week on/week off, and today I’m starting a week off. I’m not traveling, am getting over a cold, and am hard at work on the next book…
That’s it! Steve beat me at the Oscars because I have a tiny amount of viral load. I was distracted by the cold as well, and made my predictions during a week on meds.
I can live with that.
Positively Yours,
Shawn
The 2008 Hemo2Homo Oscar Spectacular
February 22, 2008
Glamour. Glitz. And People Who Take Themselves Way Too Seriously. Yes, It’s Oscar Time, and The Hemo2Homo Connection weighs in with their thoughts and favorites.
Best Actor Award
Homo: It is gonna be Daniel Day Lewis for doing the best John Houston imitation of the year.
Hemo: I disagree. It’s Johnny Depp for the Edward Scissorhands sequel.
Best Supporting Actor
Hemo: Ben Affleck’s little bro. Finally, Hollywood tells the story of the legendary outlaw Jesse James.
Homo: Javier Bardem for supporting actor for best new way to kill people in a movie while wearing a twisted Beatle haircut.
Best Actress Award
Homo: Marion Cotillard gave by far the greatest performance of film in the last decade but god knows if they’ll give it to her. If they don’t, I’m going to put my fingers in my ears and go “La la la la” during the acceptance speech.
Hemo: Laura Linney, for her role as Miss Elizabeth in the “Macho Man” Randy Savage bio-pic, The Savages.
Best Supporting Actress
Homo: Supporting Actress should go to Amy Ryan for “Gone Baby Gone.” Great, baby great. But it’ll probably go to Ruby Dee cuz, well, it’s Ruby
Dee. But frankly, I didn’t like her in that movie.
Hemo: Cate Blanchett for I’m Not There, only because I wasn’t there for any of the movies in this category.
Homo: Oh, you’re probably right. By this time, it’s obligatory to give Cate Blanchett an Oscar every time she sneezes on screen. But if you haven’t seen any other movies, what have you seen?
Hemo: Rambo.
Homo: OK, that’s it, I’m taking it from here.
Hemo: Have at it. But Rambo was good.
Homo: Best Animated Film is RATATOUILLE, a film that will outlive all the other movies made this year. Direction: No Country For Old Men. Hands down, a great piece of filmmaking.
Best Movie: No Country for Old Men. Driving, intense, brilliant.
Hemo: Best Action Movie: Rambo.
Homo: How about no action movies for old men, please? And if you’re going to be a world famous film critic, you should try seeing a few movies.
The Hemo2Homo Connection are Shawn Decker and Steve Schalchlin.
The Hemo2Homo Connection’s creators met online in 1996, and posted their first movie review in 1998. Both have been living with HIV for over twenty years, and have annoyed their friends and loved ones for longer than that. Steve Schalchlin resides in Los Angeles, CA. He is an award-winning musician, singer and songwriter. Shawn Decker lives in Charlottesville, VA. He is the author of My Pet Virus.
To Kid or Not To Kid?
February 20, 2008
On Monday we met our new niece, Helayna. She was napping the whole time, just chillin’ out. She didn’t have “old-man baby-face”, like most newborns. I complemented her on this. And yesterday Gwenn and I drove up to Pennsylvania from Virginia to speak at Bucknell University. We’d been there years ago, when we first started speaking, and this time it was to just about the same amount of students: close to 1,000.
The one question we’ve gotten- without fail- is the question as to whether or not we can have kids. Once that is answered in the affirmative, thanks to sperm-washing, we tackle the question of whether we want to have kids. I crack a joke, Gwenn cracks a joke, and we usually settle on the long-off thought of getting a cat someday.
As of now, I don’t think it will happen. The kid, not the cat. I love my life the way it is, and aspire to make the current model better, which includes educating with Gwenn about HIV, finishing my vampire book and continuing to write synthpop music.
But rationally thinking, there have been many things I thought I’d never do, the most shocking- to myself- of which was my decision to go public with HIV. At some point, we may want to change things up, particularly if we get bored of focusing so much of our attention on ourselves. (Speaking personally, I don’t think that will happen. I’m somewhat self-absorbed if you haven’t noticed.)
Still, I never count anything out. Life is much more fun if you let things come to you when you are ready. And right now? I’m more than happy to be an uncle again.
Positively Yours,
Shawn
An Uncle Again!
February 18, 2008
Breaking News: I became an uncle for the 2nd time last night, when my brother and sis-in-law welcomed their 2nd child.
Here’s a little vid I made a few years ago as a joke. It features my niece, Katelyn, with her baby doll. Let’s all hope she’s better at being a big sister than she was as a pretend mommie. :O)
Positively Delighted,
Shawn
My Valentines
February 15, 2008
Happy Belated Valentine’s Day!
It’s somewhat of an empty salutation, because Gwenn and I don’t really celebrate the occasion. When we first started dating, we opted to celebrate President’s Day instead, because it falls around the same time and it was much easier to get dinner reservations that way.
Of course, Bush got elected and ruined that holiday for us.
Still, I want to share my Valentines for 2008…
First up, my friends and sexy rockers, Bella Morte. Check them out below in their music video for their song, “On the Edge”:
Next up, Barack Obama… I know, I know. Enough Barack on the blog already. But wait, before you abandon me, you might want to revisit the American flag lapel pin story I wrote. The Comments Are Better Than The Story, btw. How could you not love the guy?
The Swiss. I’ve long been an admirer of their cheese and knives, and now I can add their minds to the list. A few of their experts recently issued a statement on HIV transmission that is controversial, but forward-thinking. Read it here. I won’t be abandoning my condom anytime soon, but it’s nice to hear good news about HIV as it pertains to sex and the positoids.
Of course, Gwenn. My lovely negatoid partner whom I spent Valentine’s Day with in an airport this week, traveling home from UMass Dartmouth, where I met some new valentines, the UMass Dartmouth Peer Health Educators. I love peer health educators, they do the real work on campus, spreading the good info on safe sex. We’re off tonight to speak to more peer health educators at a regional conference for Bacchus & Gamma.
Hope you and your own valentines have a great weekend.
Positively Yours,
Shawn
How to Stop AIDS, Staunton Style
February 12, 2008
There’s a bit of a ruckus over the mountain in Staunton, which is closer to Waynesboro, the Virginia town I grew up in.
It involves an adult DVD store and lots of lawyers, and is a huge case that could redefine the legality of adult videos and community standards. You can read more about it HERE and, more recently, HERE. What caught my eye was the following quote from Staunton Commonwealth’s Attorney, Ray Robertson: “There’s a reason Staunton doesn’t have an AIDS epidemic. We’re a decent, moral community.” So there ya go. The cure for AIDS- or perhaps the illusive HIV vaccine itself?- is to shut down adult DVD stores.
Breaking news from my old stomping grounds.
Positively Yours,
Shawn
life in photos
I am frightened by ceilings. A terrible phobia to have.
Today's assortment of treats: tea for Gwenn, a mocha for me and a cookie to share.
My buddy Sharanya preparing my mocha with just an extra dash of love.
Hanging on wall in our guest bedroom. Couldn't agree more!
Speaking About Sexual Health
Since 2000, Shawn and Gwenn have been speaking about sexual health together, sharing their personal story and empowering others to be safe. If you are interested in having them speak at your event, fill out the Contact Us form.
Check out Shawn's music and buy his book, My Pet Virus, which is now available on Kindle!
It will be the funniest book you've ever read about someone having AIDS... guaranteed!