A Boy, A Virus, A Doctor
April 27, 2007
I love my doctor. And a few weeks ago we had the opportunity to speak to a group of doctors on a sunny, Friday afternoon.
Dr. Greg, a great guy whom I share many laughs with during my quarterly doctor’s appointments, did a brief powerpoint presentation. Not quite as impressive as Al Gore’s Inconvenient Truth, but good enough to keep the audience of twenty on our side. As he was winding down to introduce me, he was talking about the different kinds of HIV meds, and one drug in particular whose name has slipped me.
“This drug has caused some problems,” he said. But Dr. Greg wasn’t talking about terrible side effects or resistance issues. “It’s often sold illegally as a recreational club drug.”
Soon thereafter, I asked the tough question with mock indignation, “… why haven’t you told me about this drug before?” The doctors, thankfully, let out a hearty laugh, and though it was a bit awkward to speak without Gwenn by my side, Dr. Greg proved to be a comforting stand-in.
My HIV drugs, as uneventful as they are, seem to be doing the job. And the week on/week off strategy is working well. Last week, I went in to see Dr. Greg and get some blood drawn for labs, with the understanding that cholesterol is still the achille’s heel of my blood tests. As I was watching the plasma race to fill those little tubes, I wished I’d been riding my new exercise bike a bit more in the lead up to that moment.
I emailed Dr. Greg two days ago, and predicted what my results would be. My guess was: T Cell Count: 459 (23%) Viral Load: Undetectable Cholesterol: 231
The actual results: T Cell Count: 450 (27%) Viral Load: Undetectable Cholesterol: 237
I guess I know my body. Which means I should start riding that bike more.
Positively Yours,
Shawn
DC Benefit for Life Guard This Saturday
April 23, 2007
This Saturday I’ll be at a DC benefit for Life Guard, a group that gets condoms out there so they can do their thing.
Would love to see some of you DC-area folks there! Comedian Seaton Smith will be laying the jokedown on ya, as well as comedy troupe The Late Night Players.
I met the Late Night Players at a conference a few years ago because, like Gwenn and I, they work the college circuit. I hadn’t seen their routine, so when they asked Gwenn and I if they could bum a ride back to the hotel, I thought they were a band. Upon hearing that, they argued amongst themselves over who would be lead singer, and that’s the moment I fell in love with those guys.
So come on out, I’m doing a funny reading from My Pet Virus about my friend, the condom.
Positively Yours,
Shawn
If you’re the praying type, please pray for my friend, Jordan Barnette, who was involved in an automobile accident over the weekend. All your friends are pulling for you, and I for one want to see that Borat impersonation again real soon.
Viva La Sanjaya
April 19, 2007
Sanjaya is gone. And I blame every person who is not living with HIV.
In my valiant attempt to rally the AIDS community behind the young singer, I turned to Vote For The Worst and Howard Stern for support. The latter did not reply, and the former’s response was well-documented on this blog. Even the Easter Bunny… er, Rabbit, was kind of a dickhead about things.
Vote For The Worst is already moving on to the next contestant they deem the worst, and Howard Stern is claiming that the producers rigged the vote. Well, I say that his producers suck, because they thought that booking yet another pornstar would be of more value than the support of an estimated 39 million people worldwide who are living with HIV/AIDS.
And now Sanjaya is gone. Even though I never underestimate this country’s ability to blow a national election, I’m still a little rattled. With faith in the negatoids gone, I now look within to find the strength that has helped me to battle AIDS over the years.
Viva La Sanjaya,
Shawn
Though Shawn has expressed displeasure in people without HIV in this blog, he is still gladly accepting donations for his AIDS Walk.
In the DC area? I’ll be doing a brief reading and signing books at this fundraiser! Would love to meet ya.
Go Hokies
April 17, 2007
Yesterday Gwenn and I were just about to leave our house and drive to Philadelphia to speak at Drexel University. After I made sure that TiVo was up to speed on our TV-watching needs, I turned on the news.
1 dead, 17 wounded at Virginia Tech.
Some madman with a gun had gone on a rampage, but there weren’t many details beyond that. We wanted to get more info, but had to hit the road to avoid DC traffic (the halfway point to Philly). By the time we got to Drexel, there were over 20 dead and close to 30 wounded, the worst on-campus act of violence in U.S. history.
Virginia Tech is about 3 hours away from where we live, Charlottesville. Everyone here knows someone who goes to Tech, or knows someone who knows someone that does. There’s a rivalry between the schools, which in reality just gives everyone who follows college sports around here some fun dinner table fodder. (I don’t follow college sports, but I know enough to never drive in town when there’s a football game, particularly between Tech and UVa.)
Of course, yesterday you couldn’t be a college speaker and not mention what happened. AIDS, in that moment, seemed inconsequential even to me. A cakewalk.
There were over 200 hundred students there, and I started by speaking into a lavalier mic that wasn’t working. It seemed appropriate, a moment of almost-silence. Gwenn gave me her mic, and I stated the obvious: that everyones’ minds and heart were in Virginia.
Speakers, you should know, can be fixated on their topics, but I avoided doing any lame kind of tie-in, which would have been disrespectful and inappropriate. I got a little choked up, but spoke as elloquently as possible. After I acknowledged our collective grief and worry, I was left me with only one possible segue into the program: “Now on to the fun topic… of AIDS!”
Go Hokies,
Shawn
Friday the 13th: The Missing Chapter
April 13, 2007
In writing a book, a lot of things end up in the crap heap, never to be read and usually for good reason.
The following exclusion, however, is an homage to my teen and pre-teen love of slasher flicks and horror movies that didn’t make it into the book, but isn’t half bad. No better time than Friday the 13th to share this ghastly flight of fancy.
The Return of the Living GRID
Return of the Living Dead not only entertained the most morbid corner of my humanity, the movie also inspired my first post-diagnosis inner-dialogue of resurrection. Maybe, just maybe, if AIDS struck me down I too could come back from beyond the grave to extract a little revenge on those who were free to live a life of debauchery. As my teenaged peers dreamt of making sweet love to the Playmate of the Year after a hot date, I fantasized about eating her brains after a brisk chase through an eerie, decrepit cemetery.
Even as a flesh-eating ghoul I wouldn’t be able to take Heff’s Mansion alone. Which lead me to another thought–If I were to come back from the dead, who would listen to my pleas and join my crusade?
When I was diagnosed with HIV people with AIDS were viewed as monsters, not unlike the decaying flesh-eaters of the Dead films. It’s one of the reasons why Rock Hudson was shunned in Hollywood, Liberace’s name was dragged through the mud and I was kicked out of public school. So who better to aide me in my AIDS-revenge fantasy?
And since the impending fantasy sequence takes place in the 1980′s, it’s important for us to come back in an attempt to change how people with AIDS were perceived and… nah, that wouldn’t work.
If I died a virgin there would have to be bloodshed.
Though I wasn’t particularly impressed with his music, Liberace shared my sense of vanity. Hey, I was a preppy teenager and, yes, this is shallow, but I was entering junior high school at the time and my looks were very important to me. If I were in a state of rapid decomposition, Liberace could help me look better than I did when I was alive–a kind of Queer Eye For The Dead Guy. As for Rock Hudson, well, nobody could handle a guy called “Rock.” And since so much was made not only of Hudson’s diagnosis, but his sexual orientation as well, The Enquirer would definitely be on our hit list.
But not before we cleaned up my town first.
We’d initiate our attack on the boys. This would not only eliminate my dating competition, but also endear me to my new friends. By targeting the hunky football players’ dressing room, we’d attract the unsuspecting meatheads with Ace’s enchanting piano music and sparkling sequined outfits. Nakedly lured from their showers to the 50-yard line of the dimly lit football field, they would come closer… closer… closer still…
Bam!
From behind the bleachers Rock and I strike with an onslaught that could only be described as jock and awe. The athletes finished, we’d move on to the band geeks, whom we’d easily destroy without resistance. Left to fight over my affections, the cheerleaders would plead their cases with the visions of carnage I’d masterminded not too far from the frontal lobes of their brains: the savory treats of my loyal, brooding cohorts.
Positively Yours,
Shawn
PS… Bloodlust not satisfied? Check out this compilation of every death scene in Friday The 13th. Enjoy! And Happy Friday the 13th!
Shawn Takes Manhattan: Support him in the NY AIDS Walk
! Ch-ch-ch-ah-ah-ah.
The Easter Bunny Weighs In
April 8, 2007
First of all, Happy Easter. It’s been a long weekend, shrouded in controversy. Today, I spoke to the only person who could make sense of all of this: The Easter Bunny.
ME: Hey Bunny, let me start by…
EASTER RABBIT: Easter Rabbit.
ME: Oh, sorry.
EASTER RABBIT: No worries.
ME: Let me start by saying that I’m honored by your visit today. I know you’ve been very busy this weekend.
EASTER RABBIT: It’s my pleasure. I subscribe to your blog, and I also support Sanjaya. This year, many kids will be biting into their creamy Cadbury eggs, but instead of a creamy center, there’s a ring with “I LUV SANJAYA” inscribed in it.
ME: That sounds dangerous.
EASTER RABBIT: …
ME: So what brings you to Charlottesville today? Besides spreading Sanjaya awareness and bringing treats to youngsters?
EASTER RABBIT: I just wanted to show my support for you in this whole Vote For The Worst thing. Not many people know this, but there are many Easter Rabbits, it’s just too much terrain to cover by yourself.
ME: That makes sense. Are there more than one Santa?
EASTER RABBIT: Don’t be a dumbass.
ME: Sorry.
EASTER RABBIT: Anyway, back in 1987 after you were diagnosed with HIV, there weren’t too many Easter Rabbits signing up to deliver your basket. I hopped to the task, and have been delivering your baskets ever since.
ME: Gee, thanks!
EASTER RABBIT: When I read that you were banned from The Vote For The Worst web site, I couldn’t believe it. You can probably guess who didn’t get a basket this year.
ME: Ah, don’t be too hard on them. They unbanned me. And they are trying to help Sanjaya, just like us.
EASTER RABBIT: Well, we’ll see about next year. If Sanjaya wins, they’ll get a basket.
(Easter Rabit glances at his watch.)
It’s been nice chatting with you, but I have to go, gotta start preparing the candy for next year.
ME: Well, it’s been a real pleasure chatting with you. Thanks for hopping by.
(Awkward silence.)
EASTER RABBIT: I expect better puns from you.
ME: Sorry.
EASTER RABBIT: That’s OK. Want a creamy Cadbury Egg before I leave?
ME: I think I’ll pass.
Support Shawn in the NY AIDS Walk
. Listen to the Tori Amos cover. Don’t eat Rabbit meat.
Banned By Vote For The Worst. Their Response.
April 6, 2007
4-7-07 UPDATE: Today, Dave of Vote For The Worst responded to the outpouring of support on this blog . I have been unbanned from the Worst, but whether I can recover from the initial shock of being banned is another story for another blog entry. Dave and I corresponded on email, and he told me to tell my friends to stop sending them “annoying” emails.
A couple of days ago I joined the Sanjaya rallying site, VoteForTheWorst.com, and posted about my selfless bid to rally the AIDS community around young Sanjaya.
Of course, I couldn’t resist linking to my main site, but c’mon; there’s a sweet write-up about Sanjaya there. So it wasn’t complete and utter self-promotion. The heart of my post was this kid’s inspiring rise to the top, not my highly-acclaimed cult classic memoir.
Really, if you think about it, getting kicked out of somewhere due to ignorance is somewhat poignant. This month marks my twenty-year anniversary of testing positive for HIV. In ’87 I was just a kid– infamously booted out of school– whom no one gave much of a chance of survival to. And, today, nobody’s giving Sanjaya much of a chance to actually win. I haven’t survived all these years to idly stand by and watch some kid’s Idol dream get crushed.
So Vote For The Worst doesn’t want me, eh? They think that Sanjaya can continue to ride his wave of momentum without the AIDS and hemophilia community?
Well, they may be right. But I’m not going to let them slow me down or ruin my anniversary. And, if you’ve been inspired by this blog, you can email them on my behalf, and I’ve even constructed an e-model below for your convenience.
Positively Yours,
Shawn
COPY/PASTE this message courtesy of Shawn Decker on behalf of Shawn Decker (Copy after this sentence ends, by the way.)
Dear Vote For The Worst,
I can’t believe you banned Shawn Decker from your site for having AIDS.
Sincerely,
*insert your name*
Support Shawn in the NY AIDS Walk
. Listen to the Tori Amos cover. Get the book. Vote Sanjaya.
life in photos
I am frightened by ceilings. A terrible phobia to have.
Today's assortment of treats: tea for Gwenn, a mocha for me and a cookie to share.
My buddy Sharanya preparing my mocha with just an extra dash of love.
Hanging on wall in our guest bedroom. Couldn't agree more!
Speaking About Sexual Health
Since 2000, Shawn and Gwenn have been speaking about sexual health together, sharing their personal story and empowering others to be safe. If you are interested in having them speak at your event, fill out the Contact Us form.
Check out Shawn's music and buy his book, My Pet Virus, which is now available on Kindle!
It will be the funniest book you've ever read about someone having AIDS... guaranteed!