This Is Me
August 24, 2006
The following video was made for an MTV Program called “ThinkHIV: This Is Me”. It didn’t make the show, so I’m using it– with additional edits, consider this the Director’s Cut– on my web sites… enjoy!
Letter to Cold’s Gym
August 20, 2006
I’ve officially cancelled my membership to Cold’s Gym. To do so, you have to write a letter and send it by certified mail. This is what I sent:
August 16, 2006
Dear Gold’s Gym,
I am formally requesting via certified mail that my membership be cancelled.
Though your new location was closer to my residence than the old one, a general state of sloth/malaise–which has plagued generations of my family–prevented me from taking full advantage of your services.
Regretfully,
Shawn Decker
Author of MY PET VIRUS
Whatcha Gonna Do, Brother?
August 16, 2006
That’s the famous opening to Hulk Hogan’s taunt, “… when Hulkamania runs wild on you!” I myself am more of a Ric Flair guy, and on Monday night I got to see both legends in action here in Charlottesville.
My dad used to take me to the matches just after my diagnosis in 1987, so I figured, “Why not take the old man this time around?” I also got a ticket for my brother, Kip, and Zach, a kid who is obsessed with wrestling.
The only dilemma was that this cold or whatever it is is still lingering. It really does seem to be going around, but last night I had a dream that a friend was shouting at me, “YOUR VIRUS IS REBOUNDING!” So there’s a subconcious struggle going on, mainly because I thought I’d feel better after starting this, not come down with a summer cold immediately afterwards.
Still, I was good enough to go to wrestling, and getting out was actually a good thing. The cough is superficial, not in my chest at all, and I think I’ve been kind of a wuss about the whole deal. Especially after watching the 57-year old Ric Flair getting thrown around the ring a couple of nights ago.
The big test is going to be when I get lab work done in a couple of weeks. What happens if the T Cells have dipped slightly? Or the viral load peaks up to say “Hi”? I’ll probably have a dream, in which Hulk Hogan is pointing his finger at me as I stand on the other side of the ring, shouting, “Whatcha gonna do, Positoid?”
Shawn
Sore Throat
August 8, 2006
No, my sore throat isn’t from a Samoan Spike thumb thrust to the esophagus courtesy of Umaga (I apologize, non-wrestling fans). It’s from a nasal drip. You think snot is harmless until some starts to coat your throat.
Fortunately, I don’t have anything that I really need to do this week. Ironically, the sore throat started yesterday, the last day of my week off meds. I don’t think the two are related, but I did think, “Oh my God, my virus is rebounding!” If only for a brief moment.
Still, the last time I was sick was a few months ago. I was all pumped up to get all pumped up for the summer, so I joined a couple of friends who go regularly. On day one I mentioned the strange coincidence of my getting colds right around the same time that I start going back to the gym. And, sure enough, after day two I was out of commission for four days with a nasty cold. (Cold’s Gym, anyone?)
Speaking of buff dudes, the new issue of World Wrestling Entertainment came out today and my book got a mention! They wrote “Harrowing and, surprisingly, humorous.” I’m putting all of the reviews I get on my web site, which is now adorned with blinking hazard buttons.
Shawn
In A Nutshell (My Treatment History)
August 4, 2006
I was explaining my treatment history to a friend the other day, and I thought it would be a good idea to post it here. By and large, I’ve had great success with HIV meds, which is why my current strategy is confusing to some.
IN A NUTSHELL:
1999: started HIV drugs full-time.
2000: After 10 months, I went off my meds. After a few weeks, my t-cells dropped a little and I got spooked. Started a new combo of meds.
2003: Feeling like an emotionless drone, I went on my meds one week on, one week off. The viral load remained undetectable and my t-cell count actually went up.
2005: From February to April I was off my meds entirely, getting lab work every 3-4 weeks to keep tabs. (I went off to clear my head so I could finish writing my book.)
After one month, my viral load was still undetectable but my t-cells went from 450 to 350. I wasn’t spooked. The day of my next appointment I went to the ER (platelets dropped, viral load had gone through the roof, 600,000, t-cells were 75 or so). Spent two nights in the hospital.
April 2005-last Sunday night: On meds full-time.
And my last blog entry sucked. My side effects day-to-day aren’t that bad, not as tangible as the 10 months of diarrhea on viracept or the sustained mental fog of sustiva. In 2003 the decision was based on side effects, so I have my side effects story down pretty good. This time it has more to do with long range worries. If my medication can do it’s job with half the dosage, that spares my body the expense of being on these drugs, which everyone acknowledges are pretty harsh.
There. That’s my story. In a nutshell.
Shawn
Tonight
August 1, 2006
… is the first night in the last 15 months that I won’t take my pills before I go to bed. No, wait, I think I’ve forgotten like two times. (Meaning two unintentionally missed doses in the last year.)
Week One of Week Off begins, and starting and stopping on Monday works well for me. I hope that in a month or so, my labs look good and I’m feeling better. If the labs hold up and I feel the same, then I’ll have to stop blaming my pills for every little nuasance that comes up.
Shawn
life in photos
I am frightened by ceilings. A terrible phobia to have.
Today's assortment of treats: tea for Gwenn, a mocha for me and a cookie to share.
My buddy Sharanya preparing my mocha with just an extra dash of love.
Hanging on wall in our guest bedroom. Couldn't agree more!
Speaking About Sexual Health
Since 2000, Shawn and Gwenn have been speaking about sexual health together, sharing their personal story and empowering others to be safe. If you are interested in having them speak at your event, fill out the Contact Us form.
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